Hey, look! It’s another G.I. JOE: RISE OF COBRA trailer!

They’ve disabled embedding on this one, so you’ll have to make with the clicky click on this one.

I still say there are some things that I’ve seen in the trailers that look like they could be okay and are very reminiscent of what I think of as G.I. Joe. The first 31 seconds of this trailer would certainly qualify as that.

But then…

But then those goddamn accelerator suits!


  1. And now it’s gone slapstick as well. This is gonna suck balls.

  2. I understand the anger over the accelerator suits, because, well…, they are dumb.  However, I am hoping that they play a small role in the movie and then they ditch them to be REAL AMERICAN HEROES.  Cause real heroes don’t need no stinkin’ accelerator suits.

  3. just have fun with it. 

  4. Snake eyes looks sweet though.

  5. shit

  6. Storm shadow don’t

  7. Any movie that has a Wayans brother, you know will be hilarious.

  8. Anyone have any thoughts on the rumor they fired the director to this after the screening and hired more editors to work on the final cut of the movie?

  9. @doddzilla – If they make a sequel that is Snake-eyes and Storm Shadow done right, I will be all over it, but surrounding them with this crew of monkeys in magic suits will probably make this unwatchable.

    I want to Wayans brothers to leave the movie industry and never be allowed back in.  Are their movies profitable?  I don’t mind Damon, but if the others continue on their present course they will go down in history as the most embarrassing example of why the terrorists hate us.

  10. I still think it could be kind of cool, but I really hope they don’t focus too much on the slapstick elements seen in the trailer. A little bit of that sort of comedic relief is fine, but it can’t be overdone.

  11. Go Go Power Rangers…oh wait this isn’t a power rangers movie? Friggen suits, throwing me off here.

  12. What sucks most it that the accelerator suits have a strong resemblence to the Cobra B.A.T.



  13. well they did one thing right they got a hot girl to play scarlet. all in all the only way this movie can be shit is if the dont have a kick ass snake eyes storm shadow fight

  14. The girl who plays Scarlett was the green alien in Star Trek.

    You know what’s strange?  The Ghostbusters-ish scene at the end.  Are the Joes, like, the best there is and all that?  I don’t know.  It’s not the direction I would have gone.

    Also, if you’re going to say, hey all that stuff that already exists, the vehicles and suits and all that, is goofy, we’re gonna redesign it, why would you make more new stuff that’s just as goofy.  It’s not inherently better or anything, is it?

    Oh well.  I’m not terribly concerned as I hold no stake in this movie.  I hope people go have fun with it.

  15. Each preview seems to put more and more focus on those suits. They really seem to think those suits are a draw. "That’s our selling point, there. We just need to show the people more of the Roboforce armor."

    I’d swear I saw an underwater city in there right before the 1:00 mark.

  16. I’m not even going to look at it as a GI joe movie.  I’m just going to watch it like a seprate movie all together.  If you put it that way, the suits look sick!

  17. Is there going to be a special edition podcast for this? If so, then it’s going to be amazing (Love when the iFanboys hate a movie for whatever reason, I’ve listened to the "Wanted" and "Punisher: War Zone" podcast more then any other movie podcast)

  18. Yes there will be a special edition podcast.  Which is why I’m going to have to go see it.  But I got into preview screenings for those other movies, and I’m actually going to have to pay for this one. Ugh.

    Tell you what though, if this wasn’t a GI Joe movie, I’d run screaming in the other direction.  As it stands, I’m being dragged forcefully under my shuddering fear.  Transformers too!

  19. This has suck written all over it.

  20. Without the tech suits and the ability to punch, the action figures won’t sell well enough. Who wants a TMNT figure without a skateboard? So they insert it to the movie for less than a minute. You don’t want the toys to suck.

  21. @Josh – You didn’t enjoy the first Transformers?

  22. @GENX: No, he did not. Here’s the show we did on it. This was where Josh earned his fun-hating reputation.

  23. This has epic suck written all over it, but in that cheesy, have-a-few-beers kind of way.

    The good: Snake-Eyes, Sienna Miller in tight leather, that Scarlett chick is pretty hot, looks like some decent aerial effects, I like the nanobots

    The bad: everything else.

  24. @conor and Josh – I would argue that the podcast that Conor posted isn’t where Josh earned his fun-hating rep (he already had that), it is where he earned his I-don’t-like-watching-ridiculously-over-designed-robots-piss-on-a-respected-actor-who-threw-away-his-reputation-to-act-in-a-peice-of-shit-Michael-Bay-movie reputation. 

    Sorry if I am putting words in your mouth, Josh.

    P.S. My hyphen key just exploded.

  25. Sigh… well, guess this means my next film won’t be until August. I have no want to see this. Even less so now than after the last trailer. Oh well.

