GREAT E-MAIL THREADS: The JLA Work on Thanksgiving

Hey iFanbase, Timmy Wood here. The following is from a series of emails that were sent around the Justice League of America. I pulled a Javier Bardem and got a hold of them. Read them quickly before Batman takes them down. 

 

 

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org to JLA

Alright everyone, we need someone to cover duty on the Watchtower Thanksgiving day and night. I know it is a holiday and everyone has their plans but someone has to be here.
Any volunteers?

Superman Supes@JLA.org

Sorry, I can’t.

Wonder Woman WonderWoman@JLA.org

With great apologies, I cannot.

The Flash Flash@JLA.org

I have the entire Flash Family over. That’s a lot of people. Sorry.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org

Look, I know we are busy but I have worked Watchtower duty the last three years in a row. One of you, just one of you can step up and volunteer. Come on.

Zatanna Annataz@JLA.org

I’m in Vegas doing a Charity show.

The Atom Atom_Choi@JLA.org

I’m busy. So sorry.

Green Lantern HalGANGNAMSTYLEJordan@JLA.org

Why can’t J’onn do it. He isn’t from Earth. I doubt he even celebrates Thanksgiving.

Wonder Woman WonderWoman@JLA.org

Now that is just rude, Hal.

Green Lantern HalGANGNAMSTYLEJordan@JLA.org

I am just saying! He is from Mars. It’s an option.

Martian Manhunter JonnJonzz@JLA.org

It’s okay, Diana.
Hal, your Thanksgiving actually lines up with a Martian holiday that I do celebrate in solitude and mourning since I am the last of my kind left. Thank you for thinking of me.

Green Lantern HalGANGNAMSTYLEJordan@JLA.org

No prob! I am at Barry’s for TanksGiving so I can’t do it (I don’t need to bring anything right Bar?) Anyone got Rocket Red’s number? Maybe he can do it.
Also any y’all seen Skyfall yet?

The Atom Atom_Choi@JLA.org

I loved it!

Zatanna Annataz@JLA.org

No spoilers haven’t seen it yet!

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org

I am not going to force someone to work purely because they don’t celebrate the holiday and if you want to talk about James Bond you can do it in another email thread. Now, there are many of you that are keeping quiet. Booster Gold? Cyborg? Anyone else?

Hawkman Hawk_Man@JLA.org

I am fighting a war on Thanagar right now.

Booster Gold CASH4GOLD@JLA.org

I can’t. I am in the parade.

Cyborg Sigh_Borg@JLA.org

I am volunteering as security at the Turkey Day Classic football game.

Adam Strange Strange@JLA.org

I am fighting a war on Rann right now.

Green Arrow BigSexyArrow@JLA.org

Thanksgiving is a holiday celebrated to purely so we will forget about the terrible things we did to the Native American community when we first arrived in this country. There are several articles on Snopes I would like to share with you all when we have the opportunity.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org

So you will do it?

Green Arrow BigSexyArrow@JLA.org

No. Helping Roy cook dinner for HIS Thanksgiving.
Why don’t you ask that Firestorm kid? He is always bugging me about being involved in JLA stuff.

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org

Does anyone have his email address?

The Flash Flash@JLA.org

I do. Forwarding it now.

Firestorm FireStorm@Hotmail.com

Wow, guys it’s great to hear from you. I unfortunately cannot help out. I am volunteering at a soup kitchen but please keep me in mind for the future. Also, I have been emailing you guys forever about my membership. Any word on whether I have been approved for the JLA yet?

Black Canary BlkCanary@JLA.org

Alright Firestorms out. Come one. One of you has to do it! Somebody!

Batman TheBatman@JLA.org

I would just like to remind everyone that while we may take the day off, crime and catastrophe doesn’t. We are heroes and we should be jumping at the chance to be filling a void no matter how small. Police, firemen and EMT’s don’t have the luxury of having today off. Keep that in mind next time an e-mail like this gets sent out.

That being said I cannot do it. I am having all the Robins and Batgirls over for dinner, we have been planning this for months.

Aquaman AquaKing@JLA.org

FINE! I’ll do it.

AND I liked Casino Royal better.

 


Timmy Wood is a comedian and writer living in New York City. Thanksgiving is his favorite holiday. He loves the parade, and the turkey and all the pumpkin pie. Follow him on Twitter. 

Comments

  1. JokersNuts JokersNuts says:

    lol, Hal or Firestorm should have done it. Also, RIP poor Ryan Choi… :-(

  2. Wrkngclasshero (@joinedtofollow) says:

    That was hilarious. Thanks for the bit of levity. Havea great Thanksgiving!

  3. The email addresses and the fact that Firestorm uses Hotmail made me LOL.

  4. Major Disaster should have done it!

  5. mrmarky mrmarky says:

    The breasts seem unusually large in these pictures. And I ain’t talkin about the turkey!

  6. mrmarky mrmarky says:

    Why do superheroes always wear their costumes and masks while hanging out together? You would think that for thanksgiving they would kick back and relax without the spandex.

    • bub64882 bub64882 says:

      Bacause we wouldn’t be able to tell who anyone is. Oh look, it’s a buncha blonde white dudes eating turkey. They must have just come from the gym.

    • mrmarky mrmarky says:

      Its one of the reasons I can’t read the Avengers or Justice League. I keep yelling “dude take the stupid mask off! everyone knows who you are here!”

    • Skypants Skypants says:

      If I recall this issue correctly, a few villains actually attacked the teams while they were having dinner. Same thing happened at Ollie & Dinah’s wedding.

  7. Urthona Urthona says:

    Noticed Atom’s email address…is Ryan Choi the Atom again?

  8. So this era is basically my own Silver Age, the JSA and JLA both existing at the same time and having turkey dinner.

  9. pyynk pyynk says:

    That’s some quality laughs, right there. Bonus points for the Hal / J’onn interaction and Booster’s email address.

  10. IBlagden says:

    It looks like the JLA needs a Canadian member.

  11. CharlieRock CharlieRock says:

    Hal Gangnam Style ! That was so funny

  12. Andrew Andrew says:

    This is wonderful.