I like comic books, I like escapism, I am comfortable with ideas that don’t immediately make any sense. But once in a while something is so completely ridiculous that it jumps out at me. Even in the midst of an impossible idea, there can be something which simply sticks in my throat. I can be happily immersed in a comic book or movie, totally buying into the idea that a person could be exposed to radiation, or experienced a mutation, or was even born from magic, but then some aspect of the story just doesn’t make sense. Within the accepted logic of the story, an aspect doesn’t make any sense, and then the entire fragile house of cards falls down. Here are a a few which have irked me.
Wonder Woman
How can she have an invisible jet?
This one has driven me crazy since I was little kid. I have no problem with her being made of clay, or born on a lost island of women, or even having magic, bulletproof bracelets. Nope, the part I don’t get, is the invisible jet. How can she find it? How does it work? Where did it come from? If the other amazons made it, how did they know how to make a jet aircraft? Maybe they can do magic, but as far as I can tell, they don’t have any airplane engineers on that island. It doesn’t make any sense. Then she gets in the plane. Is she invisible then? Or can you see her, like in those wacky Hanna-Barbera cartoons?
Smallville
How can the Green Arrow see, wearing sun glasses at night?
I’ve got to preface this one by admitting that I rarely watch Smallville, I just take a peek or two at the screen when my brother watches it. It really irks me, this Dawson’s Creek of a show, bastardizing the icons of my beloved comic books for their melodramatic nonsense. But I get it, this makes the characters accessible and interesting to a specific kind of audience (which obviously isn’t me), fair enough. But the other day I noticed that they have a Green Arrow character now. This grown man dresses in a sleeveless leather jacket, with a big hood. While I’m sure that the hood cuts down on his peripheral vision, I expect the sunglasses that he wears day and night make it impossible to see anyway, so why worry, eh? It’s just stupid.
Hulk
Why don’t his pants ever tear off when he turns into the Hulk?
It’s just silly. Surely once in a while he’d be left wearing just a t-shirt, or nothing at all, or maybe sometimes all of his clothes would stretch, right? T-shirts are pretty stretchy… And why would the pants tear off at the knee? That part doesn’t make any sense to me. The whole premise is a stretch. I think, if they were worried about showing his junk, they should have had Banner transform into a raging monster with no private parts at all. That way it wouldn’t matter if his pants stayed on or not.
Angel (X-Men)
Where do his wings go, when he’s wearing a suit?
Apparently I have no problem with a man growing giant birds wings and then being able to fly with them, (despite not having hollow bones, which is the only reason a bird with similar proportions would be able to fly). But I do have a problem with him being able to fold them small enough to be invisible under a suit without looking like a hunchback or obese. It’s just not possible. They used to show him strapping them down, as if “down” equals non-existent. Thre would still be some bulk. Are these magic wings, which disappear? Or does he have no lungs, and his wings actually fold into his back and under his skin or something?
Spider-Man
Why doesn’t his suit have a fly? How does he pee? 
This question comes direct from my brother. He thought of this, because he dressed up as Spider-Man at Wonder Con this year. He looked very authentic, and I’d have to say that I’ve rarely seen a Spider-Man at a con who was as convincing, but there was a problem. Sam was horrified to realize that he’d have to get pretty much entirely undressed in order to go to the bathroom. Obviously this would be far too time consuming for an active superhero, which begs the question, how does he pee? Where is his fly? And while we’re on the subject of this one-time geek who got himself irradiated…
Spider-Man 3
Why was there so much music and dancing?!
I know that people have a lot of problems with the Spider-Man movies. I personally quite liked them, at least the first two were okay. Then came the third film… so much music, singing and dancing. What was that about? When was that a large component of the Spider-Man comic book? I went to see that film for the action and adventure, not for the bloody musical numbers, and not for the damn cooking and dancing escapades. In fact, any film about which you can say “escapade” is not going to be up my alley, and it’s the last thing I want from a Spider-Man movie. Take off his mask, make him a whiny dweeb who cries too much, reveal his identity to Mary Jane, whatever! But musical dance numbers? No.
Reed Richards
If everything is stretching, why don’t his eyeballs fall out? 
I realize that this one is slightly gruesome, but think about it, why wouldn’t his eyeballs get loose when he stretched. Is part of his stretching power that he turns into one, uniform lump? If so, how does he speak, because then his tongue would be melded to him. I’m not clear on how his powers work at all really, that whole stretching thing seems tenuous at best. Does everything sort of smish together when he stretches, and the rest of the time it’s distinct? I just can’t get my head around how it wouldn’t all fall apart when his eye sockets stretched. Now if you told me that everything on his body stretches except for his head, then maybe I can believe it.
Susan Storm
Why can’t you see her food, when she’s just eaten, before it’s digested?
This has always confounded me. As far as I remember, in the Invisible Man, you could see his food, until it was absorbed by his body. That seems logical to me. However, no one talks about Susan Storm’s food, or being able to see it. I know that I ought to be confused about all sorts of things that the Fantastic Four do (traveling through space, living in a tall building in a densely populated area, having a child after being exposed to near fatal doses of radiation, etc), but these are the things that bother me; Can you see Susan’s food? and why don’t Reed’s eyeballs fall out?!