  26. From what I hear those accelerator suits are only in one small part of the movie.

  27. @miyamotofreak: That’s what I was/am hoping, but then as Jimski noted above, they keep focusing on the suits more and more with each new piece of marketing. It could be an elaborate feint, but…

  28. They’re just trying ham-handedly to get Iron Man fans methinks.

  29. First shot looks like something out of Star Wars or Star Trek.

    Then you got those suits which pretty much is basing off of Iron Man

    The Effiel Tower falling seems like something out of Independence Day

    Why is there an underwater city?

    My problem with this film is that there is no originality to it by the scenes we have seen so far. They might not matter much to the overall scheme of the film; but the ‘best’ shots they are showing for the trailers look like they are ripping off from other films. I am fine with this film being either a bit slapstick or humor. Come on, it’s GI JOE! Based on adaptations from a toy line! You can have some fun with this.

    Having said that, you can tell this is gonna be epic bad. Like ‘Street Fighter: The Movie’ bad. Maybe it’ll have camp value like that film in the future; but you can just tell this is gonna suuuucccckkk!

  30. Forgot to mention: It was delievered pretty bad by Channing Tatum in this version of the trailer (and it has more diaologue to it) but I do love the line he says:

    ‘Technically we don’t exsist. We answer to no one. And when all else fails, we don’t.’

    It’s cheesy as hell, but I tell you that if I was either the age of five to ten….I would think that is a great line. Also….if the director got fired after the worst test screening in Paramount history; that should be the final warning to anyone wanting to see this.

  31. This movie won’t be as bad as Punisher, but it won’t be as good as Wolverine.

    Either way, not a great place to be.

  32. This was the first trailer I saw that made think that maybe it won’t be as bad as I think.  Sure, it’s not what I grew up with, but I’m pretty sure that’s okay.  It might just be a fun campy action movie.

  33. Call me crazy, but I’m down for seeing this movie twice. Once to get it out of the way, then the second to watch the SE vs. SS fight again, you know that fight’s gonna be all levels of badassness!!!

  34. Let’s all face it. We are going to see the movie, we know its going to be the worst thing ever made, and we are ok with that. We are going to see it becuase we just cant help ourselves. We have to see atleast three crappy films a year, and this has to be one of them.

  35. I’ll be skipping it along with Transformers 2. Personally, I’m done with the "it’s based on a toy/video game I love so I’ll go see it" mentality. Seeing this crap only means that they’ll churn out more just like it, and "it’s got explosions and it’ll be fun" is no excuse. Movies can be fun without being terrible!

    If I need to see a bad movie, there’s a sequel to Hobgoblins out on video today.

  36. Oh yeah Transformers 2 is getting very negative reviews. So yeah….our childhood is ruined this summer 🙁

  37. My childhood is intact, thank you.  They can go do a bad Marshall Bravestar/Silverhawks crossover too.  I just don’t like bad movies.

  38. @TheNextChampion: Did Michael Bay and Stephen Summers Get a hold of a time machine, and travel to the 80’s to smash and break all your Transformer and GI Joe toys/videos? 🙂

  39. Dissapointment is seeing previews for G-Force and seeing Hamsters. Ain’t no goddam Hamsters in G-Force!!!!

  40. Jeff Reid Jeff Reid (@JeffRReid) says:

    @josh: I totally feel you on the first "Transformers" movie.  I’m certainly not planning on seeing the sequel or this movie.  Nothing seems to really be grabbing me this summer.

  41. @MasterXell I really don’t think so. At least for me, I won’t be wasting my money on this film. I already wasted my money on Terminator Salvation, but I’ve avoided the other box office landmindes this summer. (Land of the Lost? Wolverine? Transformers 2?) For those interested, Roger Ebert has an amazing review of Transformers 2 on his Web site that is, quite possibly, the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.

  42. They could have at least made the suits more unique looking. And with specialized suits for different mission types or something. On the plus side, Snake Eyes definitely looks badass (except for the rubber lips on his facemask…) 

    If they do go for campy fun, I’m hoping for a classic GI JOE PSA at the end of the movie 😀

  43. @WintheWonderBoy: Well not in the 80’s….I’m a late bloomer when it comes to GI Joe. I was born in 1989….but yes they did take a time machine and ruined my childhood. It was probably their idea to make the Batsuit have rubber nipples and have ‘Batman and Robin’ to be made in the first place.

  44. Anyone wondering what to see this summer clearly hasn’t heard of Moon.

  45. @flakbait I can’t wait to see Moon, sadly it isn’t playing in my stupid city.

  46. I know this isn’t a moon thread, but Moon was so damn good it hurt.

  47. I’m going to try to see this with a few friends, I’m hoping that it’s as epic fail as Street Fighter. Because I can take bad and go MST3K on it, but not boring, and this movie doesn’t look like it’ll be boring. 

