5. Resurrection Man
He’s coming out of the grave clean-shaven? Whatever. Plus, look at that picture and tell me that the Yosemite Sam style isn’t working for him.
4. Hawk & Dove
Look at the balance that handlebar gives to the whole face with the mask design! It also covers up the nasty grimace habit and the incredible disappearing pointy teeth. I’d be much more intimidated by the avatar of war if he came at me in such a manly fashion.
3. Green Arrow
You’re going to take the most iconic facial hair in comics away from the man, and not give him anything back? Those Scott Caan chops aren’t cutting the mustard. If you subtract, you’ve got to add something of equal gravity. Other than the fact that he looks like Batroc the Leaper now, the look works. It’s not like it’s any more of a stretch from Ollie Queen than we’re already getting.
2. Aquaman
A king cannot be expected to rule over anyone, sea beast or otherwise, when looking like a preteen boy. He’s going to show some kingly restraint, but also keep things a bit majestic. Plus, you can’t read the man with that thing on his face, and that’s got to be useful for negotiations with the whales or whoever he’d be negotiating with. It would also drip when he gets out of the water, which I think would be funny.
1. Action Comics
Those glasses never quite did the trick, but if, in the relaunch, they managed to add super mustache growth and grooming to Kal-El’s list of talents, then he’d have a worthy disguise. With Supes’ new more Brooklyn friendly look, it makes sense that the confident impetuous youth also try to jump on the retro fashion bandwagon with this waxed super ‘stache, since he can’t find a needle strong enough to give him that neck tattoo.
Find us on Facebook
Follow us on Twitter
Subscribe to our RSS Feed
Some rights reserved.
Wow. Just. Wow.
(Love how Hawk’s mustache in the background overlays the foreground.)
I know it’s a joke, but the moustache somehow makes the art more palatable.
The moustache cures most of the art issues I had with Hawk’s face….I vote for it to stay.
This is the finest coverage iFanboy has ever provided.
Agreed!! Article of the year!!
Strongman Supes is my favorite.
Damn shame what happened to Ollie.
I endorse this post wholeheartedly.
Superman looks a little TOO perfect with that ‘stache. It was meant to be!
I was just thinking the other day how we don’t see enough handlebar mustaches in comics;)
Or anywhere else.
Move to Williamsburg. It’s the Land of Mustaches.
If that isn’t on their welcome sign I’ll be sorely disappointed.
Is it too late to slap a mustache on Henry Cavill? (That could actually be taken a couple of ways…)
Superman needs a scarf to go with his T-shirt….also more irony.
Larry David shoulda drawn one of THESE mustache’s…
Probably the most unexpected and fun post on ifanboy in a long while. good stuff.
Superman has been up villains you’ve probably never even heard of.
Beaten up. Shit. Ruined that one.
with that whole Phantom Zone thing…he totally wins the “i’ve beaten up Villains that don’t even exist” argument.
“Superman has been up villains you’ve probably never heard of”. Classic, i’m still laughing.
This devolved into slash fic really quick.
“Superman has been up villains you’ve probably never heard of”
Man, Morrison really DID change things up.
Would that increase sales or decrease them?
Is there any way we can add a mustache to the actual hawk to the right of Hawk?
I did consider it, but it was late.
I’ll get back to work on my Flux Capacitor.
I would be oddly compelled by a story where Clark goes under cover as a carny strong-man now.
with that ‘Stache….Hawk TOTALLY looks like he needs one of those old tyme-y ACME brand balloon barbells so he can be a vaudeville strongman. Josh’s photoshop skillz can handle that right? =)
This is what has been missing from the Relaunch…
I don’t think aqua man would be seen as a big joke if he’d had that mustache the whole time. That things glorious.
Two things I’m going to mention, one that resurrection man mustache should have been used and I probably would have read that piece of crap hawk and dove first issue just based off the stache lol
Lunatic.
This… makes sense O.O
Josh you should win a Pulitzer for this article. Is there any way to get this nominated? I’m writing a letter! Or maybe a online petition, those work right?
Alright, now I’m confused
Josh, thank you for this. I haven’t gotten such a laugh in quite a while.
I can’t help but hear Superman saying “I’ve abandoned my child! I’ve abandoned my boy!” LOL
There needs to be more ridiculous Top 5’s like this on the site.
Supes looks like Daniel Day Lewis from “Gangs of New York.”
“OOPSIE-DAISY!”
I believe it was actually “WHOOPSIE DAISY!”
Some things I take seriously.
Josh, you just blew my mind!
I think I saw a hipster on the Subway with that very look this morning. Wearing a Superman T-shirt and jeans and boots with a handlebar moustache. All the guy was missing was the cape. I noticed it only because I thought “this guys trying to look like the superman cover” But now Josh made the Superman cover look like him. Art is imitating life, imitating art.
umm… shouldn’t Arthur’s ‘stache be blonde?
🙂
Is it just me or does Superman with mustache look like Brian Orosco from American Ninja Warrior?
With Supes’ blues and reds, I kinda thought he looked a bit like Super Mario….
Slow news day at iFanboy?
Although, I’ve got to admit that Superstache looks good. If he’s going to act like he did in the 30s, he might as well look like it too.
Josh, dude, drunk-posting is almost as bad as drunk-dialing.
( but I hear ya about Aquaman – looks pimp )
Hey Josh,
Did you ever own a Mustache TV kit? I’m thinking you should have, in case you didn’t.
http://www.maximumfun.org/2009/05/11/our-new-pledge-gift-andy-dalys-mustache-tv
Superman is now basically Opposite Red Hulk.
He goes into a phone booth, spins around, and the facial hair extends.
Actually, that raises a question – has DC established if there are in fact, still phone booths in the new DCU?
I will buy every issue of a mustached Superman book, twice
You might as well just shut the site down now because i don’t think you’ll ever top this article :).
This is honestly best article since the “top 5 hardest creator names to pronounce”
This might be the craziest thing I’ve seen on this site.
You brilliant bastard, I salute you!
(I am surprised you held restraint and didn’t give Dove a stache)
all except for aqua man. looks to much like a sitcom dad. great pics
This is a buzzable?
I like Sam Elliott as Resurrection Man.
Trust me, everybody looks cooler in a mustache!
Wow. With that mustache added, Aquaman looks like a blonde Freddie Mercury!
This is great.
… hilarious
SEXISM!!!! What’s about all of those great FEMALE superheroes that would look awesome styling a ‘stache? I’m picturing a runs-in-the-family Commissioner-stache on Batgirl, for starters! And a plot line where every guesses that Batgirl is really Commissioner Jim in drag, because of their matching mustaches.
Also, I don’t think there’s Black Canary anywhere in the new 52, but Dinah would completely rock a ‘stache.
Green Arrow actually looks cooler with a mustache.