Every time I pick up an issue of "Ultimatum", I'm hopeful that I'll finally get to see some of the Loeb that we all enjoy. The Loeb that's written "The Long Halloween", "Superman For All Seasons", and the Marvel "color" books (Daredevil: Yellow, Spider-Man: Blue, Hulk: Grey, etc.), but instead it's always the same mindless bullshit that makes his "Hulk" series look like high-art.

Let me get immediatley to the worst thing I've ever seen written from him:

There's a scene in the book where Reed Richards, Doctor Doom, and Zarda travel to the Supreme Power Universe to bring Nick Fury back to the Ultimate Universe. I was pleasently suprised to see Fury since he'd been missing from the Ultimate line for so long, but then Loeb had him open his mouth, and call the visitors from the Ultimate Universe "bungholes".

"Bungholes."

This is the best Loeb could come up with?! Normally I'm pretty laid back when I read my stack. When you buy as many books per week as I do, you're bound to get a stinker every now and then, but when I read Nick Fury (who I adore in all his various incarnations) lob a Beavis-and-Butthead-minded insult Doctor Doom's way, I almost keeled over. I consider this type of writing to be "eye-rape": I didn't ask for it, but it sure as hell was forced it's way in.

I can see where Marvel's coming from. I think Loeb has some good ideas, but his execution of those ideas are pretty poor. If he could just throw out ideas and have other writers flesh them out, I think that would be much better. That said, David Finch's art was pretty good, though it looked a bit rushed, but hell, I'd rush, too, if only to make the painful experience of bringing one of these horrid scripts to life stop.

--Brent