Last week I told you about the Top Five Super Powers I Don't Want. This week, I'm flipping it around!
I'm sure that at one point or another, we have fantasized about having abilities or talents beyond that which we are gifted with naturally. Be it something attainably human as having artistic talent, or daydreaming about being Superman and saving damsels in distress. I have always entertained myself for hours with an overactive imagination – the way I used to fall asleep as a child was to spin stories about what it would be like if I were thrust into fantasy worlds, from comic books to video games to literature. From this came a familiarity of what I would BE if I were a "super hero" (or a super villian!). If I lived in a world where X-Men-esque evolutionary mutation was a possibility, there are at least five powers I would be quite content to have. Here are the Top Five Super Powers I Do Want:
Shapeshifting
I think that in a way, it is human nature to not be happy with who we are. We are always wishing we were other people. We wish we had their lives, their talents, their looks, their wives, their cars. It is a certain form of self improvement to want what we cannot necessarily control or have. But what if you COULD look like the super model from the cover of Vogue?
This is the super "power" that has always appealed to me above all others – perhaps it is because I feel that there is a duality in my personality that cannot be represented merely by who I am at all times. I would love to lead several different lives as different people: Molly the runway model, Molly the soccer mom, Molly the dorky comic book nerd… MAN! How liberating (and easy!) would it be to wake up in the morning and decide you don't like your hair colour, and instantly change it. I've spent hours staring at my ceiling (usually while I am procrastinating on writing articles), wishing I had this power.
Weather Control
Also known as "the power to permanently stave off/bring on global warming", "the power that annoys the piss out of your next door neighbors", "the power that all snowbirds in Florida despise", "the power to cure seasonal depression in Seattle", etc., etc. Picture this: you walk out the front door on a December and are greeted with snowfall. However, that day you are just too annoyed with clothes to wear a giant jacket. So instead, you call forth sunny, balmy 75 degree weather, and walk to the comic shop in your sandals with a jaunt in your step as the local news program loudly proclaims "WTF".
Technically, you would be the most popular person in the world. Celebrities would probably pay you insane amounts of money to control the weather at their super exclusive barbeque, or to make sure the seas didn't go bonkers when they were having a swanky yacht party. Your friends would bring you with them to every bar and buy you infinite drinks as long as you made it stop raining when they went out for a cigarette. The government would hire you to end droughts in every city, and you could call forth sudden mysterious gusts of wind to blow up girl's skirts.
Teleportation
Teleportation is the fast food of super powers. Instant gratificiation GO! But really, as a world traveler, being able to teleport would be a dream come true… granted only if there were not limitations on where you could teleport. (I only say this because poor Nightcrawler can only teleport up to two miles. That seems like a bummer on an otherwise awesome mutation.) I could be sitting playing video games one evening, when suddenly the urge for Japanese food would hit me. Instead of walking down the street to the store, I'd teleport from my couch to the streets of Tokyo, slurp down some Udon, and return home ready to continue from my last save point.
Think of the conveniences of having the ability to teleport: you'd never have to sleep on airport floors again. You could creepily watch your crush sleep without them knowing. Long distance relationships would become a myth. You could check into foursquare in every country. You could wake up five minutes before you had to be somewhere. And the most appealing to me: one could attend every comic book and anime convention they ever wanted.
Time Travel
Perhaps it can be argued that time travel is not possible (so says physics and scientists, but this is a whole other article in and of itself that Ryan should probably write), but if super powers were to exist in the world i'm quite certain scientific theory might not have as much clout.
Time traveling would mean never having to say you're sorry. You'd be able to stop that food poisoning in its tracks, not sleep with that one person who started stalking you for months afterwards, and you would always have a clever comeback. Not to mention, as a history buff, this super power seems pretty exceptional. I've always thought that Einstein and I would be great pals. I've felt the insatiable need to ride Napoleon's horse Marengo, and I'd love to meet my mother when she was a hippie teenager.
"Warnings" about affecting the past be damned: I will ride a dinosaur if I damn well please, thank you very much.
Telepathy
The possibilities with telepathy are endless: Suddenly, that awkward moment of "should I kiss her/him" wouldn't be so difficult to deal with. You could know everyone's deepest and darkest secrets without those long, tearful conversations. You'd be a kick ass chess player and a national security threat.
Although telepathy may be a bit of a double edged sword – perhaps all you would want in life is some peace and quiet – it would still be pretty enteraining to see what the person walking past you on the street was thinking about (I'd bet that nine out of ten times, it was about sex).
Obviously, these are the top five most awesome kick ass powers I would want. But I think if super powers really DID exist, I would settle for just about anything – like being able to eat anything and not get fat, or the ability to unsee things that have been seen.
Molly McIsaac points her camera at everything, rides unicorns, and enjoys fictional characters with green hair. You can stalk her to your heart's content on Twitter, where she talks about her various misadventures.
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Those would all be fun powers, but I’d be fearful of telepathy b-c at first you’d probably have a pretty bad migraine and insomnia.
@vadamowens I agree. I think Telepathy is more of a curse. You would probably be alone throughout life because; 1.) anyone who knew of your ability would probably not trust you or feel comfortable around you. 2.) you would probably become very judgemental about others, learning all their secrets and private thoughts.
Haha I think although as a traveler myself, transportation would rock but I think I’d gain tremendous weight being so. I’d never walk anywhere I’d never do anything. Almost just like in Jumper, porting from one end of the couch to the other just to reach the remote… I’d be that asshole 🙂
However, telepathy and telekinesis have my heart. Ohhh the chaos I’d bring <3
Great article, Molly!
