Disney’s Secret Plan To Destroy Comics And This Article

What is WITH this thing?

What is WITH this thing?

I got screwed by Mickey Mouse, and I didn’t even get a lousy t-shirt.

The plan was simple. Foolproof, I thought. I needed to write about some breaking comic book news in time to publish my regular column. In the days leading up to the publication of said column, however, I was (hopefully) not going to be paying any attention to breaking comic book news, or even putting my hands on a comic book. For seven days, I was going to be in the Happiest Place On Earth, Except Maybe For The Other Place In California Which We Also Call By That Nickname, So I Guess The Place That’s Tied For Happiest. I was taking a leisurely seventeen-hour minivan ride with a couple of kids down to Walt Disney World to unwind.

A-ha, though! A-ha. For nigh on four years now, unbelievably, the people who own Walt Disney World have also been running a little artistes’ salon by the name of Marvel Comics. An east coast concern; perhaps you’ve heard of it. Once I realized the connection, I was set. While I was in Orlando, I just needed to do a little window shopping, do a little people watching, and dash off an update about how expertly the marketing gigolos geniuses at Disney have welcomed their adopted children into the cash-generating fold. Presto typo, I come home with a nice little article tucked into my iPad, secure in the knowledge that I could now legitimately invoice Josh Flanagan for my vacation as a business expense.

I mean, sure, Marvel made that deal with Universal Studios years ago stipulating that only Universal could use the actual heroes in a Florida theme park. I knew the kids weren’t going to get Doctor Doom’s autograph or ride the Captain Americoaster or what-hast-thou. But… come on. Marvel’s The Avengers was the #3 money-makingest movie in the history of paper currency, and that was Disney’s baby. There’s an Iron Man movie coming out in like two weeks. Disney, as an entity, is incapable of leaving money on the table. They have a guy in scuba gear on standby in Epcot on the off chance someone throws a dime in the fountain. The park would be filled with action figures, Hulk hands, and enough trinkets and gewgaws to fill a decade of Christmas stockings.

Right?

That would be your assumption too, wouldn’t it? If you grew up in the Western world? Like, when you think of Disney, you picture an editorial cartoon where a Mickey Mouse with dollar signs for eyes has unhinged his jaw like a snake and is trying to swallow the earth whole, right? Just me?

Anyway, they didn’t have a goddamned thing. Inconsiderate.

I still cannot believe it. I almost want to lie about it, like I’m embarrassed and covering for them. You understand, this company–these are the people–okay. Have you ever heard of Song of the South? It’s a Disney movie from 1946 where a jolly old black sharecropper named Uncle Remus tells the white kids who live on the plantation he… works at a bunch of colorful animated stories about Br’er Rabbit. It is an eye-bugging look at what your grandfather thought wasn’t racist somehow, and I know this because Disney was still re-releasing it when I was a kid, because there were still five dollars in America that they didn’t have yet. I still have the record album around here somewhere. There is a ride operating at Walt Disney World right now, and not an old ride, about the adventures of Br’er Rabbit. They could have made this ride about any little bear or cat or whoever. It could be the Rescuers’ Splash Mountain. But Br’er Rabbit is a property they can leverage, and they will be damned if they will slide him onto a shelf to quietly gather dust over some silly little thing like an inextricable connection to institutional racism.

Yet: not so much as a Thor doll on the premises. It beggars belief.

After the first couple of days, I thought I was going to be okay. I saw a monorail cruise by decked out in full red and gold Stark Industries regalia from engine to caboose, promoting the new movie, and I thought, “See, now, there we go. Synergy from the people who invented it. I just haven’t seen enough of the parks yet.”

Then five more days went by.

The bookstore next to the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater didn’t have any comics in it. Star Wars novels, sure; Muppet books, absolutely. A biography of George Clooney for some reason. But how do you own a comic book company and not stock comic books in your bookstore? At a theme park for children?

Meanwhile, there is this thing called “Stitch” that was in a movie like ten years ago that I have not seen or heard a word about since–and this is in a house full of preschoolers, mind you–and to walk around Disney World you would think it was Bieber in an Elvis skin suit. It is everywhere. They are trying to make Stitch happen. Spider-Man, you couldn’t find on-site with a spy satellite.

I’m telling you, it’s weird.

BIF! POW! THIS WAS IT!

BIF! POW! THIS WAS IT!

