Hello, and welcome to Job Evaluations. We stumbled upon a box of files here at the iFanboy HQ. Inside that box were performance reviews for jobs kept by many of the characters we read about week to week. Let’s dive in!

Today’s evaluation:

NAME: Harleen Francis Quinzel


OCCUPATION: Psychiatrist


EMPLOYED BY: Arkham Asylum


EVALUATED BY: Dr. Frasier Crane


The Diligent Shall Inherit the Earth
Hello, Seattle. I am Dr. Frasier Crane and I’m listening. The phone lines are a little slow today so I would like to talk about a colleague, well a former colleague of mine.  Her name, Harleen Quinzel. She was a bright eyed psychiatrist stationed at one of the most miserable places on earth. Arkham Asylum. You think it rains often here in Seattle, well then you have yet to visit Gotham City.

Anyone else would have complained and asked for a transfer out of that miserable place as quickly as possible. Harleen choose a different route. She dove into her work at the asylum head first. She was determined to be the best doctor that place had ever seen.

The Art of Listening
What does it mean to be a psychiatrist? An Analyst? A Shrink? I liked to think of it has being a strong listener. You know that’s true Seattle. Harleen, however was more than just a listener. She truly connected with the prisoners and there is something very bold about that. I struggle with empathy with my patients everyday. In fact yesterday that woman called in again about her cats and I just daydreamed about whether or not I need to pick up more sherry on my way home. Harleen would never do that. She would listen to anyone about whatever was bothering them. It did not matter whether it was a man struggling with the duality of nature or a woman whose connection with plants went beyond the norm. Harleen would sit and listen with an open ear and, most importantly, an open heart.

The Best Vice is Advice
My brother Niles once said “I never recommend anything to anyone that I wouldn’t do, so I don’t recommend much.”  With the exception of that last part, that’s how I also feel. A good doctor must be able to take their own medicine. Harleen did that. If a patient of her’s had to be locked up, then she would lock herself up. If one of her patients would feel better if they would only just allow themselves to cry, then she would also cry. In doing this her patients connected with her in a beautiful way. Almost like a moth attracted to a flame.

A Last But Not Least, Have Fun
It takes a bit for the old Frasier Crane to loosen up. Not true for Harleen. She always had a smile on her face and was always eager to have a good time. A big smile too. A really, really big smile. Imagine the crescent moon. That was the size of her smile. Big smile.

Final Thoughts
Harleen is no longer a practicing psychiatrist. You see, she fell in love with one of her patients. Something that is terrible but I would be lying if I did not admit to doing so myself once. If you see Diana Chambers anytime soon, just avoid her. Unfortunately, the patient she fell in love with was a murderer and terrorist. Harleen fell under his spell and engineered his escape. She now serves as a sort of sidekick for him. She has become a criminal and murderer and some would say a psychopath but not I. No. I say she was a young woman who gave too much of herself to her profession. An act so selfless, she lost a sense of her identity and allowed her brain to be shaped into that of a killer. A good doctor who..who…actually the more I think about it she was a terrible psychartrist. Why did I start telling this story anyways? Roz, has anyone called in yet?

Employee Response
BANG BANG. OPEN THE SAFE. MISTER J NEEDS HIS MONEY! OPEN THE SAFE OR I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU! PUT THE MONEY IN THE BAG! Good. Okay. You were just robbed at gunpoint by a girl in a jester outfit. Now tell me, how did that make you feel? Be honest.


Timmy Wood is a comedian who has been watching both Cheers and Frasier on Netflix. Both hold up very well. He is on twitter often! 


  1. This is so awesome I love this series you guys are doing. This one was the best one so far.
    (You perfectly captured Frasier as a character)

  2. Nice one, Timmy. I, too, have been watching CHEERS on Netflix. And it does hold up pretty damn well.

    • It kind of does, but on the other hand, ha well sometimes it doesn’t. Like the “gay” episode, well a lot of stuff like that. Rather… outdated and odd to see so much bigotry going on. It’s like, oh by the way, everybody in the bar doesn’t want to be in the same room with any gay people. Then the ol gay witchhunt plot, ha I mean I know they’re trying to in the end give us a positive message, but… yeah.

      But I know what does stand the test of time, Harley Quinn.