A short clip from ‘G.I. Joe’


In case you missed it last night during the MTV Movie Awards.

Oh… oh, no.

I’ll be honest, I’ve been holding out hope.  I saw The Mummy.  And while it wasn’t the best thing in the history of cinema, I thought it was kinda fun that one night I watched it on cable.  Never saw any of the sequels.  Never had any desire to.

The early stills from the movie weren’t that bad (I still don’t think that the character designs are the problem), but that first teaser.  Oh, boy.  And that’s not a good “oh, boy” that’s an “oh, god – mecha suits” oh, boy.

I’m so conflicted because the cast is actually pretty good.

Comments

  1. Say what you will but i thought that was a lot better than the teaser.  I mean, people who say this looks like shit, and then say how excited they are from transformers two…..

  2. Oh-hoho, lordy. Robocop Parkour Force GO!

    In the event that one of you opts out of recording the podcast, and a sub is needed, let me be the first to say onetwothreeNOTIT.

    Man. Man!

    When did color become the enemy? Between this and Transformers, it’s like a contest to see who can be grayest.

  3. Even the sound effects were irritating.

  4. Stephen Sommers is responsible for directing the worse scene in movie history…at the end of Mummy Returns, when Brandon Frasier stabs the Scorpion King and the mummy comes runs onto the scene out of nowhere and screams NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I’ll see if I can find it on youtube, it puts anything Ed Wood ever filmed to shame.

     

    But yeah, no one should be suprised by this. This is the man who made Van Helsing, after all.

  5. Ugh… wow. This made you more interested in it? I have less interest in this now then before. The CGI looks bad… the Super Suits are just… no. I don’t know. Won’t be seeing this and won’t be seeing Transformers either. Oh well… this Summer movie season is being fairly light on my wallet. 

  6. dear god… that just looks… terrible

  7. Why are they dressed like Spartans!!?!?  And why are people always messing with the French?

    I have no desire to see this movie now.  How sad 🙁

  8. Eh, it looks better than the Surrogates.

  9. Found it! The worst scene in movie history, which was made by the same guy who is making this movie!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfIlMeDsvrg

     The Surrogates looks great!

  10. if the suits were tied to the mythos somehow.. but they’re not, so.. i just, yeah, this preview has to be the worst i’ve seen from it yet. if even the chopper resembled the cobra model from the series? just something other than snakeyes actually looked right. it’s like when they did the he-man film and none of it took place on Eternia but all on earth instead. it was hardly even he-man anymore.

    does that make sense?

  11. Ok, this is interesting to me. Why are we hating on something that started as a toy line?!?!? To be honest, this shouldnt even matter to most comic fans. The  G.I. Joe toys/comics/cartoons/and now movie are all designed to sell to that specific audience. Furthermore, everyone who complains now is still going to drop their $8-9 and watch it. All I ask is that you save your judgement for after you actually watch it. Now let the bashing of my comment   begin!

  12. @Joshua: I don’t understand your general premise. What does the toyline have to do with this movie?

  13. I loved the toys as a kid and the cartoon. I liked the new animated movie, which modernized G.I.Joe without disconnecting it from its source. This doesn’t feel like G.I.Joe, the personality, the essence of it is different and it looks stupid, where as the cartoons could be said to be campy this looks like it’s taking itself to seriously and at the same time trying to be a superhero movie rather then a movie about soldiers fighting terrorists. 

    It won’t get my money until I see reviews, but I havn’t let this director get any of my money yet, so I don’t see it happening. 

  14. @Conor just stating that this is a comics first website, and that G.I. Joe started as a toyline. I can understand us fans coming down harsh on someone who plucks a comic title and tries to transfer it to the movies, but not this, not a toy franchise.

  15. @joshua: For many of us GI JOE started as a comic book. An excellent one at that.

  16. @conor: agreed, I just don’t get all the negativity about this trailer. High octane action is something we DON"T want from a G.I. Joe movie???

  17. @Joshua: So our oppinions aren’t valid because it didn’t start out as a toyline? The fact of the matter is that all you have to do is look at the clips and it’s easy to see that it looks like crap. You don’t need to be a specific kind of fan to come to that conclusion.

  18. ^ DID start out as a toyline

  19. @Joshua: High-octrane action in and of itself? No. You need a good story behind it. And to not have the Joes dressed in mecha suits.  To me that’s the biggest problem I see in the trailers. I don’t know what the story is, so I am not commenting on that. I’m onyl commenting on what I see in the trailers and I see some really bad costume design.