No Muppet comics in the Muppet shop? No Toy Story or Cars comics at their attractions? No Don Rosa anything anywhere? It seemed mind-boggling that a company so versed in the craft of exploitation that they could turn a dimly lit diorama into a billion-dollar Johnny Depp franchise could have such a treasure trove and bungle it so badly… unless it was on purpose. Like Nicolas Cage in National Treasure, this landmark was hiding a multilevel conspiracy, a plot by Disney to buy every property I was interested in and slowly erase them from the global marketplace until nothing was left. Nothing but Phineas, Ferb, and Stitch. I was through the looking glass.

Or the Universal deal limits what they can sell. I don’t know. I’m not a lawyer.

Either way, I was surprised and embarrassed by how quickly I transformed into the fretful fanboy, however slightly. After all the successes and exciting plans that have rolled out since the Disney purchase, I had a hard time finding an X-Men poster for a couple days and immediately started wondering, “What if they’re not taking care of this thing I love? What if the end is near?” Ridiculous, but what can I say? Old habits die hard. When I finally did stumble upon a shelf of merchandise–one shelf in the entire park–I bought a hat, just to be on the safe side.

 


Jim Mroczkowski was so delighted to have missed the Saga saga, he could almost write a column about how glad he was not to have to write that column.

Comments

  1. I would pay good money for Stitch as any Star Wars character and I don’t care what anyone thinks.

  2. DisneyLand is the happiest place on Earth. WDW is where dreams come true. You people.

  3. The Universal theme park, Islands of Adventure, which is just down the road from WDW has a Marvel themed zone and their shops sell comics. NBC Universal still has some strict Licensing agreements concerning Marvel Super Heroes and their presence in East coast theme parks from back when Disney didn’t own Marvel. But yeah, you’re right, a globally famous worldwide entertainment company is not as clever as you, and obviously no one cares about Stitch just because you don’t. What a great article.

  4. I was there two weeks ago and only place I saw Marvel stuff was at downtown Disney so I’m thinking its the Universal deal. Plus most people probably don’t know Disney owns it so they may question why they are selling Marvel when the Marvel park is in Islands of Adventure.

  5. The Disney stores around here are full of Marvel merch. The Captain America mug on my desk holding all my pens was obtained at a Disney store. Must just be the deal with Universal.

    • Do they sell comic books though? The Disney Store closest to me didn’t have any comics when I went in about six months ago.

      That seems to be the biggest problem to me. Disney is one of the most powerful companies in the world, they could make comic books a thing again just by selling them in Disney Stores or at their theme parks, they could create a new generation of comic book readers just by marketing the comics a bit and having them available in their stores.

      I don’t think the sky is falling by any means, in fact it’s the opposite, it seems to me that comics are on the cusp of becoming (somewhat) mainstream again, if only Disney or Warner Brothers would try a little.

    • @Levihunt15, maybe if the comics could be made from Chinese workers or some other cheap labor Disney would jump on it?

    • They don’t have any comics, but I don’t recall them selling any books at all, so it doesn’t strike me as odd.

    • Our store has a very limited quantity of Marvel merch, and with a few exceptions (like movie tie ins and a Flash Thompson Venom figure) very dated stuff at that. No Marvel books though, but they do have some of the oversized Golden Books for Cars 2 and Monsters, Inc. I would think the other Disney related Golden Books (like Marvel and the Disney characters) would be no-brainers, but then our Disney story is kind of narrow and small.

    • I got me a Flash Thompson Venom Marvel Select figure at a Disney Store. They have Disney Store exclusive figures now. Which means they’ll get my money.

    • Are you guys really complaining that Disney Stores don’t sell comics? Would you really go to a Disney Store just to but Marvel comics instead of your own local comic shop? Come on, people.

  6. I had a conversation yesterday with a friend, he was PISSED that Disney canceled “SW:Battlefront 3” when it was so close to being finished (he did a mini flip-out when I mentioned the Clone Wars series got canceled too). Disney will be pushing Stars Wars so hard and so fast soon it will be like Order 67 came thru or something, they squeeze every penny they can. One of teachers told be not long ago they sue every chance they get if someone uses their trademarks without permission, nuff said. It doesn’t surprise me if they don’t take care of Marvel (they probably just wanted it for the movie properties), but of course they’re gonna push the old stuff first. Marvel must be secure in their eyes, but Sitich? People are forgetting him, and they must be reminded to give Disney their money for the little blue alien (noticing how LILO got shafted out of that revival).

