I approached Batman Earth One, perhaps mistakenly, as a complete graphic novel rather than the first issue of a running title. As a story written in Earth One independent from New 52 continuity, I expect Johns to create some new, interesting twists, and he does: How did Thomas Wayne and Alfred Pennyworth meet, and what did they do in the desert?; How did Alfred raise Bruce Wayne?; or, if Bruce has not been training with the League of Shadows - I'm assuming he hasn't based on the number of beatings he takes - then where has he been? But Batman Earth One addresses none of these plot points. Instead, Johns focuses on a Batman who gets pummeled by nondescript rooftop security guards and outwitted by...Mayor Cobblepot. Naturally, an origin story will show a hero's more humble beginnings, but this origin story ends with Batman as ineffectual as he began. Thankfully, Geoff Johns leaves plenty of pages void of his debasing storytelling so that I can simply sit and enjoy Gary Franks' art, much like the first seven pages. BUT as soon as Batman moans his first word, "OW," and realizes that the best he can do is reach into his fanny-pack and give a homeless woman some cash, I started to wonder, "Who is this loser in the Batman pajamas?"