  20. @conor: maybe so, and yes judge the trailer all you wish, just seems silly to take what the trailer shows and pan the movie. I agree the suits are…….questionable at best, but maybe that’s explained in the story, supporting my watch the movie 1st argument. 

  21. @joshua Umm… I’m not dropping my money on this. I’m pretty sure most people that are saying it here are doing the same. Will people still go see it? Yeah. Will people who say they think it looks terrible see it? Sure. But I make it point to not see bad movies. I was burned with Matrix Revolutions and will never make that mistake again. And I’m not judging the movie on any grounds other than what I’ve seen in the trailers. And I have every right to say that it looks terrible and that I have no interest in seeing it. As well, just because it started as a Toy Line doesn’t mean GI Joe doesn’t have a rich Comic Book history (which it does.)

    @FACE I actually have a softspot for Masters of the Universe. Frank Langella as Skeletor, the film that launched the careers of Courtney Cox and Robert Duncan McNeil! And who didn’t love Dolph Lungdren? Is the movie campy and terrible? Yes. But I love it for that! 

  22. @Joshua: I agree that the movie should be judged after seeing it, but we can certainly judge things like art direction and costume design based on a trailer.

    And from what I’ve read of the mecha suits, the reasoning behind them is pretty dumb.

  23. @praxjarvin: all in all, I’m just not a fan of the "everything is terrible forums!!" I was in no way saying that nobody has the right…..of course people can and do say whatever they wish, I was simply commenting on the severity to which it was being taken.

  24. @Joshua: iFanboy is very far removed from an "everything is terrible" place on the internet.

  25. @conor: totally agree. I’m not looking to be placed in fire here Conor by everyone, I’m just really really really wanting my favorite characters in fiction to have a successful movie screen debut.

  26. I think the biggest sentiment was that the mecha suits make the movie look really bad because its a device to cover for a potentially weak plot. I would have to agree with that sentiment, but to be honest I just want to see a really cool showdown between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow if the rest of the movie turns out to be okay then that would be gravy. I hope the fan reaction will make the producers of the movie to do another trailer soon that has no signs of the mecha suits. If we can see that and it turns ou t to look real good some of the criticisms would die down. Let’s face it this is going to be a popcorn movie at the most, but if we as the fanbase give it good critical reactions hopefully the movie people would get wise and make a better second movie. This could be a great money making IP if they rethink that big special effects are going to get our dollars.

  27. I only skimmed this thread, but I would like to point out how funny it is to me that the only GI Joe I have ever been exposed to is GI Joe Cobra.  And never in a million years would I have thought that that had anything to do with this.  But still, I think it’ll be better than transformers.   

  28. @Joshua: We can very much assume this movie is going to suck from the information we have. The fact of the matter is that this guy makes bad movies, and its very much unlikely that his will ever change. It’s the same thing with Uwe Boll and McG, they’re track record is so bad that it is extremely safe to say that their future movies will be crap, especially if the trailers dont offer anything different from the previous films of the director.

  29. That is bad. and not in a campy " let’s watch it because it is so bad it is fun" way either. The mecha suit thing is just a bad and badly animated.

  30. Ok……….Um, I don’t like the suits, the animation looks awful, the "nice shoes" line was terrible. Now lets turn our attention to someone else, b/c my feet are starting to burn.

  31. @Joshua The Baroness is spot on visually, but the two quick snippets of her acting drove me crazy! "GET…. OUT!" NICE….. SHOES." 
     
    Still, I could be wrong and it could be good. but literally no one I know wants to see this. And most of us were big GI Joe fans back in the 80s-90s. Indeed, that week after 9/11 issue of GI Joe was the best thing I ever read! (It wasn’t..) 

  32. ‘This looks like shit!’-James L. Brooks

    Seriously, lose the fact this is a GI Joe film (even though you could fool man as this does look like Robocop meets IronMan)…..this film looks horrible,

    Bad acting, bad CGI, bad special effects, a plotline that doesnt make much sense….and some of the worst writing in a one mintue time frame:

    ‘Nice Shoes’-Baroness……Seriously? You had to write that line in the film?

    Looks like X-Men Origins: Wolverine is gonna win some Oscars compared to this pile of dog shit

  33. @TNC I guess this means we’ll be seeing an Oscar Nom for Karl Urban? :-p

  34. has anyone watched the new animated series?