Wolverine
Why don’t Wolverine’s joints dislocate?
Even if his bones are laced with adamantium, and he’s got an incredible healing factor, there’d be nothing to stop his bones from constantly being ripped out of the sockets. And that’d hurt, and certainly slow him down in a fight, so why doesn’t it happen more often in fights. Does he have adamantium-laced cartilage too? That wouldn’t work, because then he’d lose all his flexibility.
And speaking of flexibility, how does he bend his wrists when his claws extend? If the retract into his forearms, then when they pop out, they completely inhibit the movement of his wrists.
Daredevil (the movie)
Why was he sleeping in an isolation tub thingie?
And to address a similar point, why was he taking pain medication? If he had absolutely no control over his heightened senses, then he wouldn’t be able to function. End of story, there is just no way he could survive, let alone fight crime. That movie made me furious, absolutely livid, nothing about it was okay, nothing. But that whole sleeping in a box thing was just outright ridiculous. My eyes water when I’m stuck downwind of someone who’s wearing too much perfume/cologne. If Daredevil was subject to the same ridiculous frailties, and had to combat them by shielding himself in a bloody box!
Maybe someone can explain these things to me? Or at least justify them, within the crazy logic of their context. If so, please share it here, or email me at sonia@ifanboy.com.
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If Superman is celibate, which we assume has has to be, why isn’t there a hole in his bedroom ceiling?
These nitpicks can be explained by the audience themselves with a little imagination and thinking outside the box. I appreciate it when creators leave some things for me to add up and not treat me like a 10 year old.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My childlike wonder!!! My suspension of disbelief!!!!!!! Sonia, how dare you. I believed.
@Paul – Wow! Classy. Your winking avatar just became markedly more creepy.
I always thought Sue Storm-Reid bent light around her making her invisable so it didn’t matter what she ate or what she was wearing, but I’m not too much of a marvel guy.
Hmm. I’m torn between "I see your point" and "who cares"? But to address some things:
Invisible Jet: It would make sense, to me, to say it’s the OUTSIDE of the jet that becomes invisible, like a cloaking device, but she can still see everything in the cockpit like normal. Although the overriding image of that Invisible Jet is that awesome SuperFriends version where she’s sitting in a non-existent chair and hurtling through the sky.
Green Arrow Sunglasses: Clearly, it’s easier to look out than look in. And your point on "melodrama"… comics are stacked with melodrama anyway. They’re basically soap operas with powers and tights.
Hulk pants: Hasn’t this been done to death? Come on, now. Talk about the magical reappearing shorts on the "New Moon" werewolves, instead. (Haven’t seen it, read a review. I feel the need to state my revulsion towards all things "Twilight" here.)
Angel’s wings: Here’s the better question – is there ANY way to make Angel’s power not-useless? Lord knows they’ve been trying since they created him.
Spider-Man 3: What is life without a little music? (I liked Spidey 3 and had no problem with dancing dorky dark Peter. Yeah, I’m the one.)
Wolverine’s joints: … okay, that’s actually a pretty good point.
Daredevil movie: I own the Director’s Cut. Trust me when I say there was no need for a Daredevil Director’s Cut.
Let’s try to win some no prizes 🙂
1) The Hulk’s pants don’t rip at the knees, it just appears that way because of the added Hulk height, it’s really just the cuffs of his pants that get ripped. That said you’re right I’m not sure why his pants are super stretchy but his shirts aren’t
2) Spider-Man’s pants and shirt are seperate items, at least they’ve been shown that way repeatedly, I think they’ve shown there are clips hooking the shirt and pants together so he doesn’t have his ass crack showing while swinging
3) Sue Storm DOES bend light around her as opposed to make her flesh translucent, no problem there
4) When Wolverine’s claws are longer than the span between his wrist and elbows I dunno, but otherwise they just fit alongside his forearm bones
5) About Reed, he’s got full control over every part of his flesh so he can stretch his eyeballs and tongue along with everything else but I do rarely see him stretching his head anyway so his eyeballs would be fine in most cases either way.
6) Ask Corey Hart about why Green Arrow wears his sunglasses at night 😉
Fun article 🙂
really couldn’t find a picture of wolverine? really?
DD- If I remember right, DD was taking pain medication because he was getting his ass kicked on a nightly basis. And the decompression chamber was just so he could get some peace and quiet.
Wolverine- Couldn’t you even technically rip his arms and legs off, since it’s just metal/connective tissue/metal?
I’m gonna try to get some no-prizes that gobo left on the table
WW: The invisible jet is just nonsense, I mean she can fly, so why have it?
Smallville: The glasses are actually multipurpose. They have tech qualities to them that actually allow him to enhance his sight. (at least that is the only thing that really makes sense)
Spidey 3: The dancing is there because it was the trade-off for forcing Venom down Raimi’s throat. Marvel gets Venom, Raini gets to be unnecessarily silly.
RR: I always wanted to see Reed take one of his eyes out to look around a corner or something like that. By the way, if his eyes are stretchy, can he use them as a microscope/telescope??
