Did you ever just want something so bad you could taste it? If you're an orphan, I apologize, because you probably haven't tasted that roast pig in the grocer's window. That was cruel of me. You have no idea what that tastes like. You've only ever eaten lint and smushed Junior Mints. You've obviously also stolen this computer. Bad, orphan.
Here's some merch we really kind of want:
This Empire Strikes Back space slug oven mitt is terrific because it's not filled with mynocks. Ideally, it's filled with your hand. Because it's a mitt. What better way to retrieve a tray of wookiee cookies or blueberry Grand Moff muffins from your oven? This would also make for a great puppet to teach first graders about interstellar travel, the digestive system, and stop motion animation. Or, take this and a snorkel to the beach, bury yourself in the sand, and when someone stops to build a castle, burst out of the grit like those worms from Tremors. It'll be a great story for the police, creep. 20 credits.
Okay, this is a werewolf.
Tom Spina Designs offers this furry six foot gentleman who was clearly captured on the moors and then carefully taxidermized for display in your guest bathroom. All he needs is a colorful bandana around his neck and a Frisbee suspended by string from the ceiling. $7,000.
Spina also offers a T. Rex fossil desk and a headless horseman to mount on the roof of your van.
It's becoming readily apparent that this feature is a weekly opportunity to daydream about being a cruel and eccentric rich person with far too much time on his hands. Speaking of which:
A movie replica ideal for the absentminded jet-setter, this Wolverine movie leather jacket is easily the best thing to leave on a plane. Get some custom god tags and give the luggage handlers a little thrill when they find it on your seat. $350
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That’s what happened to the jacket!!
I want that oven mitt!!
Someone needs to buy that jacket and film "The Quest for The Jacket."
Wookiee cookies are actually a real thing, and they’re without a doubt the best cookie I’ve ever eaten. They’re from some Star Wars cookbook that came out awhile back.
Recipe: http://www.starwarsholidayspecial.com/text/wookiee-ookies.htm
Awesome jacket! Will my hair grow into a wolverine shape when I put it on?
BTW, if you like Star Wars baking materials, check this out:
http://starwars.com/vault/collecting/cookiecutters/index.html
I’d like an Oatmeal Raisin Yoda, please!
More articles like this please!
This is a recurring feature every Tuesday. Has been for 2 months.
That werewolf is awesome.
"L-O-L-A LOOOOOLLLLA
LA La La La LOOOOOLLLLA"
When I first saw the oven mitt I thought, "Awesome, a Jaws oven mitt!" This shows how far Star Wars has fallen in my consciousness over the past decade.
WOW! Now I too can own a jacket just like the one in that movie, X-Men Origins: Wolverine’s Jacket!
practicality and affordability are best. I’ll take the oven mitt.
Pfft I already have a headless horseman. All you need is a cleaver, a cosplay outfit resembling something like that statue, a taxidermy’d horse and your next door neighbor…. (neighbor not sold in stores).
I’d get the werewolf and put that jacket on it.