Tuesday Showdown: Captain Cold vs. Doctor Octopus

Tuesday Showdown - Captain Cold vs. Dr. Octopus

Captain Cold vs. Doctor Octopus

Winter in Midtown. Len Snart (alias Captain Cold) plucks a Metro card off the pavement. Probably spent, but maybe not. He pockets the thing and turns a corner. Garbage bags heaped everywhere. Filthy. A disgrace. Nothing like Keystone. Keystone City's always clean. Down to the rubble. Manhattan's got one thing on Keystone though. Slower. Hustle and bustle, sure. But it's slower where it counts. 

Cold hasn't eaten since before the Billy Elliot matinee. Heatwave's idea. Uplifting, he'd said. It was a stupid show, all spectacle. They'd had words and went their separate ways. Cold had never had real Manhattan pizza. He decides to follow his nose. He spots the LensCrafters shop, but only half sees it. Wally popped him one last week, Right in the nose. Not much of a running start, but it was solid enough to bend the frame of his glasses. Cold's particular about his glasses. Same general style since he was in diapers. Rectangular jobs. Wonder if LensCrafters carries 'em? He lifts the billfold from the pocket of a passing tourist, crosses the street, and heads inside. 

Nothing's where it's supposed to be. 

Not that he's ever been in this LensCrafters before, and not that he can see all that well, but Cold knows the glasses shouldn't be strewn out on the floor and the desk guy shouldn't be pressed up against the ceiling. He puts his hand on the cold-gun at his hip and tries to focus through one lens to make sense of it all. The reception guy is passed out or worse, pinned to the ceiling by a long metal rod. But the rod's moving around like a snake. Or a tentacle, maybe. Something from one of Mirror Master's messed up bootleg cartoons. He looks down the length of the thing, which leads behind a second counter in the back. There's three more of them waving around back there, big pincers clacking together. A man stands up, and the metal arms rise with him. 

"Nice backpack." says Cold. 

The man with the wavy metal arms reels around. He's got a big box of frames. Rectangular frames. Just like the pair on his face. Sort of like the messed up pair on Cold's face. The man pinned to the ceiling suddenly hits the floor. 

"My insurance doesn't cover eyeglasses neither," says Cold. "Mind if we split 'em?"

"You have any idea who you're talking to?" asks Doctor Octopus, rising up on two of his metallic arms. 

"Can't be sure, cuz my glasses are all cockeye," says Cold, unlatching his holster. "But if you're Elton John, I want my damn money back." 

 

Captain Cold vs. Doctor Octopus

Who Wins?

(Show your work.)

Comments

  1. My favorite parts: "Something from one of Mirror Master’s messed up bootleg cartoons." and "If you’re Elton John, I want my damn money back."

    I have no idea who would win (I’m pulling for Snart), but I am looking forward to reading everyone else’s play-by-play.

  2. My money’s on Cold. They get into a brief drag-out fight with Cold having the upper hand simply because he’s used to fighting the Flash. Octopus, despite being far more intelligent than Cold simply becomes frustrated at being unable to pin down the Rogue, even with the aid of his 4 tentacles. AS the fight goes on, Cold slowly starts freezing Octopus’ tentacles into a state of uselessness. While Doc is working on getting these unfrozen, Cold sneaks up from behind him and hits him with the butt of his gun. This (as we saw in Spiderman 600, I think) adds yet ANOTHER concussion to Doc Ock’s total, thus knocking him senseless long enough for the police to catch him. 

    Cold, as a reward, takes Doc’s glasses and asks the clerk (who is no longer stuck on the ceiling) to change the frames to his prescription before leaving to get some pizza

  3. We’ve seen Spiderman thwart Dr. Octopus by freezing his mechanical arms. I don’t think I’ve ever seen The Flash beat Captain Cold using mechanical octopus arms.

    Cold wins.

  4. Snart is starting the fight with impaired vision. He gets his ass handed to him.

  5. Captain Cold won’t see the eye coming behind hind him, but before that happens a freeze ray goes to the doc’s Noggin. Cold wins

  6. Captian Cold wins because he’s on twitter 😉

  7. While Doc Oc is fighting Captain Cold with his robot tentacles his human arms are busy with something else.

    "What the hell are you doing?" Asks Captain Cold.

    "why I’m making my lunch" Says Doc Ock. C

    Captain Cold looks and realizes Doc is preparing a wonderful BLT sandwich. It has nicely toasted bread, crisp lettuce and some juicy bacon with just a hint of mayonaise. Not too much and not too little. Just enough to moisten the bread. 