Wolvie: I think that they did rip his arms off in one of the What if series. Why not all the time, I dunno.
DD: The deprivation tank is so he does not get startled when he is asleep. He cannot control his senses as easily then. So a sudden noise, like a trash can knocked over two blocks down, does not wake him up.
My favorite part of this article is going to be all the people who stone-facedly address your questions.
"The invisible jet was a gift to the Amazons from Hephaestus. He crafted it for Hippolyta in order to curry favor with her (and with an eye on her magical girdle). The invisibility is a result of the jet being gilded with the remnants of the magical metal used in the casting of the Helm of Hades. Just like the helm only turns the wielder invisible when it is donned, the jet only turns itself invisible when the pilot enters the ship, and only to others." is what I would say if I had to make up an explanation about Wonder Woman’s invisible jet.
Great article! This should be a video show.
You’ve started pulling a thread and now the whole thing is going to come apart!!
How can Reed speak when he is stretched? His vocal chords would strectch as well. Does his voice sound funny? Can he manipulate his vocal chords to sound like anyone?
I think the most interesting part of the Reed question is new poewrs and abilities he might have that are untapped, maybe Hickman will push that in his new run.
Sort of like how Iceman got ramped up when he found out he can turn entirely into ice.
The Wonder Woman invisible jet thing has pretty plausible – for a comic – explanation. The Amazons had been watching the evolution of "man’s world", so they knew what jets were. When Steve Trevor crash landed, they were able to examine his plane (perhaps by magic, to explain how they could do it so quickly). Then, they used magic to create their own and turn it invisible. Simple.
@MisterJ – WW can fly now, but couldn’t always. Pre-Crisis, she couldn’t fly – hence, the jet. It’s part of the character, like the bracelets or the costume, so they continue to use it.
About Angel – I wasn’t much of an X-Men fan, but I do remember reading the X-titles back in the 80’s, and I remember specifically, in the first issues of X-Factor, Angel wore a giant backpack that hid his wings. I thought that made total sense… but like the saying goes, don’t let details get in the way of a good (or bad) story, so if they don’t want Warren wearing a backpack, they just draw him without wings and don’t explain it.
I always wanted to know how Captain America manages to wear the shield on is back. Are the straps elastic?
Timeless questions, all. Yet, like a 12 year old boy, I’m stuck on one thought: Reed can stretch his tongue.
This never occurred to me before. Reed can stretch his tongue. This, more than anything else, explains why he and Sue have been married for so long. She puts up with a lot, but now I see the trade-off. Thank you, Sonia, for that mental image.
DD comment
I can see your opinions and humor on most of your points except this one. The guy’s blind and can hear the couple two blocks away making love as well as the mouse fart next door. During the day he can filter it out, but as he’s trying to rest I’d think it would be a nightmare.
Imagaine a noisy neighbor next door playing music extremely loud, but not for just one night… I mean every night.
Just a humorous remark… fine. Hate the movie… okay. Hate Affleck for Gigli, couldn’t agree with you more. Send me your Paypal info and I send in my 2 cents.
From Jimski’s sake I’ll take a go at a few of these…
Invisiible Jet – originally brought to Earth by Xenu. Later made visible and adapted by the Douglas Corp. as the DC-8.
Spider-Man – Little known arachnid fact… spiders can hold their wee for extended periods without leg shaking or crossing. (had a similar issue with my Boba Fett gear. like many modern problems, it was fixed with a knife in a dirty bar bathroom)
Spider-Man 3 – gah. no excuse for that one. It’s like someone said, "like those first 2 movies? eat this!"
My addition is Batman’s mask. Dude has access to every piece of armor and gadget possible… but leaves his face uncovered from chin to nose. Not even Steve Buscemi can get through a movie without being shot in the face…
@MisterJ – There was an arc of FF in the early 90’s ( I think), I believe it was titled ‘Strange Days’ where Reed does poke his eyeball around a corner.
Heh, I like your rants Sonia. Let’s be real though, I’ve seen Sue Storm’s body. It’s pretty obvious that girl hasn’t eaten more than a triscuit a day for years.
I feel like an idiot doing this now thanks to @Jimski, but I gotta do this!
There aren’t that many musical numbers in Spider-Man 3. There is MJ’s performance. That makes perfect sense in the context of the story and the characters. If you’re gonna have a character be a broadway actress, she’s gonna do some singing (no matter how horribly or awkwardly it comes out.) The only other "musical" number (which I would argue isn’t a musical number at all, but really a short dance sequence) was actually fun and was a unique way to use his acrobatic powers.
Sorry for that. Other than that gripe (even without it) this was a fun little article.
I don’t understand the Daredevil one. And BTW the director’s cut isn’t half bad.
Why don’t superhero boobs sag?
imo. A little sag is pretty freaking sexy.
"How does he pee?"
Perhaps with great power also comes great bladder control. Or, as is more likely the case, he makes the necessary adjustments to accomodate his webslinging jaunts. I’m quite certain, for instance, that on nights when Spiderman is on duty you won’t find Peter Parker an hour before knocking back pitchers with Harry and Flash.