     

  35. I’m excited about what could be, does Cobra Commander wear the mask……..I wonder???

  36. I wasn’t that put off by the trailer, but this looked bad. Bad dialogue, animated action, and green screen sets. I’m sad now.:(

  37. I once met a guy who did movie CGI effects for a living while in the UK.  He’d been working on Batman Begins at the time in London and was taking a brief vacation on a tour of Scotland (which I was also on).  Anyway, I asked him who the worst director to work for was and he responded: "Personally or professionally?"  To which I asked to know both.  His reply was that personally, Michael Bay was the worst, just a big a$$hole, which really wasn’t that surprising.  Professionally it was Stephen Sommers, the director of The Mummy and now G.I. Joe.  The guy said he just had way too many ideas, mostly bad, and had no self discipline in telling the good from the bad.  On that note, he said the best guy to work for was Spielberg.  But yeah, those mecha-suits, and that shot of them dodging missiles straight out of the last Transformers movie.  I don’t expect it to be some kind of ultra-realistic ultra-gritty, having an underwater base or other crazy stuff is okay, but part of the fun is having characters that seem individual and each have unique talents.  Those mecha-suits basically kill all of that.

  38. What I have seen of Cobra Commander… well, let’s call that Exhibit N.

  39. Seriously:

    How can you fuck up a cartoon series about a bunch of secret military operatives? It has to be hard; but somehow Sommers did it.

    ‘I wanna do a G.I. Joe film! But I dont wanna actually put people in Army outfits. IronMan was a big hit, let’s put everyone in these gray-ish Iron-suits!’

    Baroness is apparently Duke’s ex-fiancee…..where the fuck did that come from? Guess that explains why there isnt an accent on her to begin with.

  40. Jimski….I clicked on that link and I have to say…a little part of me died. How do you XXXX up Cobra Commander…the look is iconic, either one, the Hood is creepy and the helmet with the silver front screams megalomania. Wow…that action figure is horrid.

  41. As soon as I saw the exo-suits, I ditched all hope. I’m so tired of seeing big bulky machines do ballet on the head of pins. The MTV Sneak Peak has done nothing but confirm that this’ll be Crappy Sommers, and not Campy-Good-Sommers which…uh…I guess was really only one-and-a-half-movies (Mummy Returns was good until The Rock reappeared), so I don’t know if that really qualifies him of having a good twin.

  42. The Helmet would be apparentally impossible to do without making the actor die, and the Hood makes him look too much like a KKK member. Which I thought would be a good thing. You should hate CC. You should hate him like a KKK member.

    This movie looks like Power-rangers, and has all the writing of Power Rangers to boot. The villians give off cheesy one liners that just make them look stupid. The Heroes say overly heroic Cliches that have only been used in another Language and haven’t been used in 40 years. The only real difference is this is spending Millions of Dollars for shit, and the cameras seem to be grayscaled.

    This summer sucked. Terminator was really bland, and far from that 80’s hit I loved those years ago, Transformers looks like it’ll be more of the same from ’07, Wolverine was just horrid, though Jackman and Liev were good in it, Star Trek was Great, but deffinatley not as Good as it could have been, but that’s no complaint really, and Battle for Terra By far the best movie of the summer, and for me at least best of the Year and maybe Decade was the third worst selling 3-D animated movie ever. At least Angels and Demons was good, and Up was Fantastic(if not Heart-breaking) as one would expect from Pixar.

  43. You know, when I first heard about this I was excited, when I saw who was cast, I was happy, when I heard destro would have no Mask, I started to lose hope, when they gave that first sneak peek, My hope begane preparing the Cyanide capsule, and when I saw that Mask on Justin’s face, I just plunged that knife into my Lung, and hoped that the pain would make it didn’t happen. So far everything that has happened to this movie has made me hate it, but I so want to love it, just because it as the GI Joe name, I want to like it, nay, Love it, just for that name, but my Mind, Heart, Soul, and Penis all say that this movie will bring no Intualectual Satisfaction, no Retro Satisfaction or Nerdgasmic Satisfaction.

  44. This looks like it could be bad.  Like, Street Fighter bad.

  45. Deadpool was popular, Transformers was popular, Wall E was popular, Iron Man was popular, so mecha suits and nice shoes it is. If the movie doesn’t suck than the people making the trailer are shit at their job.

  46. That looks awful. Yes I will just have to wait for a copy of GI Joe Resolute, that was a great animated movie. But they trailer was terrible. my girlfriend that it was terrible and shes not a tough critic. "nice shoes" who the wrote that.

