November is my favourite month of the year, but not for the reasons most people would assume. It’s not for the changing leaves and the fire coloured skies – it’s not the daylight savings (an extra hour of drinking on one night out of the year, whoo!) – it’s not the one day of the year where I can eat as much as possible and not feel guilty. No, I love November for one thing in particular – facial hair.
I am one of those women that is madly attracted to men with hairy faces. Moustaches and beards get my motor running. I’m sure there’s some sort of deep rooted daddy issues that cause me to love beards the way that I do, but I’d rather not explore that right now.
November encompasses two awesome things that pertain to beards – No Shave November and Movember. Both of these movements rely on community involvement where men don’t shave for the entire month of November, and go as far as investing in the best beard balm and a trimmer, and start curating the moustaches and beards women love so much (whether they admit it or not). It helps raise awareness for not awesome things like Prostate Cancer and other men’s health issues, and it also contributes to charities that pertain to these things. No Shave November is exactly what it sounds like, but Movember is just thr growing of an epic moustache.
Let me tell you, if I had the capabilities of growing a huge beard and it was socially acceptable for a woman to do so, I’d be all about it. I’d rock bearded lady status with PRIDE. But instead I will be mad appreciative of all the men around me rocking facial hair for the next month, and wish every month were No Shave (insert month here).
This brings me to my article this week – the top five comic book characters with facial hair. Screw the chiseled jaw All American Superheroes – I like my men grizzly and hairy.
Wolverine
Wolvie is the epitome of epic beardy manliness. Whilst he may not ALWAYS have some hairs on his little chinny chin chin, his sideburns TECHNICALLY count as facial hair… and they put most men’s full heads of hair to shame. Those are some epic sideburns, yo.
Dr. Strange
In order to look properly mysterious, one has to have a pointy goatee – don’t you know? Dr. Strange probably has pixies from some other dimension perfectly manicure his never a hair out of place chin-style.
Thor
If you don’t have a beard on Valhalla, you shouldn’t be in Valhalla. Or something like that.
But really, do I honestly need an explanation for THOR’S beard? I’d be worried if he DIDN’T have one.
Tony Stark
If it’s one thing comic books have taught me, it’s that douchebag multimillionaires always have to have perfectly styled facial hair. It must really help with the ladies – adds an air of mystique, perhaps?
Herc
I’ve noticed that in comic books, characters that REALLY need to exemplify manliness are always beardy. I have very little problem with that. Besides, I’m pretty sure greek gods don’t have time for razors. They’re too busy chasing virgins and picking up pieces of the earth and throwing them at each other. Also, lightning bolts. Lots of lightning bolts.
BONUS ROUND!
Jesus Christ
Of course he’s been in a comic book, and of course he has to beon my list. You think I could get away with writing this without including Jesus in it? Psh, come on.
So there are my Top Five choices for comic book characters with furry faces. There are a few more, but these aforementioned five gentleman would really fit in to No Shave November.
If you want more information about No Shave November and Movember, go here: http://www.facebook.com/NoShave
Molly McIsaac really does love beards, and blatantly stares at most men who possess the ability to grow them. Follow her random rants on twitter.
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Deadshot’s stasch beats anything on this list… It’s to bad he doesn’t have it anymore :O!
Frank Stack’s (aka Foolbert Sturgeon) “The Adventures of Jesus” is an underground classic, and my fave comic appearance of ole JC. Beards aplenty!
I forgot about Movember. Picked a horrible time to stop shaving…
Anyway, I’m surprised Green Arrow didn’t make the list. Sure, its not the fullest bit of facial hair, but I’ve never seen a character more defined by it.
Ollie’s glorious facial hair is the saddest loss of the DC reboot, even more so than Wally West.
Is anyone going to mention that every beard is Marvel based? I dont disagree with the ranking mind you, but I wouldnt have minded a Wizard SHAZAM sub in for Tony Stark. And potentially a homeless Green Arrow resurect…other than those omitions, good article.
Surprised the Father of Thor, Odin, wasn’t on the list. By the way I love that image of Dr. Strange.
All the Warriors Three have excellent facial hair too!
Love the article and nice selection for your choices. Did not see JC coming. I would like to submit Mr Sinister for the weakest facial hair to badass ratio. Cause eventhough the facial hair is so 90s – nothing says meddling prick quite like rocking one.
@Blargo – Nice call on Green Arrow
Batroc the Leaper has a killer stache. I have always been fond of villain twirling their facial hair.
No love for J Jonah Jameson and his Hitler– oh right….nevermind.
Also Kraven The Hunter is the only man that can wear a fur deep V collar, and leopard pants and STILL look like a hardass. How? The Magnum PI mustache, THAT’S how.
The Mandarin!! Nothing is as sinister as a Fu Man Chu
What about Invincible’s Omni-Man? He comes from a planet of uniformly moustached supermen. To his people, not being able to grow appropriate facial hair would be seen as a genetic aberration or weakness and is therefore grounds for execution.
So I think you’d love the planet Viltrum, Molly, it’s Movember all year round: UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH.
Oh come on! Everyone knows that the most bitchin ‘stache belongs to the one and only BATROC ZE LEAPAR!
Ooh yeah. Facial hair on men. *Rrrooowwr* My man looks real good with a goatee.
I’m feeling the loss of Green Arrow’s iconic facial hair in the New 52.
Also: Ra’s Al Ghul. It’s a nice light touch, fits him well, and I don’t think anyone could really pull it off like he does.
I like a beard on a guy, too. And not one of those over-manicured ball brushes, I mean, like a real honest-to-goodness Hemicuda-Buck Lure-Flying V-Jack Daniels-full on-Bonnie-Prince-Billy-gone apeshit face hat. Might be I have father issues.
There aren’t nearly enough Battle Pope references in the world. Thank you Molly.
I think this was supposed to be titled “The Top 5 Marvel Characters with Facial Hair and One Jesus”.
I’d have put Ra’s al Ghul on the list. He could probably kill someone with his goatee alone.
Maybe we should title this thread “DC fans take an article about beards too seriously”
How about scruffy Reed Richards?
Hilarious!
The pre-new52 Green Arrow I miss rocked a solid goatee too, so did Dr. Fate if you ever seen him w/out his helmet, the original Kent Nelson, I don’t know if I’ve seen the conveniently newer possessor of the helmet of Nabu, aside from a cpl of the most recent JSA issues where his face was burned w a cross symbol, man that description sounds nerd to the core, I’m only 32 and love it, know I’m good looking(not to sound arrogant) and love that that comic book geek is still inside me, rocking the beard all winter long, every winter too! Hellboy has some hellacious burns too.
Props to Jim Gordons mustache, its iconic.
Alfred, Sinestro, Mason Savoy, Rick Grimes, Yorick from Y:The Last Man at one point and occasionally Hulk.
You know who has the worst facial hair in comics? The fans.
Molly, you are such a Marvel zombie.
Ra’s Al Ghul? Ollie Queen? Sinestro? Jim Gordon? These are bearded comic staples!
Represent, darlin’. That’s all I’m sayin’.
If you wanna nitpick at silly things that don’t matter, two of those aren’t bearded, just mustachioed.
jim gordon most certainly should been on the list. i guess if you want on the list you have to either be a marvel character or fool the world into believing your the son of god(im talking bout herc, of course)hahahahahahahahahahahahaha
6 fictional characters with 6 fictional beards
ba-wa ha
Jim Gordon
Ra’s Al Ghul
Sinestro
Zod
Oliver Queen
DC has it’s fair share of epic facial hair too y’know!
Jesus…