  7. During Christmas I went to the Galleria in Houston which is the biggest mall in Texas or at least it was a few years ago. Anyway I stopped by the Disney and lo and behold they had one section full of Marvel stuff. Mostly the stuff you’d expect, mugs, t-shirts, hulk hands, a cap shield that lights up but off in the corner of the action figure shelf there was literally a lone Ronin. Who is this for? I liked Ronin in the 616 and the ultimate universe and even I’m not paying 12 bucks for that.

  8. All-in-all, Disney is a giant slow-moving “hive”, I’m certain they are still and continuously debating where and how Marvel fits in with Cinderella and Snow White. They’ve been running with Star Wars and Indiana Jones for years, so that’s already been pretty much laid out to a considerable degree and, regardless, they’ve all but isolated them to Hollywood Studios.

    I wouldn’t hold out too much hope that Disney would have periodicals (comic books) on the premises of the parks.

    Theoretically, they could have trade paperbacks, but even that is questionable.

    • Firstly, you could not have monthly books which contained advertising as this runs against the notion that Disney World is an escape from the real world. Just as you won’t find any magazines and newspapers on the premises either. It’s also common sense that these magazines would not be able to withstand the foot traffic of patrons of the park dog-earing corners, etc.

    • Much of Marvel content is T+ (and beyond) and not fully adhere to the expected “Rated G” nature of the park. We can debate as to how “Rated G” Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion is, but those rides and franchises were pushed by Walt himself and there isn’t any “fan fiction” for those in the park neither.

    • If you shopped in Downtown Disney’s “Once Upon A Toy” there’s lots of Marvel merch there if you’re so inclined, but still lacking are graphic novels, etc.

    • Oh, I went to “Once Upon a Toy,” my fine fellow. I audited “Once Upon a Toy.” That was during my most desperate hour.

    • There are most definitely magazines and newspapers in Disney World. Also, there are plenty of attractions that are no more “G-rated” than your average Marvel comic. It would seem the reason there is no Marvel merchandise is because of the deal with Universal and nothing else.

    • If they were going to release comic books into Disney environments they would have to be special made-to-order pre-approved childrens material (ala the animated series tie ins). Your average comic book is not kid friendly anymore and if any particular issue somehow is, the one following probably won’t be. Disney would have to set up a new comic censor division to avoid any potential scandals. Or they’d just censor from the top and the product you receive at your LCS would quickly start turning Disney.

      Would you accept the Disney-fication of your monthly comics if it meant getting sales in Disneyland? I don’t think many LCS readers would.

      Maybe Silver Age collections?

  9. I live in Orlando and work in a comic book store around the theme parks. Until Universal’s contract with Marvel is complete you will not be seeing any Marvel merchandise in full force at Disney parks. From what we hear at the shop from the people that work in the theme parks, Disney is not allowed to have anything Marvel in there theme parks. That is why the monorail with the Marvel characters only goes to Magic Kingdom. The monorail for EPOCT actual goes onto EPCOT property and there for can not have anything Marvel on it. However, it has already been announced that Disney Land in Hong Kong is getting a Marvel park. The people that are in charge of designing the rides based on Marvel comics come into our store for material all the time. Just because you don’t see anything now doesn’t mean there aren’t plans in the works for this stuff to become more prevalent. Truthfully, at this point, its a waiting game to see when Universal’s contract is finished.

    • There is no Marvel park coming. You’re being put over. Furthermore, Imagineering isn’t located in Orlando, so I highly doubt the designers of a Marvel attraction would be taking a five hour plane ride to buy comics at your store.

  10. Avatar photo webhead921 (@Grapes4Lunch) says:

    I haven’t been to Disney World or Land in a few years, but the Disney Store closest to me has a huge selection of Marvel merchandise (including Marvel Select and Marvel Universe figures). They actually have more Marvel action figures there than I’ve seen at any other nearby toy or comic shop.

    • I went to the Disney Store here in NYC (times sq.) and I was shocked to see a little Marvel nook with some statues ,figures,shirts and even Hardcover’s (Death of Phoenix)!!

  11. Ah, but…

    An article about how weird it is that Disney DOESN’T sell comics/Marvel stuff at their theme park is so much better.

