Top 5: Worst Sons and Daughters of Superheroes

Super Sons5) Superman Jr. and Batman Jr., Sons of Superman and Batman

Starting off this superhero brat pack is the superhero two-fer, the Super-Sons — Superman Jr. and Batman Jr.! Created by Bob Haney and dick Dillin way back in World’s Finest Comics #215 from 1973, these teenage rebels were the spitting images of their fathers — with their mothers nowhere to be found. Striking up a unique camaraderie due to their father’s line of work, this pair were intended to live out the rebellious spirit of teenagers in the early 70s and spoke an impetuous slang ripped straight from the mouths of teenagers in movies and television of the time. Although ultimately revealed to be computer simulations, these two cut quite a swath in their limited stories.

 

Equinox4) Equinox, Son of Power Girl

Power Girl may not seem like the motherly type, but back in DC’s 1994 crossover Zero Hour she had a magical-tinged birth thanks to the Atlantean wizard Arion and brought forth a kid named Equinox. After birth he rapidly aged to adulthood and was spirited away to another dimension, only to return shortly after to kill a Legend-esque demon and never be heard from again. Man, I would have loved to see Jimmy Palmiotti, Justin Gray and Amanda Conner tackle the memories of that in their Power Girl series.

 

Daken3) Daken, Son of Wolverine

When Wolverine became popular in the late 70s, his slightly askew heroic ways led to an onslaught of other “anti-heroes” taking a more bloodthirsty approach to being a do-gooder. So what happens when Wolverine has a kid of his own? Craziness. Born out of a hereto unrevealed marriage Wolverine had in post-World War 2 Japan, Daken was everything his father was but in a very bad, bad way.

 

Lord Chaos2) Lord Chaos, Son of Donna Troy

“Power corrupts, and absolute power absolutely corrupts.” When you’re a kid born with the full powers of a god, you know there’s going to be some issues; imagine the “Terrible Twos” with those kind of powers. In the early 90s, we met Lord Chaos by his birth-name, Robert Long, as he’s born to Donna Troy and Terry Long. Receiving those god-like powers at birth, it drives Robert to push his age up to adulthood, kill his mother and take on the moniker of Lord Chaos and rule the world. His rule was so tyrannical that a group of teen superheroes hatch a plot to go back in time to kill his mother before he’s born. They don’t succeed, but due to some time travel chicanery the infant is stripped of his powers and prevented from achieving his dark destiny. Wearing hand-me-downs from his mother wasn’t the best fashion choice, by the way.

 

Legion1) Legion, Son of Professor X

He may be the star of the current series X-Men: Legacy and a de facto hero at this point, but for this longtime X-Men fan I can never forgive this multiple personality-ridden son of Professor X born David Haller. Born out of a tryst between Xavier and a patient of his when he worked as a counselor in an Israeli mental hospital, Haller’s powers manifested after the young mutant was the only survivor of a deadly terrorist attack. Taken under the wing of another Xavier ex Moira MacTaggert, Haller tried to control his powers but found his mind ultimately splintered into dozens of unique personalities, each with their own superpower. In his various outbursts he’s killed everyone from the time-cognitive mutant Destiny, his father Professor X, and a host of other people both mutant and not.

 

Comments

  1. Legion is a character I can’t stand. Just annoys the hell out of me!

    • Completely agree. Can’t understand the fascination writers have for this character. I was so disappointed to find out he was the first villain in the New Mutants relaunched series a few years ago.

  2. Apparently for Batman Jr., running his own life means wearing really terrible pants.

  3. You know what I noticed about this list (aside from #5)? All of them were ret-cons (most of which lead to OTHER ret-cons!). Wait, maybe Equinox doesn’t count as a ret-con. Well, its true of the rest of them. Why is it so hard for comic-book characters to have kids? And when they do they “magically” grow older to preteen,teen, or adulthood. Weird.

    Although I kind of like Daken. Evil Wolverine? Bit of a gem in there I think…

    • An unmined gem, at best. Potential? Maybe. Squandered? Absolutely.

      His third claw comes from the inside of his wrist! Genius!! He’s got pheremone powers that make the ladies (and the gentlemen) go wild! Innovation!!

      The problem with an evil version of Wolverine is that he already straddles the line between man and killing machine on a daily basis. Evil counterparts work best with inherently, undeniably good characters (Superman, Cap, Spidey, etc.). When you expect your audience to care about an evil version of an already morally ambiguous character, it becomes an obvious gimmick. Especially when the result was as poorly executed as Daken’s story.

    • I never saw Daken as “evil”; self-interested, yes, but not out looking to cause harm. I could be wrong about that. I agree with others that he had potential as a character that was never fully developed. So it goes.

    • In UXF, he attempts to found a new Brotherhood and raise Kid Apocalypse for his own agenda. I’d say that qualifies as “looking to cause harm”.

    • I liked the IDEA of Daken. He definitely had some potential that was never used… Could be revived one day, though…

    • @Wheelhands, I never read Uncanny X-Force, or any of his appearances post-Siege. Founding a new Brotherhood, and fooling with anyone named Kid Apocalypse definitely counts on the more villainous side of the ledger . . .

    • Daken Akihiro is indeed an awesome character who was totally squandered. I didn’t care for the direction Marvel went with his (Dark) Wolverine title series, but I did love him back in Norman Osborn’s Dark Avengers – especially when he was caught on video screaming at that old lady and calling her a bitch while he was trying to save a baby. LOL

  4. God, I hated Daken. His time as the lead character in the solo Wolverine title was the first time I dropped that book in almost 20 years. Rick Remender has my eternal gratitude for ending that nightmare.

    Also, Equinox and Lord Chaos are laugh out loud fantastic. Just dripping with 90’s goo. I love it.

  5. I still hate Legion for ruining the X-Men books for me in the mid 90’s.

  6. I don’t think Daken deserves to be on this list. He was especially great in Dark Avengers.

  7. Surely number 1 ought to be Ms Marvel’s kid Marcus? No?

  8. What’s the criterion that they’re villains or that they’re terrible characters? Cause if it villains I’d throw in Roulette (daughter of Mr. Terrific I) but her character is actually awesome.

    • Yeah it seems to be just bad characters.

      And are they only the children of heroes? What about Kid Boomerang or Joker’s Daughter?

  9. How is Cable not not on this list?

  10. I vote for Luke Cage and Jessica Jones baby Danielle. She is a baby. Cries all the time, poops all the time, interrupts sexy time by not napping. Costs TONS OF MONEY. They have to constantly get a baby sitter for her. She is put in peril all the time and is a constant distraction from them doing their job, aka saving the world.
    I have a 2 year old so I may be working out some issues of my own here. 🙂

  11. No mention of the Flash kids? Seems like a miss.

  12. My God was Equinox terrible. He absolutely ruined Power Girl as a character for half a decade until Geoff Johns brought her back in the pages of JSA. Terrible, terrible stuff.

  13. We’re the Super-Sons named Hank and Dean?

  14. Lord Chaos.

    Mwah! I love you and your horrible, horrible design!

  15. How about an article on the super hero with the MOST kids?

    every house Ben Urich visited in Daredevil: End of Days had a few red headed kids running around

  16. Is it wrong that the first thing I thought of when I saw Power Girl had a kid? was… Who’s the lucky guy that got together with PG? Then I saw it was magical. Booo