JUSTICE LEAGUE #7

Review by: ghostmann

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Avg Rating: 3.6
 
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Written by Geoff Johns
Pencilled by Gene Ha & Gary Frank
Inked by Gene Ha & Gary Frank
Lettered by DC Lettering
Colored by Art Lyon
Cover by Jim Lee, Scott Williams, & Brad Anderson
Cover Color by Alex Sinclair

Size: 40 pages
Price: 3.99

Here it is, early Sunday morning. I just woke up, having my first cup of black coffee and catching the aroma of cooking bacon from the kitchen. Outside the rain is pitter-pattering on the roofs, making me think today will be a good day for staying in and watching movies. The only thing that can make this morning any better is……

A MOTHER FUCKING EPIC PAGE BY PAGE REVIEW OF JUSTICE LEAGUE #7!!!

Naaaa, fuck it, maybe I’ll just do a few pages, that bacon is calling to me.

*******************

PAGE 1:
Well, we finally made it to the present day with The Justice League. Thank god. This means no more team bickering and silly catch phrases and shit like that…. right? Hmmm, those little creatures look like they stepped out of The Darkness comic book. Oh, and I love Gene Ha’s art. Been a fan since Top 10.

PAGE 2:
I find it nice that there are no sound effects here. No “Ratatatat” of anything getting in the way of Gene Ha’s art.

PAGE 3:
Damn, I spoke too soon…. “BOOOOOM” is back again. I think The Justice League needs a jet or something to get around. Having Green Lantern fly you around in a green bubble looks a little silly, don’t you think? How about a cool weird-ass ship like the one The Uncanny X-Force uses?

PAGES 4 and 5:
Sweet double page spread. On the side of Green Lantern’s train construct is the word “Flathat”, what the fuck does that mean? Hang on a second, let me pop over to Wikipedia and see what it has to say…..

FROM WIKIPEDIA
“The Flat Hat is the official student newspaper at the College of William and Mary in Williamsburg, VA. It prints Tuesdays and Fridays during the College’s academic year. It began printing twice-weekly in 2007; since its inception in 1911, The Flat Hat had printed weekly.”

oh, ok.

PAGE 5:
Geoff Johns just can’t resist a good Aquaman joke can he? So is the “Orb of Ra” anything like the “Staff of Ra”? Is this Mr Street looking for the Well of Souls? Don’t forget Street, take back one kadam to honor the Hebrew God, otherwise you’ll be digging in the wrong place.

PAGE 6:
Jesus Christ, enough with the “FIGHTING” Wonder Woman. Is that all you do? At this point is doesn’t feel like a day has pasted since they defeated Darkseid. Five years? Feels more like 5 minutes.

PAGE 7:
I almost ripped up my copy of Justice League #7 after reading this page. I am going on record right now and proclaiming if “WE GOT THIS” makes it’s way into another issue of Justice League, I will officially drop this title. Justice? There is no justice in paying 3.99 to read shit like this. Batman’s expression on this pages says it all. I feel ya Bruce.

PAGE 8:
Here is Johns trying to make GL and The Flash the new Blue Beetle and Booster Gold.

PAGE 9:
scary monster

PAGE 10:
I don’t know about you, but if I had a Green Lantern ring and was battling a scary monster, I would think of something better to attack him with then a Hatchet. And here comes Aquaman, busting out his same old tired move he did on Darkseid. Why not do some control like shit on the neighborhood water supply or something? Or like get like a giant squid to follow you around? nope, just stab people in the eyeballs with your trident.

PAGE 11:
I hate this Green Lantern. Is that line about being divorced suppose to be funny? She just got attacked by her ex husband and most likely in shock, and this douche bag is gonna ask her out. Come on, enough with the lame humor.

PAGES 12, 13, 14, 15 and 16
The next 3 pages explains why Jim Lee didn’t want to draw this comic: Too much talking!

PAGE 17:
Steve and Diana sitting in a tree, k.i.s.s.i.n.g

PAGE 18:
The Justice League truly are a bunch a babies. and Batman calls the Justice League International an embarrassment? The irony’s not lost here.

PAGE 19:
Wonder Woman sounds like she wouldn’t mind her ass covered by Steve Trevor.

PAGE 20:
Steve, bro, I’ve been there man. Loves a bitch.

PAGE 21:
This new mystery villain writes just like Patrick Brosseau!

Story: 2 - Average
Art: 4 - Very Good

Comments

  1. Great review.

    Cheers.

  2. i feel the exact opposite on almost all of your points as to why this isn’t good. the two things i do agree with is that (1) johns is making GL and flash the new beetle and booster. which i like. i miss ted. and (2) green lantern carrying other league members around in a green bubble is silly and must stop.
    i think you should drop this and read something you enjoy. life is too short to be wasted on hateful reviews, especially for a bacon enthusiast.

    • No man, life’s too short NOT to do page by page reviews of Justice League comics. 😉

      I promised to drop this book if “we got this” shows up, and I will. But dude, admit it, you are gonna miss my epic Justice League reviews. Right?

    • oh and speaking of bacon, my band The Foxtails played The BaconFest in Sacramento a couple of months ago. It was a weekend long orgy of all things bacon. The bands that played did covers of songs from Kevin Bacon movies (how clever). My band did all songs from Footloose. Here is one of them:

      http://soundcloud.com/joe-carlson/bacon-preview-2

      you can check out my band here on Facebook:

      http://www.facebook.com/TheFoxtails

      cheers

    • i can’t admit that. perhaps if i shared your view. i mean, i get it. i love to hate things, too. like the current x-men books, banners on covers promoting events, formula feeding babies and circumcision.
      i kinda miss you stirring up trouble on threads like animal man and such. that was always fun. just don’t break out the crystal ball anymore 🙂

    • holy shit! I totally forgot about my crystal ball! Thanks for reminding me.

      😉

    • me and my big mouth. :p

  3. Excellent Review. Will definitely be following your other reviews as well, keep up the good work:)

  4. Steve Trevor is a real bro, perfectly contrasted by Hal Jordan who’s ring is powered by his infinite supply of douche.

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