My real concern, and I hope I don’t come off sounding too crude, would be the NUMBER TWO problem. Imagine you’re tangling with the Rhino and all of the sudden you cramp up! Can’t exactly call "time out", can you? So my guess would be NO saucy foods on crime-fighting nights; DEFINITELY no Indian or Mexican food.
I’m sure there must be some correlation between the personality of the hero and his/her bathroom habits. For instance, a control freak like Batman could probably anticipate down to the last second when he has to "go".
Yes, I’m weird.
Great article, BTW.
Wow. Sonia got some love this time. People love defending zany shit. And condemning it. God love the internet.
Having a really nice pair of polarized sunglasses makes a difference for night time. I’ve forgotten to take mine off while driving at night because I didn’t realize they were still on. That’s my two cents on that matter.
Also if I remeber correctly in early Invisible Woman appearances it did matter what she was wearing. Seems like I remember a moment where someone saw her because she was in a bathrobe.
What happens to a super heroes soul when they come back to life?
Are their organs and tissue fully restored, or is their partial rotting?
Is a reborn superheroes tombstone left up?
Barry Allen: Great Husband, Father, and Uncle 1943-63, 1965-1977, 1977-2000, 2008-?
Is Jesus as well respected in the super hero universe? 5 people in the super hero universe have come back to life in the last year alone.
Do reborn superheroes need to get a new social security code or do they just renew their old one?
Stay dead already bitches!
Great article Sonia, you honor your people with your words.
Great article and responses – fandom is a wonderful thing.
re: Sunglasses at night. True story – When I was 15 or so, a few friends and I were just walking home from somewhere at about 10 p.m. One of us – Keith – was wearing sunglasses. Someone else asked him why he was wearing sunglasses when it was dark. Keith’s exact quote: "When you’re cool, the sun shines on you 24 hours a day." Not two minutes later, he does a face plant after tripping over a log. So, I guess TV Green Arrow is just cool.
My example has always been, Why doesnt the flash fly off the planet, he runs fast enough to reach escape velosity all the time.
Wolverine’s claws are in his forearm from below the elbow to above the wrist when retracted.
When he pops them, his wrists must be straight, because the whole claw slides down and past the wrist joint until they reach whatever whatever stops them from flying out the top of his hand. Once they’re past the wrist, he can move his arm normally.
@Quinn … not just his tongue
Also, Angel does have hollow, bird-like bones if I’m remembering correctly. And honestly you’d think Banner would get a suit made of unstable molecules already.
You really don’t read superhero comics much huh?
Hulk – best explanation was in Ed Norton’s movie, it was excellent. He bought the jumbo stretchy pants as a "just in case." They only came in purple.
Angel – Bird wings don’t stick out much, they fit nicely on their backs. So do Angel’s.
Spider-Man – Of course he has a zipper on his pants. Marvel just chooses not to show you his weiner.
Spider-Man 3 – He can dance with the agility of a Spider, plus he was influenced by the symbiote to torture his ex-girlfriend.
Reed Richards – his eyes are stretchy, they’re not solid balls. They stretch when he wants them too. He often chooses not to stretch his eyes or anything above his neck. Which is why you’ll never see him do that. Jack Kirby made it that way.
Sue Richards – Is different than the invisible man, affected by cosmic rays. Plus she chooses not to eat before space travel.
Wolverine – Read "Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk" by Lindelof/Yu. His joints can be dislocated, but it would take someone very strong to do so. They address exactly that. It’s happened.
Daredevil – Not one good thing came out of that movie. Only Bendis can save it. Ignore it til then.
Kick-Ass – "How does he kick so much ass?" – I just do.
See how with just a little thought these complaints can be avoided? -Kick-Ass
@danielmclark-So there is a good explanation for the jet. It’s just a hold-over from pre-flight days. Thanks for the info.
@darthduck-That is very cool to have Reed do that. Imagine, a cartoon acting like a cartoon! Brilliant! Now they just have to get him to pull the eyeball out and squeeze it so it acts like a telescope. Or hold it above water like a periscope!
I love this article as a litmus test to who has a sense of humor and who doesn’t.
Spiderman’s suit is boots, pants, belt(to hold web fluid,camera and such) top and mask, and always has been
Peter Parker is a genius. the people who buy Spider-man costumes from a store are not.
@leigh … I dunno, i’m pretty much a genius… (although i DID buy the suit online.)
also, In Spider-Man 2, J. Jonah Jameson had the suit mounted on the wall and it was a ONE-PIECE suit, with gloves, boots and mask separate… No separate pants or belt OR fly/butt-flap.
PLUS, if an evil alien symbiote is taking over your mind, you don’t suddenly start wearing eyeliner, dancing on tables and weirding out your girlfriend… it was a SUPERHERO movie… there was nothing super about any of that.
Also, anyone see that crappy movie with John Travolta called "Michael"? he had big wings, like Angel and he just wore a big trench coat over them… seemed to do the trick!
We all get it’s suppossed to be funny. But let’s face it, the "Hulk is wearing pants? What’s up with that?" joke? It’s been done.
The Wonder Woman joke? it’s been done better by Olivia Munn.