  48. @Conner:  Thanks for the heads up on the podcast I am still fairly new so I’m not completely caught up on past podcast.  I don’t think Josh hates fun I just think he has a quiet disdain for it.  I mean come on Transfromers was entertaining (barring John Turturro’s perfromance – seriously Turturro WTF).

  49. I’ll see it if enough people say it’s good, but I’m not going to hold my breath. I don’t take the stance of the film "destroying my childhood" or anything, but I am a fan of GI Joe for a reason….and little if anything I’ve seen of this so far reminds me of GI Joe. My expectations are so low in fact, that I’ll probably like this movie if/when I see it.

  50. What do i think about the trailer? i can’t wait for Moon.

  51. How closely does one want their movies to be to the source material?  I saw Watchmen and I am still not sure if I like it because (excluding the ending) that was the most faith full adaption of a movie based on a property from another medium I have ever seen, but as I was watching it I felt like I paid twice for one story.  I personally think the thing that hurt G.I. JOE more then the suits are the bad, bad special effects. 

  52. To give you an idea how much of an epic fail this movie is going to be.

    Paramount fired the Director and Editor after they got back the test screen results.

    This movie scored one of the lowest Test Screening Scores Paramount hasever had.


    So the story goes like this-

    after a test screening wherein the film tested the lowest score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount, the executive who pushed for the movie Brad Weston had Stephen Sommers, the super hack director of the film fired. Removed. Locked out of the editing room.

    Stuart Baird, a renowned "fixer" editor was brought it to try to see if it could be made releasable. Meanwhile producer Lorenzo whose turkey IMAGINE THAT explodes this weekend as the new bomb in theatres (also championed by Weston) was told his services were no longer needed on the film either.

    Sommers was then forced by his William Morris agents to pretend that he was working on Tarzan over at Warner Brothers doing design work, even though that film doesn’t even have a good script yet. When word of the firing started to be whispered about in Hollywood, Sommers was summoned back to the editing room- but only to save appearances, Baird is still editing the movie with studio input.

    Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, who turned down other offers from the property to go with the script that was rushed in 8 weeks by Stuart Beattie because of the writer’s strike is frantic that this will destroy the brand and is distancing himself from the pending catastophe.

  53. @kingvyper: thank you, that’s fantastic!

  54. @kingviper: thanks for the info, I thought I had read it somewhere.  Didn’t realize it was the editor as well. 

  55. This should mean a lot to anyone wanting to see this film. If they need to get an editor who is known to make very shitty films until at least watchable….that is a problem. Notice how they arent saying he could make the film ‘better’ or ‘great’, just ‘releasable’.

    Maybe they should just scrap the whole project and not show it to the public.

  56. @THENEXTCHAMPION: Not showing it to the public is not possible. Because it exist it will be seen, even if the studios scraped it would eventually see the light of the internet (i.e. leaked copy of the Wolverine movie) for all to judge and critizie.

  57. @TNC   The studio cannot just eat the $50 to $100 million spent on the project (production and marketing).  That would be a serious breach of fiduciary duty to the financiers of the film and to the stockholders of paramount (I believe that they are public).  They have to attempt to recoup some of the outlay.

    As for the idea of ruining people’s childhood that gets tossed around every time a bad licensed movie comes out, well it is just absurd.  When you found out that there is no Santa, did that ruin all your past holidays?  (apologies to all who did not grow up with the Santa myth)  And that was YOUR PARENTS lying to you.  Come on now, ruining childhood is ridiculous hyperbole.

  58. Thanks, MisterJ. You just ruined every Christmas I ever had retroactively.

  59. Don’t worry, the Easter Bunny, Great Pumpkin, and Leprachauns (sp??) are still real.

  60. It doesn’t matter that Santa doesn’t exist, but why did he have to be in a Coca Cola commercial? Talk about a money whore.

  61. no

  62. On second thought, it’s going to be great. I would love a GI Joe movie with AIM employees as the joes. Same suits = more awesomeness.

  63. It’s weird how I want the live action movie to be a big dumb, distracting cartoon, but loved how straight faced and dire the Eliis cartoon was…

  64. I will say this, the crowd I saw TRANSFORMERS with loved this trailer and laughed heartily at the end joke.

  65. @conor: If any of them are Joe fans….they are dead to me!


  66. Eh, it looks OK I guess.

    But why in the hell is Snake Eyes sword serrated at the bottom? that shit is banned by the Geneva Convention. Where’s your honor Snake Eyes?

    Also, that scene with the joes flipping through the streets is (nearly) movement-movement identical to the mummies in the double-decker bus chase in Mummy 2.