  12. I thought the EXACT same thing as I went with my family to Orlando this past Feb. I was Amazed at how much merchandise properties they own & was in full force at all the parks.
    Muppets, Star Wars, Jurrasic Park, Nightmare before christmas(never knew it was Disney property!). At Epcot in Japan I was AMAZED to see the variety of manga toys & characters, Dragon ball Z, Hello kitty, Sgt. Frog,
    Legoland store!?
    Very limited Marvel stuff(maybe a Tshirt or mug,keychain). I soo wanted to go nuts on Marvel merch. but it wasn’t anything spectacular

  13. Accoding to CHUD.com Disneyland has an Iron Man 3 display, so it must be an East Coast licensing thing with Universal stopping Disney World from cashing in.
    http://www.chud.com/132502/check-out-the-new-iron-man-3-stark-industries-exhibit-at-disneyland/

  14. Jim, four years ago, shortly after Disney originally purchased Marvel, there was indeed A LARGE PRESENCE OF MARVEL PRODUCTS: two dozen t-shirt designs for men, women and children, masks, action figures large and small, key chains and a slew of trades, hardcovers and single issues…

    in two stores: I found the first slice of heaven at Disney’s Hollywood Studios in the Villains’ shop. (I worked backstage at the Animation building, so I could run over whenever) I stepped in and found that they had completely converted the store into all Marvel. The second location was at Downtown Disney where today, there is still a trade/figures presence at Once Upon a Toy.

    It was great. Bought a few books now and then (great that I got a cool discount). They obviously didn’t have every single, but they had a good portion. Again, some for adults and some for kids. Now that I recall, the first time I went, a guy came up and was looking at books. His comment, “I didn’t know they still made these.”

    But as weeks went by, I noticed things slowly disappearing. A spinning rack of action figures became a spinning rack of Disney pins. The two dozen t-shirt styles changed to one, then the infant stuff went away. WIthin 6-8 months, the only presence was that shelf of trades and hcs, plus the display boxes of singles. Year and a half later, all gone. Only the books and figures at Downtown Disney now. During the heyday, I asked a shop Cast Member about a particular book, and she said I could ask their vendor who supplied the books. All the shop did was order a variety of stuff, and yes, like a lot of general specialty stores, they watched what people bought, what they ignored. They studied their sales and responded as any corporate sales people do. Cut their losses. Tourists go to Disney to buy Disney souvenirs. Mickey’s keychains, not Wolverine’s.

    At Disney Stores, they can reach a wide, general audience (plus the movie crowds), thus the decent presence there. But you probably will never find a shop like those at Islands of Adventure or even the Disney Villains Shop within a theme park again. Unless they build a land or attraction. Sad, but true.

  15. I dunno. It seems kind of whiney and self entitled to ask for things just because you are aware of those thing and are steeped in the culture.

    I understand your dismay at seeing a giant company not utilizing something under their umbrella that would be sure to rake in the money. Not everything tho, can be catered to you just because you want, or nay EXPECT to see it. Maybe the bean counters at Disney didn’t think renovating half their park to accommodate a handful of people who would appreciate their rides made a whole lot of fiscal sense.

    It just seems to stink of this self indulgent, entitled culture that seems to be ignorant of greater things going on.

  16. Song of the South is not a racist movie. People of all races and creeds need to learn to laugh at themselves every once in a while. This politically correct country would be sooooooo much better off if they did.

  17. I was also at WDW last week and i found Marvel Adventure books at Once Upon a Toy. They had a bunch of Marvel movie stuff there.

  18. As both a lifelong Disney fan and currently employee, I feel the need to clue you in on a few things. Authors typically write about what they know. You obviously know comics; you obviously don’t know Disney, however.

    1) There are many regulations in the Marvel contract between Disney and Universal preventing Disney from having Marvel in the parks. This is not the case on the west coast.

    2) Disney’s acquisition of Marvel was merely a very smart business decision that has proved lucrative for both parties involved. Just as Marvel fans did not want Disney to interfere with Marvel comics, the majority of Disney fans do not want Marvel to interfere with Disney, this includes an abundance of Marvel in the parks.

    3) Disney is not just for children. You completely missed the point, as many jaded adults do.

    4) Song Of The South is not racist. In fact, it was highly touted by many African American film critics who praised Walt for telling the right kind of story. In addition, James Baskett received an honorary Academy Award at a time when Oscars were not given to African Americans, making him the first black man to ever receive one.