Be nice. Seriously. If you don’t want to play along, there’s no point in flaming.
Be nice. This site is for fun.
@PaulMontgomery
LOL! Yeah, the ceiling bit does kind of make sense, doesn’t it?
So maybe we can alter the Siegel & Shuster banner to read: "Faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. Able to punch hole through his bedroom ceiling with a …..".
Well, you get the idea.
@Sam — wait, wait, wait… have you ever been possessed by a symbiote? How do you *know* that you don’t start dancing and wearing eyeliner when being taken over by aliens?
If I could possess people, I would totally change their hairstyle, clothes, AND make them dance. Otherwise, what good are they?
Does Wolverine have adamantium in his penis?
@daccampo I suppose if you were a symbiote and you wanted to make your host look like a pathetic, emo-lovin’ dweeb, there would be no stopping you from enslaving all of humanity and transforming them into an army of douche-bags!
@cromulent – There are no actual BONES in dicks… so I’m gonna say No, Wolverine DOESN’T have adamantium in his penis…. BUT, the healing factor means that STD’s aren’t a problem… So no worries there, then!
I’m just sayin’… there’s no accounting for alien symbiote taste. 😉
@daccampo – Then we are all DOOOOOOMED, sir. The minute i start denying my nerdy roots and start wearing all black, dancing on tables and wearing eyeliner, please end me.
I’m still confused on the Spider-Man 3 question. I still cry about it at night: "Why!? Why is Parker dancing and singing at this club!? WHYYYYYY!!!???"
Maybe I’m just thinking of the film, but in the recent Hulk movie they did explain it was elastic pants. So the waist can stretch if Banner suddenly got bigger…..But that’s still a stretch (see what I did there?). Also, I know JMS explained in his ASM run about why Parker never put pockets and a place to pee in his costume.
According to Conor’s post I would say that I failed.
Since I already feel that way I wanted to mention I agree on the Angel and Spiderman 3 points. I like Angel, but even my brain is confused by this contradiction of matter and space. So I’m going to say that all of his jackets have "Toon" or "Hammer" space inside them. You know that place where a cartoon character whips out a mallet from behind their back.
I think WW having a Invisible Jet is okay I never understood where it came from as a kid and I don’t know where it came from now. Maybe VH1 can do a behind the music special on WW Invisible Jet! 😉 G.A.’S sunglasses have special targeting technology in them and plus they make him look cool! Bruce Banner bought Super Elastic pants from Super Stretch- Mart! 😉 Maybe he does a look everybody no wings when he enter’s a room. LOL! He wears Depends under his outfit! LOL! 😉 Maybe Spider-Man decided he wants to be in Spider-Man the Musical! 😉 He can stretch his eyeballs out I think. Maybe it’s invisible food that Reed invented! LOL 😉 Maybe they stole some of Clayface’s DNA and injected it into Wolverine’s joints! 😉 D.D. must love sleeping in Coffins! 😉 LOL!
No offense, but I think the idea of Wonder Woman is made from clay is much more of a mind fuck then an invisible jet. But that’s just me…
But the clay thing fits with the classic greek mythological tropes. It’s magic. Magic doesn’t require explanation, only "rules" (consisten internal logic). But an invisible jet suddenly drops you into a new territory.
That’s why Perez got rid of the jet when he revamped WW in the late 80’s. It wasn’t until years later while John Byrne was on the book that he brought back the jet as some sort of alien thing.
That said, I don’t know how it worked with the pre-Crisis WW. Was it magic? Tech? And doesn’t an invisible jet wreak all sorts of havoc with the FAA? Does she need to clear flight paths, being invisible to all other jets and all that? The mind boggles.
@daccampo: I know it fits with mythology but still…..Everytime Diana has to explain that to someone in the DCU I have to think they believe she is bullshitting them. I mean looking in the prespective of a citizen in the DCU, an invisible jet seems ordinary.
Wow! So now a can of worms has been opened up for good.
If the invisible jet is magical and Hephaestus made it, then he’s not just the best blacksmith that there ever was, he’s a damn good aeronautical engineer as well. But then that just begs Sonia’s question: where (and how) did he learn to make it? Did he attend MIT or CalTech? OK, he’s a god and all that but it’s a hellava lot harder than pounding out shield for Athena. How about parts? Do they also have to be made by Hephaestus, or does he outsource. What about fuel? Does it even need fuel?
@TNC – why would an invisible jet seem ordinary, being made by gods seems like BS? All sorts of magical things have happened in the DCU– a citizen asked to believe in aliens surely would also have been asked to believe in magic by now, with all they’ve seen.
(okay, I came to make jokes, and now I’m getting too serious. Nerd-alert! I’ve gotta put a stop to this before I start wondering why the super-heroes don’t use their amazing tech — unstable molecules! — to actually SAVE the world by mass producing products to better our lives.)
@daccampo: I don’t think the DCU has seen enough of the magic portion in their lives. They see aliens and meta people walking around…..but magic? Other then Zatanna, who else is well known around that universe?
At least that’s how I see it on why the jet is more plausible then Diana clay origin.