Like I said in your last arrticle shapeshifting is the #1 superpower I want. So many different things you can do as a shapeshifter.
I want telekenesis. Just imagine, you would never have to get up to get the remote control again!
HELLO! Invisiblity how did that not make the list.
I would trade superspeed for time travel. You can do more with it, and according to flash comics, time travel goes anyway
Superspeed would be pretty sweet; you could eat everything you want and never worry because you have a super fast metabolism!
I would mind having the Luck power that Longshot has. Sweet! A billion gallons of oil under my house!
Time Travel, Telepathy, and Teleportation would all scare the shit out of me.
Powers schmowers. I just want Kang’s invisible bean bag chair.
How about the ability to project into other people’s minds the actual moment of their future death? I saw this in that awesome show "Taken". This power would traumitze the hell out of one’s enemies. It’s creepy even thinking about it. Nevermind, I’ll just settle for the ability to fly.
I would want the power of Aviax. He could transform into any kind of bird he wanted. If you’re not familiar with Aviax then I suggest you read #4 of this article I found on Cracked.com.
http://www.cracked.com/article_17626_the-5-creepiest-sex-scenes-in-comics.html
http://www.cracked.com/article_17626_the-5-creepiest-sex-scenes-in-comics.html
I would love to Time Travel, power or not. Always been a dream of mind to somehow get it to happen.
I’d go back to the 1990’s and convince myself to work out on a damn treadmill……Or meet celebrities…
As a girl painfully afflicted with the curse of vanity, I have to say, yeah. Shapeshifting would be pretty rad. In general, the basic superpower suite would set you up with strength and endurance and a smokin’ bod that takes no effort to maintain, plus a high metabolism that would allow you to eat anything you like…but still, you could be one of the unfortunate metas whose powers manifest as a monstrous physical form you’re then stuck with, so once again, yeah. Shapeshifting trumps.
Growing up, all I ever wanted to be was Multi Man – I still don’t know why…
http://www.vegalleries.com/hbopc/0137imp14.jpg
@Cedric & @LadyTartan: Superspeed would be my #2 and for #3 I’d go with the ability to multiply. Between multiplicity and superspeed there wouldn’t be anything I couldn’t do.
instead of simple time travel i’d rather have full on time manipulation. Slow down, speed up, stop, travel through. Of course i’d use my powers for evil as would just about every other person. =)
I’d take
Critical thinking
Persuasive writing
Photographic memory
Oratory skills
Charisma
Not, ah, Marvel biased at all 🙂
Definitely Teleportation!!
Lunch breaks in Aruba, weekends in Paris, Christmas in Egypt!(the movie Jumper comes to mind)
Not to mention midnight withdrawls from various bank safes!!
i would not ever ever ever want to date a telepath. i would love to have the power to phase/intangiable. walking the streets on ny would be so easy and you could always screw up the phones of those people who talk loud on them 🙂
Magik’s teleportation is better than Nightcrawler’s teleportation.
Shapeshifting would be awesome, though.
shapeshifting is useless in crimefighting. HEY LOOK I CAN TURN INTO A DIFFERNT TARGET
yeah they would all be cool powers
Stretchy body parts….self-explanatory.
Wolverine’s claws, healing factor, and agelessness would be cool.
Super speed would help my wanderlust. It would be nice to have Samosas, Baba Ganoush, and Mongolian grill…authentic in the same day.
i always wanted the power of Heart like that pointless little loser out of Captain Planet
I won’t be greedy I don’t need 5. I just want the ability to bend all of reality to my whim.
Marvel Statue, Marvel Statues, marvel statues, mistique, Mistique, Marvel Figure, Marvel Figures, marvel figures, marvel figure
Teleportation: the book "jumper" had alot to do with why and how I might use this power, it’s very realistic in terms of someone getting this power and how they might go about being a superhero. This is NOT like the movie one bit, just like how WANTED the comic isnt WANTED the movie.
Invisibility: OH COME ON! Like you wouldn’t want to disappear every now and again. Whether it’s hiding from that bully who picked on you from time to time at middle school, spying on your corporate rivals or someone who you might find suspicious it is almost a guarantee that everyone might find use of this power at some point in their lives.
Multiplicity: (see also: "Naruto – Kage Bunshin", "The Keaton" and "Madrox Syndrome") Yeah like you never wanted to be at multiple places at once, having copies of yourself, achieving multiple tasks in synchronicity. They certainly come with perks such as knowing you never have to go to school, simply being content at working $8.00/hr in multiple positions in multiple fastfood chains and making a fortune. Perhaps even offer your copies to Uncle Sam to fight his wars for him, for a large fee of course. At the end of the day the possibilities for this ability are limitless.
Hyper Empathy: (see also: Animal Man) I would love to collect animal dna in my pocket. This ability is inherently a problem solver. You could be an advocate for everyone since you inherently have the ability to "understand them" and "know how they feel". While Animal Man’s powers may not always work in that sense, they certainly do when it matters. Guys, this is a definite chick magnet and it has the potential to achieve world peace.
Superspeed: God bless Tom Katers for his podcast The Flash’s use of this ability trumps all of the above. Life would be so much more exciting with this ability.
@MollyMcIsaac: What if you traveled back and did that, you might make the dinosaur step on a butterfly that’ll make Nixon president forever like in Watchmen or another psycho like in Bradbury’s A Sound of Thunder? Then geniuses would be seen as insane and perhaps would be institutionalized like with the mentally ill like in Harrison Bergeron.
I also figure Telepathy to work like Twitter. One at a time is fine but if you suddenly have more than one follower, you lose track of shit people say.