  47. What. The Heck. Was That.

  48. I hate those suits, but the rest is passable.

  49. The whole point to GI Joe is that each member had his/her own specialty that made them essential for certain situations and when they work as a team, they can tackle any crisis. The robo-suits negate that. This is not GI Joe, this is a shadow of Cobra vs a team of 2 dimensional characters with a high tech advantage.

    I just might cry…….

  50. How do things like this get made? What crap.

    Is nothing in my childhood sacred? 😉

  51. Of couse I can’t watch the video I am from Canada….

  52. Jeff Reid (@JeffRReid) says:

    I, personally, find it annoying when someone yells "go go go!" or "move move move!" in a summer action flick.  Now, I’m also aware that this is probably never going to go away, but it always makes me roll my eyes when it happens.

  53. This has the potential to epically suck, but in that good Paul Verhoeven/Starship Troopers way. Stephen Sommers specializes in popcorn flicks, so that’s what this is and that is what it should be. It’s just a matter of whether it’s Star Trek or Scorpion King. Either way, I’m going to pay to see it.

    And, if I may be, well, a man for a moment, Sienna Miller looks hot as a brunette in a leather bodysuit. Meow!

  54. Yeah, I can’t watch the preview either, stupid zone restrictions.

    But I will say I will be SHOCKED if I see this in-theatre.

  55. I will still go see this.  From the look of it, it doesn’t look like the mecha suits are in the whole film, maybe just the opening part with the introduction of Cobra.  This just looks like big, dumb fun.  

  56. I guess I just don’t understand all the hate directed at this movie. Now, I’m a huge fan of the comics and I have no love for Stephen Sommers, but for some reason, I’m looking forward to this and thinks it looks cool. It’s not going to be just like the comics or the cartoon, but neither was Transformers. 

    I remember a lot of negativity directed at Transformers before it came out, but most people love it now (most not all).

    I think that this looks fun and that is all.

    Oh, and I agree with Neb, for all I can tell the Acceleration Suits are only in the scene in Paris. Looks pretty early one. The one thing I’ll say about the suits, wasn’t G.I. Joe always about cool vehicles and technology? This just happens to be a vehicle someone can wear.  

  57. This looks like it might actually be worse than Transformers.  I didn’t think I would ever utter those words.

  58. Looks about as terrible as Transformers to me. I’ll be skipping both, at least until my 9-year-old nephew forces me to watch them on video.

    What’s next? A crappy MASK movie? Jem?

  59. awww. cannot be viewed outside the US because off copyright reasons…

    i hate copyright!

  60. no Jem or MASK movie unfortunately, but I’ve heard there’s a grim and gritty My Little Pony feature in the works. Cotton Candy and Blue Belle are sent to a stud farm for impregnation after Butterscotch blows a hoof and has to be put down.

  61. Insanity.

  62. Even though I am very much in the anti-mechasuit camp, I’ll still be going to see this. Nostalgia has that effect on me. There better be a bad-ass fight between Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow (though I doubt it’ll be as cool as the one in G.I.Joe: Resolute).

  63. When G.I. Joe Resolute came out a few months ago someone posted that "Warren Ellis raped my childhood and had a really big dick." Personally I LOVED Resolute and feel this way about this flick just from the trailer. I will still be seeing it but I am not holding my breath, especially since all The Mummy movies sucked hard.

  64. sigh,  I had hopes for this flick, now they almost nonexistent.  I may still go see it, if i get in for free or discount.  A big screen  Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow fight still draws me in

  65. @flakbait: They did make a bad Mask film.

    Son of Mask! *chokes*

  66. But but The Baroness is missing her super sexy accent.  Now she’s only about 80% as hot as the comic/cartoon version.  Maybe even 75.

    Overall yes this does look bad, but I only care to see Ray Park be awesome as Snake eyes.  I’ll zone out for the rest.

  67. @jstump: Dude, anything Ray Park is in….he’s usually the best of the film.

    Phantom Menace as Darth Maul

    Probably G.I. Joe as Snake Eyes

    Legend of Sleepy Hollow as the Headless Horseman

    Not the best part of X-Men….but he did a good Toad

    Hell he was Chuck Norris in the Bruce Lee miniseries!!!! Chuck Norris!

