Tuesday Showdown: Darkseid vs. Thanos

Darkseid vs. Thanos



"Thanos. Morning."

"I was thinking."

"That's the burnt rubber I was smelling."

"Right. So."

"Thanos, it's not happening. All's I can say is I'm sorry." 

"Negative Zone's dried up. Positively."

"There's other Zones. Phantom Zone. Cancerverse. Meat on the bone."

"How long you gonna sit on 'em?"


"Glen…yes. Glengarry. The Glengarry leads rotting away in your desk since god knows when."

"Easy now."

"Let's. Cancerverse. You want me stroking the Cancerverse again? This is a suggestion?"

"Cancerverse is getting bigger every day. That's why they call it–"

"What good's a stack of leads if it just sits in a drawer?"

"Heh. Tree falls in a forest…"

"I got a girl who doesn't say shit to me."

"I got plenty of those."

"So commiserate."

"Shit. You taking SAT prep, Thanos? Commiserate."

"One lead." 

"Want me to fan 'em out in front of you real quick?"

"How long I been clocking in with you?"

"Question's how long you been clocking in without closing."

"Don't give me this brass balls horseshit."

"A.B.C. You see that guy's car?"

"Mitch and Murray, I understand. But you're here every day. And you're eating up this brass balls Ferrari Calvin Klein bull?"

"It wasn't a Ferrari. Not even."

'Let me show you what I can do with one day and five leads."

"Now it's five leads."

"You had a girl like Death, you'd understand."

"You don't even have a girl like Death and stop looking at me like you still got those rings, cause you don't."


"The hell you say to me, Grimace?"

"Said at least I don't have to go home to Granny Goodness every night."

"I don't."

"Looks like Maude."

"Which is fine, because I'm not having any of that."


"Naw. Just…"

"Explain that relationship to me."

"I don't have to explain myself to you."

"Because i'm purple."

"Because you're purple." 


Darkseid vs. Thanos

Who wins?

Show your work!


  1. I have the biggest grin on my face right now. You sir have made this awful day at work not seem so bad.

  2. "I came here because the Living Tribunal asked me to. They asked me for a favor."

  3. Another “no fight” guys….thanos and darkside continue shooting the bull, trading quips and barbs. Who else are you gonna hang with when you are a galactic spanning despot? Spirall downwards into a run of “your momma” jokes. Soon falling into “Jay & silent bob” style toking, the boys get the munchies, and spend their time bitching about superheroes.
    “yo d, that superman must be a real bitch…..”
    “true than-man, but it sucks you lost that glove you know….”
    “true true……”
    “I love you , bro… You know that right?”

  4. This one is very simple.  Infinity gauntlets are for closers.

  5. Is Darkseid playing Nintendo Wii in that picture?

  6. Thanos played the race card. Automatic win.

  7. @MosteXtremeBrian 

    man I hope so, otherwise this "fight" will have to continue on another kind of website altogether  



  8. Darkseid convinces thanks to cash out his 403(b) and invest it into a ponzi scheme and takes him for all he’s worth. The bank forecloses on the infinity gauntlet and darkseid wins it at auction for 33% percent of it’s worth. Thanos lives in a box with a pickle jar for his bathroom until darkseid hires him. He spends the rest of his years picking the chocolate chips off satisfies muffins.

  9. Btw thanos not thanks and darkseid’s muffins not satisfies. Curse you iPhone!!!

  10. So I gotta ask. If Thanos is Gil, then what does that make Darkseid?

  11. Lionel Hutz?



    Thanos wins? Why? Because Death is the Anti-Life equation, and Thanos has a deep relationship with Death! Saaanap!

  13. Darkseid