@TNC when Maggedon attacked the Earth the whole of the Pax Dei showed up and spoke directly to world leaders. The Spectre has gone rampaging more than a few times too.
@Heroville: The Spectre is considered magic? I thought he was a religious figure…
@TNC – dude, that’s magic. Or, if you want to go that way, Greek gods are religious figures. Either works. DC also had a giant cross-over called War of the Gods back in the early 90’s. There was also a Day of Judgment mini. Trust me, there are no shortage of magic things happening in the DCU – word would get out. I’m sure others can easily provide a list.
@daccampo: Wait wait, I’m sorry I’m probably going to sound worse then what I mean. But are you implying religion is the same as magic? That might be for a whole different topic there. lol
Also, no offense but I am not fiamiliar with those storylines so I wouldnt know what you mean.
Magic and religion are synonymous in this context.
@Paul: Seriously? I mean I don’t think so. Granted I’m not knowledgable on both studies; but I don’t see the connection. Ghosts aren’t considered a part of religion are they? Cause the Spectre is considered a ‘Spirit’.
I’m not overly religious either so I’m not trying to sound like I’m dancing off the subject.
What Paul said. No, I’m not trying to get into a theological argument. But Religion is just a system of beliefs in a certain power, right? A higher power if you will. But each pantheon of gods was worshipped in its time, and many still are today. So, if we assume that all is REAL in the DCU, then they are all supernatural/spiritual entities. If Zatanna uses Atlantean magic, if Captain Marvel calls on greek gods, if the Spectre calls on a judeochristian god, if Dr. Fate calls on Egyptian gods… those are all non-scientific entities, and the power they wield is what I’m calling "Magic."
This has been a strange day of comments for me on iFanboy.
There are more religions than western/judaeo-christian religions.
@daccampo: That makes sense, but I just don’t think I can put the two together. Although there are a good amount of stories where a ghost influences someone’s decision in the Bible. Again maybe the two are related. But I also agree with Paul, there are more aspects of religion then christian so it might not work for all of them.
Wow…..what a strange swerve considering this was all about Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet. lmao
@daccampo – You have been a damn workhorse today. Thanks for sharing. I agree that "gods" and "magic" are extremely similar, especially in the DCU.
On the Mr. Fantastic stretchiness… he can stretch his eyeballs. It’s been done a few times (Waid/Weirengo comes to mind.) As well, there’s an old issue… probably Byrne?… that establishes Reed doesn’t need glasses because he can just change the size of his cornea and retina at will.
@NextChamp, DaCampo I’m about to blow your minds. Since Zero Hour, there’s technically no "god" (well, some people choose to make one – Willingham, for one – but there’s been a concerted effort not to acknowledge any one religion as being the "proper" one in DC.) in the DCU. There has been the Quintessence which are 5 magical beings who convene to decide the fate of things. The Quintessence, at times, is made up of (of all beings, mind you!) The Wizard Shazam, Zeus, Highfather, The Phantom Stranger and Ganthet. At various times, Spectre has "filled in" for the Phantom Stranger.
It’s important to remember that both Religion and Magic are lumped together at BOTH companies. (And several others as well.) Such as, why is Doctor Strange’s foe Mephisto (who is and isn’t at times actually Satan.)? Hellboy blurs the line.
Re: Wolverine. Dislocation of joints never bugged me. What HAS sort of bugged me is his regenerative ability. Muscles are built by tearing the muscle fibers and regeneration over the next day or two. So, whenever Wolverine strains to do anything, he’d be building muscle mass almost immediately. If he ever did dumbell curls, his biceps would become thicker than his torso. Just walking around with a metal skeleton would make his legs become tree trunks.
So, that’s why I tend to pay no attention to realistic details in comics. I’d drive myself insane.
@Prax: You just blew my mind. Now I get that scene in Kingdom Come a lot better now. lol
Also with the Mr. Fantastic eyeball thingy……I believe in Silver Surfer: Requiem, JMS brought the topic up. Let me put down what he exactly said.
"If you can stretch out everything, then why don’t ya just sit in a nice comfy chair and stretch your eyeballs to reach the scope? Y’know, like one of them cartoons"-Ben
"He can’t…..He tried it once"-Johnny
"It didn’t work?"-Ben
"No it worked fine….But it looked so freaky that Sue told him if he ever did it again, he’d spend the next siz months sleeping on the sofa"-Johnny
So there, JMS brought it up and explained why he can’t.
Can superman sweat or use the bathroom? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jrhru_e3fRE ((sort of nsfw but just reading from a orum))
Also thats not a troll post. or me trying to step on anyone’s toes, just throwing it out there.
This article was GREAT!!
Sonia thanks so much for writing it! 😀
Ok, I’ll give this a shot:
1 Wonder Woman Jet: No clue
2 Smallville: don’t watch it
3 Hulk Pants: good point, as someone pointed out, he grows in hight and his cuffs get torn, but they shouldn’t stretch that much at the waste. Maybe the real reason Hulks angry is because he has tight pants. That would make me pretty upset. As for his shirt: remember the70’s live action TV show? The first thing Hulk would do after he changed was rip off his torn and tattered shirt and toss it to the side. Maybe this happens off panel in the comics.
