Top 5: Poseurs Who Have Wielded Thor’s Hammer

It's right there on the side: "Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of Thor." It seems like a tall order, but there are days when Asgard's giving away worthiness like it's Halloween candy.

Level of difficulty:  Nothing from an issue of What If?, no outer space pony monsters who leapt immediately to mind the instant you saw the title of this list

 

Awesome Andy 'n' Thor's Hammer, Mjolnir

5. Miscellaneous Robots

The good news is that only worthy living beings can pick up Mjolnir. The bad news is that some beings aren't living. For them, it just comes down to upper body strength and remembering to lift with the knees. You'd think Odin's wizardlawyers would have closed this loophole by now, but it has happened several times.

 

4. Red Hulk

Like just about everything in this Hulk arc, the "what happens in zero gravity stays in zero gravity" dodge was nonsense and hogwash. Let us never speak of it again. This concludes the editorializing portion of your Top 5 List. (To be completely fair, this was not the first time the "zero gravity" cheat was used. Precedent had been set.)

 

 

3. Superman 

Well, come now. There's nothing he isn't worthy to do. Borrow your car. Date your sister. Water your plants while you're out of town. He's flippin' Superman.

 

2. The Planet Earth

"Hmm. We can't lift it off the ground… but what if we got the ground to lift it?"

"Excellent work, Bob! Real 'outside-the-box' thinking. Put that at the top of the white board. Okay, great brainstorming session, everyone. Let's break for lunch and meet back here in thirty."

 

1. Captain America

Worthy of wielding the hammer of the gods, but not worthy enough to wear his own uniform. That's politics for you.

Comments

  1. The Planet Earth cheat is actually pretty awesome.

    That picture of Superman sums up why JLA/Avengers was awesome.

  2. I meant to say “That Planet Earth cheat is actually pretty clever” but clearly I had awesome on the brain.

  3. Ummmm, I hope Superman can control himself and his composure.  He might just umm…drop the hammer.  I wonder who Superman’s fav little rascal is….Sinner!

  4. So BRB is not a poseur?

  5. Nice list, Jim! I’d have snuck Wonder Woman onto the list somewhere, but I suppose putting her AND Superman on it would have made the thing too DC heavy.

    That’s interesting that Cap has used the hammer at one point. I never knew that. Has Spider-Man ever try to lift it? He’d fail, of course, but seeing him try would be kinda fun.

  6. @nikbackm No. He’s awesome.

  7. @JeffR  I think Spidey would be worthy, and maybe Luke Cage? What qualifies worthiness according the forgers of the hammer?

  8. I’m pretty sure Wonder Woman also held the hammer in that Marvel vs DC crossover.

  9. I though for certain I would see future Thor on this list. I think his name was Dargo.

  10. BRB is more than awesome

  11. Didn’t Dr. Doom pick up Mjolnir once? I can’t remember why, but he gave it up willingly.

  12. Good to see my boy Thunderstrike isn’t on this list.

  13. Paul Montgomery Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    @nikbackm  Read the fine print. “No outer space pony monsters.” 

  14. BRB doesn’t sleep, he waits.

  15. i’m pretty sure the singer from Lead Zepplin could pick the hammer up.

    but is he actually died? i dunno

  16. I really like the concept of wizardlawyers.  Would make for some interesting Law & Order episodes.

  17. Why no Beta Ray Bill?  For shame.  He was so screwed out of the hammer.
    Odin’s always grabbing the hammer away.

    @edward: Robert Plant’s still alive, but no longer hammer worthy.

  18. Cap!

  19. I would DEFINITELY add Storm and Wonder Woman to this list.  Putrid.

  20. @PozrDu  Read the words at the top.

  21. Where did marvel and dc crossover? I missed something apparently.

  22. @octoberrust  JLA/Avengers came out in 2003. It was probably the last time a thing like that was even corporately possible.

  23. @octoberrust  You can learn more about DC and Marvel crossovers here.

  24. Have they ever clarified what they mean by “worthy?” Because Thor is kind of a douche, so why is HE worthy? 

    did anyone else read the Beta Ray Bill mini, where he was destroying worlds before Galactus could feed on them in attempt to starve the Big G?  He had to trick this race of aliens to leave their planet and in doing so, he was no longer deemed “worthy” so he couldn’t lift his own hammer anymore. I thought that was a really cool touch.

    If Spider-Man isn’t worthy, than NOBODY is. As Dr. Strange said, Spider-Man, along with Cap, is the best of us.” 

    I always thought Colossus would probably be able to lift it, too. Also, the Thing. 

  25. Before that Robot has to “put the Hammer back”, I hope he bludgeons Thor’s letterer with it. That font made my bells palsy act up – time for a bowl hit.

  26. there was that thorcules thing.

  27. That Thor issue where Cap picked up the hammer is just filled with so much awesomeness that words have a hard time describing it.

  28. Seems like they’re padding the Top 5 because they couldn’t find enough otherwise to fill it to be including Captain America in there (not surprising though given how few have ever done anything with Thor’s hammer other than Thor).

    Loki actually should be in the Captain America spot, since he once swapped forms with Thor and was shown using Mjolnir without difficulty even though he’s one of the least worthy and most unworthy sorts around for that.