I have no doubt that in the relatively near future, some grad student somewhere will write a dissertation on one of two things:

1. The work of Grant Morrison in general. Perhaps you could call it his "canon", but then you'd have to account for "Seaguy" somehow, and I'm not quite sure how you'd go about doing that. This is why it might be better to focus on a specific work of Morrison's, leading me to number 2 (see below).

2. This hypothetical fully-scholarshipped fool will choose to write more than 100 pages or so of academic, convoluted babble about "Final Crisis" and defend it to a committee of professors who have no idea what is being said or argued, because:

In my humble opinion, there is very little about Final Crisis that makes any sense whatsoever (or maybe I'm not smart enough to understand it).

But all of the above could simultaneously confuse the reader of this review (should there ever be one) while at the same time leading to the explanation of why I chose Final Crisis #7 as my Pick of the Week:

Some comics don't need to make a lick of sense in order to be completely awesome. Final Crisis #7 somehow manages to pull this off. It's as if someone has spoken some piece of profound wisdom to me in gibberish, and not only do I understand every single word, but I am completely transformed by it. This issue was fantastic for the same reason that monkeys are hilarious. Neither of these things should ever be explained, and should we attempt to do so, they will both lose their meaning.

A few stray thoughts:

-Morrison has created a DC Universe event so "meta" that in all likelihood, it can never even have any kind of real impact on the ongoing migraine headache that is DC's continuity. Is this a good thing? Who the hell knows? All I know is that it was a whole lot more entertaining to read than "Zero Hour: Crisis in Time".

-Grantie clearly loves Superman a lot. Maybe too much.

-At the end of the day, I can only imagine that the Final Crisis was actually for the sanity of whoever the hell had to edit this thing...um, Adam Schlagman and Eddie Berganza? I feel for you, and may God have mercy on any interns you might have.

-It occurs to me that I would kind of love to see Tyler Perry's take on "Final Crisis."

Finally: nevertheless, awesome. If only for the reason that Darkseid inhabits the body of a chubby, retired cop, and by issue #7, the "God of Evil" is still pretty noticeably out of shape. R.I.P. Dan Turpin. Enjoy your gold watch. 

(I bet Bibbo would have been able to resist the Anti-Life Equation.)

Also, based on comments I've received, I'd say to ignore my ratings. I'm horrible with numbers. Let my review explain my feelings, not your silly integers!