TRAILER: ‘G.I. Joe: Retaliation’ Looks Kind of Insane (In a Good Way?)

This is crazy. Meet me after the trailer and we’ll talk about it.

Hey.

Okay, so there’s a lot of insanity in this trailer. I can’t even process the big reveal at the end right now, so I’ll deal with that in a second. Let’s try to suss out the story. When last we saw the movie Joes, Cobra Commander, Destro, and Baroness were captured by G.I. Joe, but the film ended with Zartan impersonating the President of the United States. In the trailer it looks like Zartan makes use of his new found authority to wage war on G.I. Joe. It appears that the main Joe players (i.e. Duke and Scarlett) are taken off the board in favor of these new Joes whose job it is to Make Things Right. Of, course there’s always a place for Snake Eyes.

Roadblock, Lady Jaye, and Flint

Who’s in the trailer?

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson looks like the lead in the film, and he’s playing Roadblock. We got to see him briefly firing his trademark heavy machine gun, which was kind of awesome.

Adrianne “Wonder Woman” Palicki is playing Lady Jaye.

Ray “The Punisher / Volstagg” Stevenson is playing Firefly, who was always a very underrated Cobra agent.

Elodie Young is playing Jinx and she’s seen quite a bit in the trailer doing cool blind stuff and fighting alongside Snake Eyes.

Walton Goggins is in the film, but he’s just playing a prison warden, which is a shame because he should be playing Wild Bill.

Besides those listed above, the cast list includes Flint, Cross-Country, and Tunnel Rat.

Oh, and then there’s the big surprise at the end of the trailer. He’s playing General Joseph Colton AKA “The Original G.I. Joe.”

Crazy.

Okay, I have to admit I’m kind of stoked for this. I enjoyed the original movie a lot more than I thought I would, and I’ve never been more upset to have missed a Special Edition Podcast. Granted, a lot of those good feelings come from my love of all things Joe, but I thought that the first movie was a lot of crazy fun. This one looks like it could be… better?

Comments

  1. Yea. With him involved, this movie will rock.

  2. yes

  3. The Rock and Bruce Willis and it written by the Zombieland guys….I’d say that’s a major upgrade on pretty much every level.

  4. Yo Joe.

  5. This movie had me at The White House. If that one shot defines the tone for the whole film, they’re on to something.

  6. Jonathan Price: When you need just a bit of low rent class.

  7. I think this could be really good. Apparently, they are going with comic book version of Flint ala Clint Barton-“kind of a fuck-up”. Good for story telling. Will the Rock rhyme? That’s all I want to know.

  8. Channing Tatum aka Duke is in the movie, he’s one of the three that survives the attack in the trailer.

    I’m so pumped for this movie, I actually liked the first one and this one actually looks GOOD, so here’s hoping.

  9. “Channing Tatum aka Duke […] survives the attack”

    …You sure about that?

  10. I never got around to seeing the first one because nothing I saw about it looked very interesting. After watching this trailer I’m actually excited for the sequel.

  11. That is indeed an awesome trailer. Random observations:

    1. Adrianne Palicki rolls her eyes twice in this trailer.

    2. When I first saw Ray Stevenson in that bomber jacket I thought he might be a Dreadnok. He is hanging out with Zartan, after all. Alas.

    3. Why would ninjas think that red jumpsuits are appropriate alpine camouflage?

  12. One question: is Cobra Commander in this thing? There’s a shot of a guy wearing a reflective mask, and they’re playing it off like it IS Cobra Commander, but he’s not listed in the credits at all. Anyone know?

  13. The first movie was a good action movie but really had nothing to do with G.I. Joe. The only 2 characters in the first movie who obviously looked like their characters were storm shadow and snake eyes. It looks like they are actually trying to make the characters in the 2nd movie a little more recognizable. I will see this on genreal principle but not going to get my hopes up. The A-Team movie actually did a very good job of modernizing their story while staying fairly true to the shows characters.

    • Interesting. I thought the first movie did a wonderful job of channeling the spirit and the feel of G.I. Joe. Much more than I expected it to.

    • Conor, as did I. It wasn’t a perfect film. But it was fun. And isn’t that all we ask for? A fun film.

    • Agree with Conor. Anyone who thinks GIJoe wasn’t full of silliness (including things like the much-maligned super-suits) is viewing the old cartoon through extremely nostalgia-fogged goggles.

    • Honestly, I thought the movie did a lot of things right that people kind of gloss over. First and foremost, Destro was a Scottish arms dealer who fronted M.A.R.S., so many people get confused by the cartoon as he sounded much different, but that’s what he was in the Hama comics. I remember Ron being so upset on the SE Podcast that it was M.A.R.S. and not ARBCO, but Cobra didn’t exist yet and M.A.R.S. was where all the weapons came from.

      Secondly, Cobra Commander was American. Sure he wasn’t the used car salesmen he was portrayed in the comics, but I think it’s very important that CC be American as to not have some sort of random foreign enemy.