  68. Looks liek the Halo Guy and Robo Cop are fighting Street Fighter characters to me I think i will pass

  69. Where’s my "Hurm" shirt? I’ll be wearing it to the local megaplex when this hits the shores.

  70. I wonder if the filmmakers are hearing all of this, or whether they’re eagerly watching the calendar, thinking, "Sixty days til goldmine time!"

  71. @s30 – I’m not in the US and it works fine for me. I just have to press play again after the annoying commercial.

  72. lol no really where is the real trailer

  73. Looks craptacular. Seriously how could you screw that up that badly.

  74. …so much pain…

  75. I really wanted this to be good but everything thing about it screams HORRIBLE.  At least we have 3 great G.I. Joe comics right now and a awesome cartoon movie.  Also shout factory is releasing the original cartoon on dvd sometime this year.  

  76. Thankfully, we have the great G.I. Joe comics and the Ellis written movie which was also great.

    Seriously, from what i’ve seen in the trailer this could pass off as just another action movie with explosions, it doesn’t even look like a G.I. Joe movie.

    Mecha suits, really?

  77. Cool guys walk away from explosions.

  78. Spewing venom at the G.I. Joe movie must be the cool thing to do right now. I watched this again and still don’t see what everyone is freaking out about. It’s G.I. Joe! It looks like G.I. Joe. The Cartoon was corny as shit and the comic…please, I love the comic, but if you don’t think it’s silly, please re-read, I’ve been. The IDW trades are great, but c’mon, Yo Joe Cola! 

    The Mummy movies sucked hard, and this might, but I just don’t understand everyone saying it’s going to be the worst thing ever based around what we’ve seen. And I really don’t get all the hate thrown at the Mech Suits, it’s in one scene, …and they’re kinda cool… 

  79. If anything, I think a large part of the problem people are having with what they’ve seen of this movie is precisely that the source material was colorful and a little loony-tunes, and this is… whatever this is. Colorless and self-consciously "badass."

  80. Does anyone else think that this out of control nonsense called a GI JOE movie is really just going to be what the cartoon was: a commercial for toys?  I mean the mecha suits are crazy, but I had GI JOE figures as a child who had dual shoulder mounted rockets (which would have fired right next to the guys ears), those Future Force toys, Cobra Commander in a fully armored suit (not hood or dome), and most ridiculously, the Rolling Thunder which was a joe mobile base that fired what looked like ICBMs. 

    Also, I think the mecha suits were part of a toy relaunch from a few years back. C’mon, its Hollywood, nothing in the movie will be original.

  81. Found it: GI JOE Sigma6 – looks like they pulled a ton of this stuff for the movie

  82. I mean, I don’t necessarily have an issue with the "accelator suits" per se and the special effects are kind of cool at points but it just seems really sloppy and thrown together.  The one thing I always liked about Stephen Sommers is even his worst films have a crazy energy to them and this just doesn’t even have that.  The scary thing is that I’ve watched the trailer with an audience at "Star Trek" and people really responded to it, so it might do well enough that this becomes the status quo for a while.  Now you know and knowing…just makes it worse. 

  83. @Nate I’m glad someone thinks this looks good, and I do hope you enjoy it. But I just see the trailer (the two of them) and can’t help but think "I’ll spend my money elsewhere." The presence of Roger Cross won’t even change my mind! As well, I know we’ve only seen the Mecha-suits being used for one sequence but I’ve been led to believe from production footage I’ve seen and interviews that the suits will be in at least half the film. Though, again, that could be misconstrued info. 

    @icn1983 That’s a little sad. And contrary to my experience. Indeed there were spurts of derisive laughter thrown at the screen at my Trek viewing. Like… someone said "Accelerator suit" and literally the guy next to me goes "Who writes this shit?" This is a Star Trek fan! People who wantonly make up technobabble! 

  84. Is it just me or did that clip seem like it was stolen from “Team America World Police”?

  85. this is the best of any of the promotional stuff ive seen so far.  its nowhere near great, but it looks less terrible than i originally thought.  and there are alot of scene lifts in it, too.  That opening where Baroness gets out of the car might as well say courtesy of Paramount Pictures/ Marvel studios, because its just like the original Iron Man trailers.

    and the mecha suits just look dumb. dumb dumb dumb.  Siena Miller as the Baroness is hot, but lets face it, you die any attractive woman’s hair black and throw a pair of glasses on her and she becomes gorgeous.

  86. Just sent to me—-

    gi joe meets 24

     

    http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/fourteen_forty_minutes/