4 Angel wings: They fold in and strap to his back with a harness. It’s been shown in early issues of X-Men and the first volume (series) of X-Factor
5 Spiderman’s fly: The movies use a body suit, but in the comics, it’s a two piece costume. He just pulls them down like any guy would a pair of sweat pants or whatever.
6 Spiderman 3: This was a Sam Remi film. Look at the Evil Dead trilogy. 1 was a serious horror film, 2 was horror with some silliness, and Army of Darkness had a lot of silly parts. Spiderman is known to be silly at times, so was the director, that’s why it worked.
7 Reed eye balls: He subconsciously controls his body mass almost on an atomic level. He cannot add or remove said mass, only change it’s shape and consistancy. He has often stretched just a finger or arm while the rest of his body stayed normal. Who’s to say he can’t stretch an eye ball so it stays big enough to fit in it’s socket?
8 Sue food: simple, she doesn’t eat. Look how thin she is, oh wait, you can’t! Honestly I’m not sure. It’s possible that most food becomes "infected" by her "mutation" after it’s inguested, but I really don’t know. If that’s the case, then her kids should be invisible too, and they’re not so it’s anybody’s guess.
9 Wolverine: fantastic question! It’s a shame most (if any) writers haven’t picked up on that!
10 Daredevil: He was going through sensory overload. His hearing and radar senses were so sensitive, that he needed to be in a sensory deprevation tank just to relax enough to sleep.
This thread is another testament to how great this site is. In under 24 hours, we went from talking about Wonder Woman’s jet and spidey singing to the difference between Magic and Religion and which ones are accepted in two fictional universes. God bless iFanboy!
I believe I heard an interview with (it might have been Rucka, but I can’t remember) that if WW were live action film or something, we’d see her sitting in a jet, and we’d pull out to see it’s Invisiable. The reason we see her in the comics is because just floating is to indicate that’s where she is. Could be wrong, either way, it’s all in good fun.
The Spidey zipper, I’ve read enough comics where Spider-man hits the ground or skids on something pretty hard, if the man had a zipper he’s crotch would have been burnt off by the sparks, or he’d have a permeant zipper mark on his leg (hopefully his leg).
A side thing on the Hulk Pants, if I remember correctly I think Ang Lee wanted to give the hulk no pants in his film, the studio said no. Had they said "okay" wow would have movie been looked at differently.
Did EVERYBODY lose their sense of irony in this thread?
Nice article, Sonia 😉
Nobody lost their sense of irony, they just figured that an asked question requires an answer. 🙂
I lost my sense of irony.
I started thinking about this like two days ago but here it is? Superman’s flight. In his early years he could jump very, very high and far. Accepted. They even, occassionally show the crater he would have to leave behind during his take off. BUT How does he fly? He doesn’t have wings, or a jet pack or magic. He isn’t immune from gravity because then he’d just zip off into the atmospher making working as a reporter very tricky. Nope. Now, Bumblebees fly (or this is the latest theory I’ve heard) by vibrating their bumblefur at an incredible rate thus heating up the air around them (or something) which allows the hot air to bouy them up and around, and since they’re pretty much filed with only fluff thus they "fly". Is Superman covered in tiny thick hairs which vibrate thus allowing him to float? How could people not notice Clark’s lycanthropy problem? It’s pretty impractical is my point here.
@CatEyedFox-I think that the issue bring up is past impractical and goes into impossible.
There really is no good explanation for flight without propulsion or some sort of ‘magic.’ I just went on the assumption that he has limited TK or limited manipulation of gravity, in that in either he can only focus the powers on himself. That is as good a reason as any for why someone can do something impossible.
But hey, maybe someone has a better explanation.
@cateyedfox There’s a bizarre notion (probably started by Byrne, he liked to explain everything) that Superman comes from a high gravity world, thus he weighs so little on Earth, he can propel himself upward and forward with a little jump. (Think George Reeve jumping on and off boxes on the 50s TV show). It’s silly and doesn’t stand up to scrutiny, but none of Superman’s powers can really be explained rationally as being the product of being on a different world. He’s super strong because his muscles are denser from living on a high gravity planet, yet he can fly because he weighs less, there’s a logical fallacy in there.
Ha … Funny.
These always cheer up my day.
OK, it was obvious that this post would lead to six thousand answers, some good, some bad, some obscene. And that by doing so we would all be nerding out in the biggest, predictable way. But of Sonia’s ten implausible things, which seems the MOST implausible. Which resists all rational explanations and No Prize attempts?
I think it is the Hulk pants. OK, he buys purple stretchy pants at wholesale prices and always wears them under his clothing so that he doesn’t nude up when he Hulks up. But why do they rip at the knee? Why not get a stretchy shirt? Why not another color? And those pants sure don’t look like stretch pants most of the time. Dockers relaxed fit, for certain.
Well, either Hulk’s pants or the Spider-dancing. That was unearthly awful.
