Tuesday Showdown: Killer Croc vs. The Lizard

Killer Croc vs. The Lizard

Forty-five minutes into The Human Centipede, a man in the seventh row coughed.

"Garbage!" he barked. "I hope none of you think this could happen, because it just couldn't!"

"Shut it!" snarled a man in the ninth row, a fedora perched on his knee cap.

The first man stood up and turned. He squinted into the darkness. The second man had again buried his face in his jumbo popcorn. He was thrashing in his seat like a predator in a nature documentary.

"Nice pervert coat!" snapped the first man, sneering at the other's tattered trench.

The second man lifted his hairless gray head from his snack and leered. "And what you call that, zactly?"

"It's a lab coat!" said the first man, who for simplicity's sake was Dr. Curt Connors. "I didn't come here for titilation or for jeers from you or for this speculative slop! I was hoping for a medical documen–"

The second man, let's call him Killer Croc, hurled a tray of pretzel nubs at the obnoxious scientist. "Well I'm here cuz the trailer was really messed up and I've been thinking about eating the girl at the soda fountain. Now tighten up your face hole the way the other end is so we can all watch the movie show!"

A smattering of applause from the remaining half dozen in the theater.

Connors had already begun to change when the pretzel cheese splattered against his chest. He was about the size of Croc now, skin covered in scales, joints contorted into a new reptilian frame.

"I'll eat your kidneys," said The Lizard.

Croc stood up then and turned for the exit. "I'm getting a manager."


Killer Croc vs. The Lizard

Who wins?

Show your work!


  1. Lizard wins. After what happened at the end of last weeks Amazing there’s no doubt that you can’t fight crazy like that. Just no way.

  2. Looks like one cold-blooded fight… Heh… Cold-blooded… This thing on?

  3. You kidding? Killer Croc hands down winner.

  4. Paul if you saw Human Centipede I feel for you…

    Killer Croc would win destroy Connors. Sure the Lizard can think quick on his feet and maybe make some type of weapon. But Croc…..he’s just a fucking monster. He can kill you five times before you hit the ground! He would rip Connor’s head off before he even flinched! 

  5. Croc wins because he is the %#@! ‘n pimp (Broken City) of Gotham.

  6. I’d have said Croc, but after the "cold one" showed up in last issue of Spider …. this one goes to the Lizard!

  7. Thanks.  I had almost forgotten the short clip of ‘Human Centipede’ I witnessed.  So much for dinner.

     The edge goes to Croc, teamed up with Movie Theater Manager Man.  I can’t remember if The Lizard can regenerate his tail, that could push it to even.

    Either way, the real winners are the rest of the audience, who get a brief repreive from the screen abomination before them.

  8. I moderated a podcast called The Nerd List where we had this very debate. It came down to almost identical powers but The Lizard has a beefy tail and can control reptiles around him, so that gives him the edge.

    Here’s a link to the show if you wanna check it out: http://thenerdlist.podomatic.com/player/web/2010-04-22T19_57_38-07_00 

  9. I would have to go with Killer Crroc on this one. He’s just so brutally savavge and has a total disrgard for any and everyone, besides himself and his intrests.Plus The Lizard is just a nerd.

  10. @TNC @Paul – Midnight showing of "The Room" in New York.

    Killer Croc shows up wearing a Tommy Wiseau wig and his trademark suit. The Lizard shows up dressed up as Denny the creepy neighbor kid. After re-enacting the scene at the Birthday party where Tommy ( Croc) recites how he has been betrayed by everyone, including Penguin who has put his ideas into practice. The Lizard realizes the same has happened to him. They both agree that they should be BEST FRIENDS and agree to eat Peter Parker and Batman’s heart together. 

    They both enjoy the movie till the end.

  11. Lizard’s intelligence would tip the scales, get it?…scales…..oh nm.

    • i feel i should pointthis out in any spiderman comic or cartoon i seen his human state wouldnt want to help his lizard state plus in lizard state conors isnt that bright just kinda runs on instinct

  12. @RoiV: what you said.

  13. awesome combo. id probably have to say killer croc. i dont know i feel croc would be A. bigger and a little bit more nuts. (even more so if he was sitting next to scarecrow). while lizards is also sick, and has a tale, im going to have to giv eit to killer croc.

  14. I gotta give it to The Lizard, I love Croc but the Lizard is insane with a huge glop of reckless and I give the edge to insane and reckless.

  15. Killer Croc, but I have yet to read the ASM issues with Bachalo on art duties. Its called shed I think?. My subscription is always a good 3 issues behind :(.

  16. I’m a big fan of Croc but after reading ASM Shed, or hell, even Spider-Man: Torment I’d put my money on The Lizard.

  17. Lizard would win,,,I read somewhere that the lizard man can left 5 tons,,Killer croc is just a big dude with bad skin I taught

  18. Lizard has an infinitely cooler backstory and much better storylines, but I think in a fight, Croc would win. Lizard’s got that whole "dual-nature" internal struggle going on all the time. Croc would just rip the Lizard’s face off while Conners and the Lizard had their emotional power struggle.

  19. I say zombie Steve Irwin wins. 

  20. Gonna have to go with the Lizard on this one.  Pure, visceral instinct would totally win out over Croc’s tendancy towards pride-wounded, emotionally based desicions.

  21. Lizard!!

  22. Swamp Thing

  23. Lizard has a tail, and is far mar nutso than Croc. Connors wins.