200 Words with Paul Dini #47 – Batmobiles, Bitches! Batmobiles!

January 20, 2008


Huzzah! I have gotten the Detroit automakers back to work! And it was all sooo simple! The big three don’t need bailouts, they need Batmobiles! Yes, you heard me right — BATMOBILES! 

Lookie here, barring the Aston Martin DB5, the coolest cars ever made are the various Batmobiles Bruce Wayne keeps stashed in the Batcave. So what Detroit must do ASAP is license several popular Batmobile designs from DC Comics over the years and mass produce them as functional street vehicles. Okay, you don’t have to do the bubble-topped Futura from the 60’s TV show, but look at Neal Adams’ sleek Corvette-inspired redesign from “The Joker’s Five-Way Revenge.” That thing’s ready to roll. And what Soccer Mom wouldn’t love to own the Tumbler from the recent movies? Think of the empowerment!

Seriously, you had the toy version, the kiddie car version, and maybe even the kid’s bed version. You know you’d buy them if they made them. (Well, I would, and Harry Knowles, and probably Bill Morrison, and maybe Chip Kidd, that’s four right there.) Warner/DC, Detroit and the US economy would profit big time. Life would be good again.

All thanks to the goddamn Batmobile.

Stinger missiles optional.

 


Paul Dini is the Emmy and Eisner Award winning writer of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, Detective Comics, Countdown among many, many other things. You can find him online at either kingofbreakfast.livejournal.com or http://www.jinglebelle.com/.

Comments

  1. YES!!!  I will park’er in the driveway right next to my PokeVan.

  2. I would totally buy a 1960s Futura Batmobile.  And I would drive it everywhere, even to the store across the street.

    Or I would by the battering ram Bathead Batmobile.

  3. Seriously, I’m willing to go into horrendous debt if any one of the Big Three madethe bubble-topped Futura.

  4. OK – I’ll ask the nerdy question.

    Isn’t everything with Wayne-tech supposed to be one-of-a-kind? I had always imagined that Bruce keeps things secret by having things made at a reductionist enough level that any one individual has no idea what the part might be used as (i.e., one hand does not know what the other is doing). Only a few select individuals would actually assemble the final product, which may make mass-production impossible.

    Sorry for being the guy to rain on everyone’s Bat-parade. I would love a grappling hook & Batarang, however.

  5. Put me down for the Bobble-top Adam West Batmobile too! That car is a timeless icon!

  6. @coltrane68: I don’t understand your question…

  7. i would buy the tumbler in a heart beat, but only if it had the batpod and was fully weaponized.  i could totally see myself selling my soul for that, yea

  8. or the one from the 90s cartoon.  i have the toy of that and i just love that freakin design.  itd be the legnthn of three houses!

  9. Awesome.

  10. Where do I sign up? Put me down for the ’60’s TV version. Huzzah!

  11. …and an extra helping of that Bat-shark repellent.

  12. I’ll pay ridiculous amounts for the batmobile from Burton’s Batman!

  13. It’s all about the shumaker batmobiles people

     

  14. I’d want one

  15. As sacrilegious as this is to me; no way would I want the Batmobile!

    You’ve seen today’s gas prices? God knows how Bruce keeps up with them these days, especially since that car can sometimes go over 200 miles per hour. How he can go more then a block without refueling is astonishing to me.

  16. i want one! so bad!

  17. Me + Tumbler= fun times at rush hour!

  18. I’ve lusted after the Bat Corvette for years, it’s long been my "lottery car".

  19. Not for me… I want the TMNT cartoon van. Couldn’t find a picture so here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE2sse2Y5I8

    with the guns (or whatever they are) and the opening roof and the angry bumper.

  20. After that, shredder’s big and white thing that digs all the time for no reason, and after that this bikes:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r69SgNdFoRs

    They had every possible feature on them and if they didn’t those guys would take them to the garage and add that feature… 

  21. I would loooovvvve an Adam West Batmobile. I can see it now rolling down the street blasting the Ratatat Remix of Biggies "Party and Bullshit" or M.I.A.’s "Paper Planes" out the Bat-Stereo System….. I must somehow make this happen.

  22. @Conor,

     

    I was just suggesting that Paul’s rather funny suggestion that Batmobiles could get Detroit back to work is impractical. The cars are great, but mass-production is virtually impossible.

  23. Bah, they need to mass produce a "Jokermobile", the pinnacle of bling:  http://flickr.com/photos/greenstripes/2398580773/

  24. @coltrane68: Well, yeah – he’s not being serious.

  25. Mass production of the batmobile is no less practical than mass production of the high end Aston Martins or Maybachs (which are allegedly hand crafted).  Anyhoo, you can make a batmobile at home: http://www.chickslovethecar.com/mISCbUyBatmobile.aspx

  26. @conor: I get that. In retrospect, it was an idiotic comment on my part. I just had this idea in my head of poor auto workers trying to assemble parts for Batmobiles and…

    OK, it’s an idiotic idea. Never mind.

  27. While I would definitely want the 1989 Keaton/Burton Batmobile, but only if it comes in automatic. 🙂

     

     

  28. @coltrane68: Weeeell, I mean if the choice for the auto worker was assembling a Batmobile and not having a job I think they’d say "Atomic battery to power, turbine to speed."

  29. @conor. That cracked me up. Nicely done.

  30. Paul, believe it or not, I had the same idea a few months ago! I presented it to Kayre and she just rolled her eyes and gave me a half dozen reasons why it would never work. I think it’s a no-brainer!