When Earth’s Mightiest Heroes all gather in one dwelling, you know that dwelling has got to be the most secure, impregnable fortress not currently filled with gold bars. It’s the place they keep their photo albums and wallets when they’re away in costume. It’s where they charge their phones and laptops. It’s where the yogurt in the fridge has their names Sharpied on it. It’s the one place even the most brazen ne’er-do-well would be scared to mess with. It’s that pile of rubble over there, under that six-months-fresher pile of rubble.
5. Thing Knocks Down Avengers Tower (Avengers #14)
Holy smokes, this is the Thing vs. Hulk slobberknocker to end all Thing vs. Hulk slobberknockers. Mind you, the Thing is himself an Avenger, and the dude threw the building at him. That is the kind of hostility you don’t see every day. Twice a year, tops.
4. Revengers Attack Avengers Mansion (New Avengers Annual #1)
Egad, a betrayal by one of their own! One of the classic Avengers brims with rage and launches a sneak attack that leaves the home they all once shared in ruins! You may have won this round, Wonder Man, but you’ve seen the last of your security deposit, and that’s a promise. I mean, they only just got the last stain out of the carpet from…
3. AgamottOHHH (New Avengers v.2 #6ish)
After leaving it a smoking crater for years, the Avengers finally had a like-new, refurbished Mansion for five whole issues before unholy mystical forces wrecked it by bringing hell itself to the earthly plane. It was fixed on the second panel of the following issue, proving that practice makes perfect.
2. Hulk Knocks Down Avengers Tower (World War Hulk #1)
Zounds! A savage attack on the Avengers’ sanctum, by one of their former members, no less! By this point in the Top 5, you may have noticed that virtually every one of these wanton acts of violence against Avengers property was perpetrated by a good guy. By which I mean Brian Michael Bendis.
1. Scarlet Witch Attacks Avengers Mansion (Avengers #500)
Gadzooks! A surprise attack on their very refuge, perpetrated by a member of the very team itself! This seminal moment appears to have been something of a tone setter, as well as giving a number of disgruntled staffers some big ideas. Some of the other demolitions may have been more spectacular, but you never forget your first. Unless given the opportunity by the passage of time.
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Their insurance premiums must be through the roof. All I can imagine is the CEO of Damage Control sipping a martini on his yacht — “Mmmmm…Avennnggerrrssss”.
No city government in their right mind would give a building permit to the Avengers. They should build Avengers tower in the middle of a corn field.
I hated New Avengers Annual. First comic i ever read where i wanted my money back. That i wanted to rip in half. It’s funny as i read it i did think to myself, ” hasn’t this place been torn down before? How many times will this happen???
That exactly what I thought when I read it. “didn’t this just happen a few issues ago?”
Ha – good point
i don’t understand why anyone in the Marvel Universe would choose to live in NYC. its an intergalactic war zone thats under attack every single day. Its got to be the most dangerous place in the galaxy.
I hear the street meat is pretty excellent, but i’ve only heard rumours of this and not sure if it’s true.
That’d get me to stay.
Four of those are Bendis (though they could have been war room decisions passed on to him). How many times can one dude re-use the same story beats? Hmm… The Hand, Savage Land, Hydra, Ultron, Agamotto (Doctor Voodoo), The Hood, Norman Osborn, Dark Avengers, and probably more I can’t think of. These all have had at least two arcs each, and some more. Not that some weren’t good though. That’s beside the point.
Eh. Claremont trashed Xavier’s estate umpteen times in his run, along with multiple Blackbirds, and it’s not like Avenger’s mansion was pristine prior to Bendis. Or any other New York landmark, for that matter. So until they go the JLA route and build a space station or a moon base, people trashing the joint will be an ongoing problem.
One issue I did have with all this, though – in the first New Avengers run, Tony said the Maria Stark foundation couldn’t keep rebuilding Avenger’s Mansion, so he moved everyone into his new skyscraper. Didn’t he think rebuilding/replacing a skyscraper would be a bit more expensive in the long run, not to mention threaten his other non-Avenger employees? Or should I stop asking questions…
Actually, this began its life as “Top 5 Times They Blew Up the X-Mansion,” but I just plum couldn’t find enough good stuff to use. Top 5s are a great exercise for challenging your assumptions. Nothing like trying to come up with the top five times Jean Grey has died to make you realize you owe some writers an apology.
@Jimski You could’ve used the Teen Titans #1 reference for the list;
@Jimski: Does it have to be “completely” leveled or destroyed? Because there was one point where Corsair and an alien invasion trash the mansion while the X-Men are rebuilding from the last time it got trashed (by the Brotherhood, I think). Which wasn’t terribly long after Kitty let a Z’Nok trash the place before burning it and the hanger with the Blackbird’s afterburner. And this is over the course of just two Essentials volumes, which is about a three/four year stretch of stories. But if your criteria is “completely” leveled or destroyed, ok, not so much.
I love all of those words you used to be so surprised. Although you did forget to put in “What’s this?” in there, a staple of people being bewildered in comedy.
Wasn’t the moment in WWH a reference to 9/11? I remember some type of minor controversy about it because Romita Jr. draws the building collapsing a little bit like how the towers fell. Well obviously no one would do that type of stunt again….
Except for a future Avengers issue with Acuna referencing piles of bodies from 9/11….Ah artists.
It’s a good thing Jason Aaron seems to be rebuilding the Westchester manor in Wolverine and the X-Men. That way the two Avengers bases don’t have to be the only two marvel bases being repeatedly destroyed in the NY tri-state area..
I think it just rains money in the Marvel Universe. Come to think of it, probably in the DC Universe too.
For those of you, who, like me, make the mistake of always reading G.I. Joe – the Pit has been destroyed about four times, with Storm Shadow and Zartan running amok in it a few more times than that.
Not that often. Ft. Wadsworth was taken out once, maybe twice (a bomb, I think), the Utah base attacked towards the end of the Marvel run. The poor quonset huts though…
Why don’t they move the tower to Secaucus NJ? At least that way people will stop getting hurt by constantly falling sky scraper and mansion debris. They all fly and have trans dimensional portals anyways.
“–And I’ve been referred to you by almost every one of my investors. I’m kind of in a jam here, and I don’t usually handle insurance matters personally, but no one else can seem to….Uh huh…Tony Stark, that’s right. No no, actually, it’s for the Aven–”
Click.
“Hello…?”
;p
i love the list ,made me laugh out loud for real.one things for sure if you read comics long enough you will see a lot of the same thing over and over.
Boy, this would make for a good “Mayhem”” commercial for Allstate.
They could have him dressed up like Ms. Marvel.
“Mayhem – in the form of one of your teammates – is coming. Are you in good hands?”
Well then, this raises the obvious question. Which has Bendis blown up more, Avengers HQ or the SHIELD helicarrier? Either way, we know for sure that Bendis sure likes to blow shit up.
not only are nos. 5, 4, 3, and 1 written by Bendis, 5 and 2 are both drawn by JRJR.
I believe New Avengers Annual was meta-commentary. “It’s your fault comics suck you nerd-raging asshole.”