Tuesday Showdown: Spider-Man vs. Batman and Robin

Spider-Man vs. Batman & Robin (Dick & Damian)

Spider-Man woke up in shopping cart wedged between a brick back alley wall and an over-flowing dumpster. The Spot was nowhere to be seen.

Spider-Man pulled himself out of the cart and crept up the wall. His last memory had been chasing Dr. Ohnn through a department store, skipping in and out of those miniature black holes. He'd worked out a decent Lewis Carroll gag, but then…what? What had happened then? One moment, the light of mid-morning Manhattan, the Spot's snickering, then bottlenecking toward absolute darkness. Just the murk of subspace. Spider-Man peered out onto the street. It was night now, but more than time had passed. If this was New York, and Spidey wasn't sure of even that, it was Midtown in the years before The Lion King, before Giuliani had shooed away the hookers. There were more X's on this block alone than on–

A thin sheet of metal whizzed past his head and sunk into the wooden sign  of the storefront. Something like a boomerang.

But why hadn't his spider-sense warned him? Why wasn't it buzzing right now?

Spider-Man crouched down against the wall, pivoted, and in an instant he sprang away toward the opposite wall.

"Missed him, you clod," came a child's voice.

"Warning shot, Robin. We don't shoot to kill," replied an older man struggling for gruffness. It sounded to Spidey like Danny Rand's impression of Logan. By now the chase had taken them to the rooftops. Spidey propelled himself forward with a quick jet of webbing. He scanned the skyline. This wasn't New York. It wasn't any city he recognized.

"No more portals," he muttered to himself.

There were two of them. The child and a young man close to his own age. Some kind of bat and bird motif. They were only keeping up with him because he was curious. Spidey turned on his heel, aimed a wrist at the older one, the guy with the bat ears, and fired off a glob of webbing to his eyes. "Really flattering, guys! But why all the attention?"

The man ducked the web bullet, then vaulted towards him. Behind him, the child, Robin, tried to bat the thing away with some kind of billy club. "Catch him, you dolt!"

"You took that boom tube to the wrong town, pal."

Spider-Man thought back. If Reed had ever used the term boom tube, it'd been while he'd zoned out. "No more portals," he repeated to himself.

The Bat-Man reached down to his belt. Another one of those boomerangs. That's when Spidey tripped over the ledge.

 

Spider-Man vs. Batman & Robin (Dick & Damian)

Who wins?

Show your work!

Comments

  1. Spider-Man…..but Im biased.

  2. Pfft. Damian

  3. Dick and Spidey show restraint, but Damian will mess spidey up.

  4. Batman reachs and grabs spiderman’s hand. 

    Damian then walk up behind Batman, kick him off the ledge, Spiderman and Batman both fall off the ledge. 

    Damian wins.

  5. if spidey learns that this battle is better fought with webbing from afar, he could win, but hand to hand he would probably get suckerpunched by damian and dick would take advantage of the moment to take him.

  6. I would normally say Spidey.  He’s good at taking multiple adversaries at once, but he doesn’t have home court advantage in this scenario.  Batman and Robin know Gotham like the back of their hands.  That’s what really gives them the edge.  Considering Spider-Man has gone up against Green Goblin and Venom I don’t think Damian is that much out of his ruthlessness league.  That being said if this were in New York, I would say Spider-Man hands down.

  7. This takes place during Angstrom Levy’s battle with Invincible, and Damian accidentally gets sucked into one of those vortices.  He instantly bonds with Oliver, as they agree whole-heartedly that sometimes dudes just need to die.  Having started their bromance over the mangled corpse of Angstrom Levy, they’ve inadvertently stranded Damian in the Invinciverse and Mark and Peter with Dick Grayson, who is overjoyed to have two new proteges who appreciate his wisdom, wit, and skills.  Peter and Mark, of course, are wholly impressed by the non-meta awesomeness that is Dick Grayson.  Eventually, everyone finds their way home and is the better for the journey, even Damian, who finally had to admit he’d met a worthy intellectual sparring partner in Robot and thus learned that a superiority complex and morality are not always mutually exclusive.

  8. Spider-Man trips on the ledge, but manages to turn a clumsy stumble into a balletic dive into the air. Twisting, he fires a web to the building now overhead, just as he feels something wrap around his ankle.

    "Not another clothesline" He hopes, his swing upwards impeded. He looks down… well, more across, his body now horizontal in the air; held up by webbing on one end and another one of those strange bat-boomerangs, this time attached to a rope, on the other. Spider-Man glances skyward, and sees the strange costumed silhouette holdong the other end of the rope, keeping him suspended in mid-air.

    "Well this is a fine mess you’ve got us into" says Spidey "You want me to hang around or something? All you had to do was ask"

    "Just let go" he hears the smaller shadow say "He’s already annoying me"

    "Hey buddy, I got an idea: if you stop being a brat, I’ll stop being annoying" Spider-Man pulls sharply down with his caught leg, twisting his body to the side, and snaps the taught cable.

    On the roof, the Dynamic Duo are momentarily speechless; their cable is made to withstand extremely large forces, and this mysterious person just snapped one with his leg? And then disappeared from view as well 

    "Almost as good as Bruce’s exits" Batman mutters.

    "What was that Drake? It had better be an apology for letting him get aw-urk!"

    Damian’s remark was cut short by a red and blue arm pulling him to the edge of the roof, where a blast of webbing covered his mouth.

