FEAR ITSELF #3 (OF 7)
Review by: NawidA
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Users who reviewed this comic:
Art by Stuart Immonen
Cover by Steve McNiven, Stuart Immonen & Guiseppe Camuncoli
Size: pages
Price: 3.99
This review contains spoilers, click here to read
So some Nazi bitch is fucking shit up in the Capitol right? So Cap is like "nuh, uh, bros before Nazi ho's" and throws his shield like a motherfucking G. But before that shit, some kung fu sonuvabitch is just doing some crazy karate kick to no one. Kung fu people are fucking crazy. Anyway, Cap and Nazi Bitch do some hot and heavy word4play before taking hammer to shield.
Then we cut to Asgard. IN SPACE. Like Power Rangers in Space all over again. Thor's bro Loki breaks him out of jail. Except he ain't a girl anymore. Or a guy. He's a little bro. He goes up to the guards and he's like poison bitch! Motherfucking god of mischief gives no free food to no one!
Hulk is fucking shit up as a bad guy until Betty is like no Hulk no! But he's like fuck it, everyone thinks I'm possesed anyway, time to ditch this biAAAAAAAAAAAGH! as he gets hit with somegoddamn lasers and shit.
Cut to Nancy Street. Reed is like, cmon touch the hammer to Thing. Things like ok, but then Reeds like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Dumbass Reed. So Thing becomes ROBONAZIGODTHING and fucks shit up.
Odin catches Thor and is like "bitch, off my property" and throws in some portal shit. Odins cold as a motherfucka.
Then OG Cap is like IMMA DIVE OUT OF A PLANE. And he does it. Like a G.
Cut back to New Cap. Dudes like fuck you nazi bitch and your nazi mechs that look like you just watched the trailer for sucker punch. But crazy bitch just like grabs his arm and stabs and new Cap gets cooked.
Cause ain't no such things as halfway Caps
Scared to death, scared to look, they shook
Livin' the live that of diamonds and guns
There's numerous ways you can choose to earn funds
Some of 'em get shot, locked down and turn nuns
Cowardly hearts end straight up shook ones, shook ones
He ain't a Cap son, he's just a shook one
Story: 2 - Average
Art: 4 - Very Good
Art: 4 - Very Good
This review is probably far more entertaining than this issue of Fear Itself could have possibly been.
I would love to hear the rap version of this.
@Firevine, this review was far more entertaining than the actual issue.
Hahaha. I’m not reading Fear Itself but that was an amusing review.
Hopefully they read it on the show.
Mobb Deep.
I think you expressed the ridculousness of this issue pretty well.
The story isn’t bad but it’s like Fraction has a grand plan and very interesting story but it’s not being executed on the page very well.
so wait…is Nancy Street a woman or an actual street?
great review!! loved it.
Specially this:
” Then OG Cap is like IMMA DIVE OUT OF A PLANE. And he does it. Like a G.”
Ironically my roommate is on an Epic Meal Time binge which is THE PERFECT DAMN SOUNDTRACK TO THIS REVIEW. REPS>.
Still think these word balloons are weirdly shaped. WHY IS A GIANT VERTICAL WORD BALLOON COVERING THE ART WITH BLANK SPACE???
honestly, i waiting to read “honey badger dont care!” in your review. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg
hahahaha
Great review!
Who the hell was that Karate kick kicking air like a mofo? hahaha
This is totally awesome. They need to hire this guy. He’s cool. Like a G.