      Snake Eyes Vs. Storm Shadow, besides the fact that SE had a molded mouth on his mask, everything here was done right. Granted SE wasn’t a Vietnam Vet (that would have been weird) but a kid when he met SS, but he was taken into the Arashikage family and was thought of very fondly by the Hard Master, who was then in turn killed, which was made to look like SS, but in fact the true killer is in the movie as well.

      Fun tech, weapons and vehicles that just scream JOE, while there weren’t a ton of recognized vehicles that were toys, they did have a lot of fun tech and stuff.

      And lastly, this was the origin of Cobra so to all of those who were upset that Cobra didn’t look like they should, well, they weren’t supposed to…yet.

      I know I’m forgetting a few things, but I just wanted to point out that the movie got more right than most people think. There’s a lot more in the movie based from Hama’s comics than the cartoon, which is fine by me as the cartoon was never “canon” to me.

  14. It also looks like someone actually consulted the military when they set out to film this thing.

  15. if this is half as good as this trailer, I will be happy.

  16. sidebar: Can anyone find video of the SNL parody commercial with Mike Myers doing his best worst impression of Jonathan Pryce and selling Infiniti toilets? When Pryce goes to hell, I hope Lucifer makes him watch that commercial over and over again.

  17. This looks like it will be a good time. And they appear to have gotten rid of Snake Eyes’ plastic lips! Huzzah!

  18. I had no interest in this until I saw that John McClaine was going to be in it.
    SOLD!

  19. They had me at Cobra Commander in the badass helmet, and then they reeeeally had me at Cobra Commander in a white outfit with the badass helmet. Best movie of 2012?

  20. That is Cobra Commander!! It has to be!!!

  21. I’m still baffled by the decision in the first movie to NOT have Cobra Commander in a hood because it “looked too much like like the Ku Klux Klan.” 1. It didn’t. 2. He is the the VILLAIN of the movie, right?? It also looks like Duke might “die” at the beginning of this which is fine with me.

  22. I didn’t hate the first one but I wasn’t a fan either. Looks like a they step up their game here. I’m down for a second outting and how can you go wrong with my twin the rock in it.

  23. It’s a trailer (duh), so I don’t wanna go all excited because trailers always look better then the final product.

    But man, talk about a 180. This looks fun and stupid but in a good way. The last most was just too stupid for me to enjoy. But this looks to have enough action and a good script (the guys from Zombieland is a 10000% improvement). Then you have that reveal at the end! I didn’t even know Willis was in this till now!

    So far bad movies like Ghost Rider 2, Three Stooges, and now this have great trailers to make me wanna watch them. That’s what trailers should do and not tell the entire story or do a bland job of hyping it up.

  24. It must be a requirement for the rock to get into a fist fight with someone of equal muscle mass in his movies. He fought Vin Diesel, now he’s fighting Ray Stevenson. And the only ting I liked from the first movie was the fights between Snake eyes and storm shadow, and it looks like we’ll be getting a lot of that so I’m definitely interested.

  25. God, that first movie was one of the wrost experiences I have had in a theatre. So bad, so stupid, surrounded by idiots enjoying the film. Hell

    I’m not giving those people more cash

  26. Wow first Ghost Rider, now G.I. Joe, these sequels to horrible films are looking better & better!

  27. @Connor, this is being directed by the guy who does the “Step-Up” movies. So it’s got that going for you too.

    Didn’t the guy playing the president in this also play the president in X-3? (Or at least, hypothetically, if they had made a third X-Men movie?_

  28. Thought the first movie was stupid fun, this trailer looks a LOT better already!

    Hope the best parts weren’t in the trailer….

  29. Definitely looks better than the first, and hey, Ron Paul is president in this universe!

    Is Ving Rhames too old to be Roadblock? Hrrm.

  30. You never really see Rock and Snake-eyes in the same scene. Leads me to believe that this is gonna have a Empire Strikes Back story arc where the two small groups get separated, go on the run and come together at the climax of he story. I can live with Bruce Willis playing Lando.

  31. This looks very fun. Only major downside is the lack of Scarlett, and also lack of Baroness, etc etc.

  32. I will keep saying this until I die..

    A ninja cliff side mid air battle with Snake Eyes?

    And Bruce Willis as the original GI Joe?

    The Rock as Road Block?

    Kick Channing Tatum out and it will be perfect.

    Nothing more can be said about these movies. A live action GI Joe film calls for nothing more thant mindless action and insane amounts of dumb.

    Cobra Commander in the White House? Yes please.

  33. Sometimes, embracing the cheese is the best option.

  34. This looks BAD ASS!

  35. John McClane as a GI Joe. That’s pretty awesome. Also, Adrianne Palicki is hot as hell.

  36. Jeez does that look good. The techno 7 Nation Army remix was pretty damn cool. I’m psyched.

  37. The first movie was (IMO) a lightweight popcorn matinee flick that passed the time and coasted on the G.I. Joe name.

    THIS movie? Now THIS looks like they are putting a little more “real” into it. No crazy robo-suits. Just a group of Joes getting it done. Nice!

  38. I just watched this again an noticed….. the GI JOE Hovercraft!