    "Honestly, hasn’t anyone ever told him ‘if you can’t say something nice, your mouth will be full of shear-thinning fluid’?"  Still holding Damian, Spider-Man had sprung from under the lip of the roof to stand in-front of Batman. "So who are you and what’s with the hostility? Most people save that until they get to know me a little better"

    Batman had fallen back into a defensive crouch at the sudden re-appearance of the blue and red stranger, and another two batarangs had appeared in his hands. He flung one, which the stranger caught, but it was only a distraction so he wasn’t too bothered. 

    "So you like bats, I’m guessing? I’m more of an arachnid fan myself, but each to his own"

    As Spider-man was nattering away Batman pulled his Shock-Gauntlets from this belt (the ones that were used to break into The League Of Shadows in B&R12, I think) and slipped them over his knuckles. 

    Damian, meanwhile was angry. He had been gagged with some foul tasting stuff, and now he was being held captive? By this? At best, failed stand-up comedian had his hands held tightly behind his back, but that was no trouble. He pivoted quickly on his feet, and jumped, flicking his feet towards the jaw of his captor as he pulled his hands down, hoping to make the blow really sting.

    CRACK, the sound of two booted feet connecting with a Spider-Skull was somethign Ol’ Web Head was used to. This kid had nothing on The Rhino for instance.

    "Not that wasn’t very nice" he said rubbing his jaw "I was trying to ta-" 

    SMACK SMACK 

    His hands now free, Damian had delivered two sharp blows to his opponents ribs. It was like hitting a wall.

    Out fo the corner of his eye, Spider-Man saw the taller, less garish one make a move towards him, with something faintly glowing in each hand. He allowed Batman to get close, but then flipped over him, and sprayed them both with web fluid.

    "Time Out! Who the hell are you guys? And why all the punching?"

    " What is this stuff?" Dick asked, trying to keep his voice calm and still intimidating. Neither he nor Damian could find any give in the sticky goo binding them.

    "It’s my web fluid, it’ll dissolve in an hour or two. Now where am I, who are you and why in God’s name is he dressed like a colour-blind canary?"

     

    –Spidey Wins, no way for B&R to escape for at least an hour–

  9. Are there any hubcaps or waste baskets around for Damien to use?

  10. WTF dick alone as nightwing would beat Spider-man.

     The only way spidey can win is if he exploits damiens lack of experience and that would be the only way to beat dick. Batman and Robin wins no doubt.

    This wouldnt even be fair if it was BRUCE vs Spider-man. Bruce would mop the floor with him.

  11. It’s times like this that I’m glad the iFanbase is so well behaved.  This thread could’ve been ugly.

  12. Bruce would destroy Spider-Man. I think Dick matches up about evenly. But if he gets Damian on his side, I gotta give B&R the edge.

  13. If you can say anything about the heros from DC it’s that they are overpowered.  Peter goes out in the first round with Aunt May throwing in the towel.  He’ll be lucky if Damien doesn’t shank him or something just for the heck of it.

  14. Batman pulls out some irradiated RAID bug spray from his utility belt, blinds Spidey as Robin kicks him in the shins with other assorted dirty shots as Batman delivers a thundering flying kick to the face that knocks Spiderman out cold and takes out some of Peter Parkers teeth. 

  15. Seriously? How can this even be in question? Batman all the way!

  16. Damian wins and then wonders what all the spider-fuss was about.

  17. If it was Bruce as Batman it would be no contest. However, since this involves Dick and Damian I’ll have to go with Spider-Man. Parker and grayson are both experienced and Damian not so much. The decided factor is the tam up of Dick and Damian, they aren’t experienced as a team yet and Spider-Man can exploit this.  I will say if it were Dick and Spider-Man one-on-one Then maybe Batman would win especially with home advantage.

  18. Too close to call. Spidey’s got the power, but Dick and Damien have the skill and home court advantage. They fight for a while, stop to talk and team up to defeat The Spot and Rainbow Raider.

  19. Robin "falls" off a ledge…Spidey instinctivly reacts to save him and then they have him.  Done.  They’re master strategists.  Spidey is….not.

  20. Can you imagine all the one-liners in this fight? We have three of the biggest mouths in comics going at it here. This issue would be full of word-balloons.

    Homefield advantage is the deal-breaker here. Dick and Damian’s knowledge of Gotham’s twists and turns is what tips the scales in their favor. Spidey may be able to escape, but once B&R get him cornered into a close-quarters confrontation, it’s over.

    Now I really want to read this fight.

  21. Match called off due to unfair disadvantage being imposed upon Spider-man, to-wit: No spidey sense.  Take him out of his home court and put him on the road? He’ll deal, with road wins in L.A., Chigago, Dallas, and the Savage Land. Put him up against two opponents and once? Please. See, e.g. Sinister Six, Enforcers, Wrecking Crew, etc. But gut his power/skill set? That’s not, as we say, CRICKET.

    Forfiet by the Distinguished Competition.

  22. Damien falls.

    Spidey tries to save him, snagging his leg with web.

    "SNAP"…

     "Whoops" says Peter,…" Not again…."

    "Never Mind" says Dick, " Saved us the cost of a phone vote.."

  23. Spidey……………Damien had trouble with Pygs minions and Dick sucks dick

  24. @Shalla, for the win.

  25. @Shallam: Yes!

  26. why does everyone downplay spidey’s hand to hand combat? Did you forget that his spider sense would prevent most anyone from even landing a hit? He got messed up against cap AT FIRST, but then he thought "i’ll fight him spider to man" and held his own from then on using his superior agility. I LOVE spidey and i think he could take on bats, but against two people with that much prowess in the art of butt kick.. i don’t see ol pete walkin’ away if its to the death.