Hello again! It’s been a while
since comic fans-slash-cinephiles
would wait in line and pack the aisles
down at the multiplex,
but in four days we’ll all go see
an Iron Man film, number three:
the bookend to a trilogy,
or so the news suspects.
What will they give us on Friday?
What else could they have left to say?
And did they really find a way
To top last summer’s fun?
We want them to, but we have doubt.
The hopes are high. The knives are out.
We vaguely know what it’s about;
we’re not sure how they’ve done.
The teasers made it look so dark
but come on, this is Tony Stark.
This whole thing’s gonna be a lark
Unless I miss my guess.
We can expect the Mandarin
And some Avengers panderin’
Some service to the Fan again
And Tony under stress.
Prob’ly won’t see Agent Coulson
(once Avengers’ Jimmy Olsen);
Loki put a couple holes in
that poor blighter’s chest.
We won’t see Dr. Ruffalo
rampaging like a buffalo.
…seems like a bunch of guff, although
I’m sure it’s for the best.
They won’t show Tony as a drunk
cuz Disney thought that idea stunk.
That may put fanboys in a funk
(gasp! wonders never cease!)
but this is summer; there’s a reason
these films come out in this season.
fun is what you make your G’s on;
it’s not a fall release.
At least there’s not much they could do
to boof it worse than number two,
which tried too hard to just redo
the things the first one did.
It’s still okay; if you’re able,
catch it all for free on cable.
The plot hinges on a table
he had as Iron Kid.
Tony makes an element
one Sunday down in his base-ment;
I think that’s how the third act went,
although it’s been a while.
The big maguffin in the plot
was this scale model of Epcot
…or did that happen? I forgot.
I may be in denial.
Although that may sound like a bad
synopsis of a dream I had,
I liked the parts about his dad
and Rockwell as a jerk.
In short: though it is not regrettable,
The film is utterly forgettable.
So, is some more success still gettable?
Will Iron Man 3 work?
I know that, while at C2E2,
where people dress like R2D2,
Patton told a crowd and me to
see it right away.
Oswalt said he’d heard, by far,
that this one will re-raise the bar.
It’s second-hand, but there you are.
Don’t know what else to say.
I hope he’s right. I hope it’s great.
He got me psyched; now I can’t wait.
I’ll get a sitter, save the date,
and put my faith in Downey.
He’s made the franchise sing so far.
No question he’s a Movie Star;
Even when 2 was under par
I didn’t go home frowny.
And what of you, O Reader Dear?
As blessed May the 3rd draws near,
what do you hope? What do your fear?
What says your inner geek?
Will this third outing pass the muster,
or is it just more summer bluster?
Is it a bomb or a blockbuster?
Let’s talk again next week.
Jim Mroczkowski does not rhyme with a goddamn thing.
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Glad to see Age of Ultron didn’t find it’s way into this week’s article. 😉
It just did, you brought it up! Anyway the week is young so there’s time for 1 or 3 talking about how it’s the hot shit of the year.
“…it’s the hot shit of the year.”
I’m not sure if that’s meant to be positive or negative, but it sure is.
Took me a bit to realize I was reading a page long ode to Ironman. I actually enjoyed the second, so im not too worried about this one. The review on IGN was pretty enthusiastic about it so there’s that. Hopefully we’ll see more Rhodey/Iron Patriot in this movie, that’s my only hope.
Yeah I didn’t “not like” Iron Man 2 either. It wasn’t a great movie, but Mickey Rourke was awesome. On the whole, a decent movie. Anyway – I’m not super-psyched to see #3, but I’ll probably check it out 2-3 weeks in.
Rourke definitely was a force in that movie, good villain choice. I want to get excited for Part 3, but I’m much more excited for Thor 2 and GotG. I guess it’s because with Iron Man you know what to expect, so yea. I’ll still want to see it, but probably on $5 movie night at the Greene would do me just fine whenever during the summer.
I have nothing to add except nyah nyah we UKers have already seen it.
It’s good. Don’t get spoiled. For reals.
I will add, as a UKer that it is full of surprises.
I will just add to the choir of nyah nyah. In Sweden we’re almost into the second week of the run. 🙂
Content wise I can say that it was quite good.
Australian here – We’ve seen it too. It’s brilliant.
Well, I’m one of the few that liked the second (just rewatched it last night), though I will admit that whole inventing a new element thing was a bit fuzzy. They could have just left out the dying Tony plot line . . .
I’m looking forward to the new film, though, keeping expectations in perspective. I don’t have any real wishes for the film, but that it’s great. My dream wish would be an early teaser for Guardians, but I know that’s too far down the road. I did love Rockwell as Hammer, and would like to see him again someday, but it doesn’t need to be here & now.
Oh, is that official that Disney has nixed bringing alcoholism into the franchise? If so, that really is a shame . . .
I wished they would focus more on the political implications of Iron Man, they touched on it in the beginning of 2 but nothing after that. Although it looks like 3 might hit on that subject in a big way.
I have to admit I’m not terribly excited for this. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang did very little for me so Shane Black as the director doesn’t get me as excited as it does other people. Also, based on the previews it seems maybe they’ve made Tony a little too snarky. He should quick witted and sarcastic but the previews make him seems almost glib. Still definitely doing to see it but when it comes to superhero movies I’m much more excited for Thor 2 and Man of Steel.
Imho, not expecting much after IM2….hope I’m wrong.
Not as good as the first, and marginally better than the second. If you like the comic version of the characters involved you’ll be scratching your head when it’s over.
My girlfriend and I both enjoyed it a lot. I can see where some people would be upset or not like some of the choices they made but I found them to be pretty bold and unexpected.
Why was the film released in Europe before the US? Not that it’s a big deal to me; I was just wondering.
I am just impressed Jim was able to come up with to -uffalo rhymes that we didn’t mention in the car. 🙂