@Prax – just getting back to this today, but I believe there’s been no "true" god since, well, continuity. I remember Zero Hour well, and I’m familiar with the quintessence, but Ostrander’s Spectre series ran after Zero Hour, didn’t it? That was always about God. I think they choose to address it as they always do (and have to) in comics continuities — all gods are real. But there’s always a sense that there’s a Creator behind all of it, one that they can never address because that would seem like playing favor. So it’s just simply not really addressed in concrete ways.
That said, I think I had a hard time summing up my comment to TNC yesterday. A simpler way to put it is this: Magic and the Spiritual all fall under the supernatural — that’s any phenomena that deals with non-corporeal realms beyond our own. Magic is a way to manipulate/harness it, while ghosts and metaphysical beings are representations of it.
Is that a fair Marvel/DC Encyclopedia version of it?
😀
that was fun and way too nerdy. 😉
@ REED RICHARDS : he tried stretching his eyeballs before. it was never shown but I think it was talked about in one of the F4 movies. Sue didn’t like and punished him in some way.
Yeah. Poor Spidey. About his fly and being a dancing emo boy.
Here comes Noob, late to the game, and completely off-topic, but does Spidey still have that Spidey Spot Light Belt Buckle that he used to cast fear into the hearts of criminals?
@Prax strangely my dad, who continues to roll his eyes whenever I present him with hypotheticals like this, said something very similar. According to him because the gravity on Krypton might have been *heavier* than earth’s gravity, his muscularture developed like a cat’s, that is designed store and distribute kinetic energy at an excellerated rate without creating craters… or something. I can also see it like working like a flying squirrel, with his cape acting like the flaps.
As silly and "pointless" these hypothetical are excellent mind exercises. We force our brains to think logically about the illogical, and even if the answer if "it’s still impossible" thinking keeps our neurons buff and healthy. LIke running on a treadmill for the brain.
one that always stumps me….
If Adamantium and Vibrainium are indestructible metals have can they heat, mold, shape, lace them into objects??? eg; Captain America’s shield, Omega Red’s tendrils, Black Panther’s claws?, and wolvies bone claws??? huh? anyone???
@Jesse
The metal that cannot be altered is Adamantium. It is created in liquid form, but once cooled, that’s it.
Vibranium is mined in Wakanda and can be smelted, etc, but in solid form it has properties that complement the ADT very nicely.
@unoob– Yes, he still uses it every so often.
@Jesse– Vibranium is durable because it absorbs sound/energy waves, as well as kinetic energy. It is very hard to damage, but not indestructible. The reason why Cap’s Shield is indestructible is because it is steel/vibranium alloy (not Adamantium/Vibranium as sometimes thought because Adamantium was "invented" over 20 years later in Avengers 67. I should be an editor) and molded in a discus shape that further aids in the deflection of residual energy that the vibranium may not absorb.
Unoob was right about Adamantium, and to explain how Omega Red’s tendrils are flexible and fold back into his wrists, they are made up of several adamantium rings that collapes into themselves when not in use. Think something like the telescopic toy lightsabers, only the tendrils probably use a type of flexible piston system on the inside to allow them to bend.
And Wolverine’s bone claws are under the adamantium. The adamantium bonded to his whole skeleton, including his bone claws.
Is vibranium why caps shield can bouce off walls and people’s heads, going "doing doing" and then somehow ending back into his hands? I keep trying to visualise that in my head but i keep coming up with bad 1970s style "special" effects.
I will say this. If I looked up and saw some chick flying through the air in a seated position, I would think thats the lamest flying pose I have ever seen. It will make some of the Dragon Ball Z flying poses look awsome in comparison.
I think the fact that it’s a Vibranium/steel alloy is why it bounces off of objects instead of it "clanging" and falling to the ground like any other piece of steel would. I don’t remember any ordinary Vibranium acting like that, but I could be wrong. The Vibranium may absorb enough kinetic energy on impact to prevent destroying the object, and distribute the remaining energy through the steel to "push" off the object with a slightly smaller amount of force so it doesn’t lose much velocity. In a nut shell, it deflects itself off the wall, or thug, or whatever.
It returns to him however out of nothing but skill. He plans every throw, and knows the shield well enough to know how hard to throw it at a given object to make it bounce a certain way. In the early issues of Tales of Suspense When Cap and Iron Man shared the book, Stark put Magnets on the shield and Cap’s glove. Cap would flip a switch, and the shield whould fly back. Thankfully, those days are over. lol
Wolverine falls apart the second you think about his powers. His body will spit out bullets (at least in the movies, unsure about comics) so you’d think that it’s spit out the adamantium as well. Even if it’s bonded to his bones, there’s nothing stopping his bones from "shedding" the outer layer. Also, any scene where they sedate him bothers me… if his body can recover from normally fatal wounds that in a matter of seconds, it should be able to expel the drugs from his bloodstream so fast that he’d barely even get dizzy.
What really bothers me about putting logic into Wolverine, and I’ll admit this is more of a bad writing thing than a powers thing, is every time someone knows who he is threatens to kill him… Threaten to kill the guy who has survived atomic blasts, right. Let me know how that works out of you. To make it worse, it seems to always be a Weapon X scientist with a dinky little pistol or something.
Angel DOES have hollow bones like a bird. But I never bought that "folding the wings down" thing either. Always seemed kind of wacky.