Finally! A character I can relate with and doing something with his life. I read comic books to relate to characters. I read superhero comics to aspire to be like Batman and Superman and Spider-man and I would read issue after issue of their adventures in my parent’s basement. Back then, comics and my Beanie Babies collection were my friends when all my “friends” were calling me “ant eater” and “wasp licker” at school and would strip me naked and push me in the mud and burn all my clothes and laugh and laugh and LAUGH AT ME AND CALL ME DIARRHEA DAN!!!!! But I survived dammit!

DAMN YOU JACOBY!!!!!!

I still live in my parent’s basement, and I’m the employee of the month at K mart, and my love is still comics. However, my focus has drifted a bit. Well, focus meaning that my aspirations have shifted a bit. I still like Batman and Superman and Spider-man, but this James Gordon Jr. character really is a charmer, I must say. He seems like….like such a well balanced gentleman who loves his dad and sister and……mother. Oh Mother. Mama. No, I did do the dishes! What are you doing Mama?! What are you doing with that paperclip! She was not a whore!! SHE IS NOT A WHORE!!!!!! SHE WAS A FRIEND!!!!!!!

Anyway, Scott Snyder is a wonderful writer and really informing the public on what it really is like for….us, and Francie Francilla, I don’t know, something foreign, probably some commie with a lot of……germs. Oh all of them have some sort of germ, don’t they? You are the pure one. Yes. The pure one.

Now if you excuse me, I have to go to La Senza, for some……stockings….for mother. I also need to pick up my couch in the parking lot of K Mart. I hope someone will help me…..put it in my windowless van. Because that would be SUPER!

But don’t take my word for it

BA DA Stab!