    Captain Cold mouth waters but that wasn’t enough.

    "Bacon should never be the main meat in the sandwich, it should always be used to enhance it."

    "While I have some grilled Chicken in the fridge."

    "You are suggesting a Bacon chiclen lettuce tomotoe sandwich?"

    "Yes, a BCLT if you will"

    "Okay"

    Doc enjoys his BLT and Snart his BCLT.

    THE END

  8. Dr. Octopus grabs a hold of Len as Len fires his freeze gun.

    The ice spreads from Doc to Len over the octo arms, freezing them both together so that they never part in their intimate everlasting embrace.

    They both lose… and win.

  9. Otto wins but not without injuries. I figure col gets in one good shot which Doc Ock blocks with two of his tentacles which shatter at the tips before one of the other two slaps the good Captain across the face and knocks him out, y’know, cold.

  10. Captain Cold. Snart is a ruthless guy with a stubborn streak of honor. Dr. Octopus is a psychotic nerd whose evil plans consist of "Let me mary my nemesis’ elderly aunt! That’ll show him." I imagine Octopus talks like The Monarch. Before there would even be a fight, Cold would ice him and then move on to something more worth his time.

  11. @jumping jupiter-Nice.  Vision impairment should never be overlooked when it comes to a fight.

  12. Where’s Coltrane? Show us how it’s done Coltrane!

    In fact Coltrane should be writing an official response to these every week. Pay him.

  13. Do I sense a change of heart in Paul’s views on fanfiction?

  14. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    I wouldn’t call this…ya know…that.

  15. My money is on Cold.

    He’ll just freeze Ock’s arms and BAM! Uppercut to the face!

  16. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Paul. 😛

  17. Doc Ock is smarter than Snart and more powerful but Snart could immobilize Ock with the cold gun which is Spidey’s #1 offensive to beating Ock.  So Capt. Cold wins.

  18. After trying to freeze Doc Ocks arms several times but unsuccessfully due to the missing lens in his glasses, Cold is grabbed by a mechanical arm and thrown behind a display counter.

    Knowing he stands no chance of winning with his impaired vision he uses this time to freeze a temporary lens INTO his glasses. It works perfectly and Cold is back in the game.

    Cold, un-handicapped, pops up and makes Doc Ock cold hallucinate a giant mosquito and while hes distracted freezes his arms. He takes the Docs glasses as a trophy.

     Cold Wins 

  19. I want Captain Cold to win this fight, but Doc Oc would’ve crushed the Cold Gun while Snart was being all snarky.

    But I’d rather sleep with Cold.

  20. @WonderAli: HELLO!

  21. cold pulls the "wall of absolute zero" trick from rouges revenge and freezes ock’s arms. while otto is confused, cold pops him in the jaw, causing him to fall down and shatter his arms. cold freezes him then shatters him one body part at a time. when done, he steals the glasses and an arm to use as a back scratcher.    

  22. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    I can’t promise that Captain Cold won’t appear in every Tuesday Showdown scenario I present. If I have to be honest with you. 

  23. I can’t promise that all my showdowns won’t involve sandwiches.

  24. (…)

    that  was a judgmental silence

  25. Assumption 1: This Dr Octopus invented robotic arms and is not the Magneto version who controls them telepathically. 

    Assumption 2: Therefore, power must be transmitted through the arms based on some sort of hydraulic system. 

    Assumption 3: I thing Dr Octopus’s tentacles are made of some super hard adamantium-like metal that would make them difficult to destroy even under extreme stress.  Is that right? Anyone?

    Assumption 4: Mr Snart can get off 1 shot with a broad area effect (spray vs. stream).

    If that is the case, the metallic arms should have excellent heat transfer properties (low heat capacity, high thermal conductivity) and a sudden drop in temperature should increase the viscosity of the hydraulic fluid (probably a synthetic hydrocarbon with a high flash point) to the point where the response time in the extremities of the tentacles would drop dramatically.  This would likely lead to lots of tiny but powerful piston pumps in the power plant (backpack) seizing up ond having mechanical failures.  The combined result is a temporary freezing in place of the Octopus arms and lots of grinding gears in the backpack.  At this point, suspended and trapped in mid-air, Doc Ock thinks he’s dead meat.  But, Mr Snart isn’t the type to kill a foe unable to fight back.  Instead, he opts for a nut-shot, takes his glasses and walks away whistling "What do you do with a drunken sailor."

    The good doctor eventually thaws out, gets fitted for contacts, and slinks off to his lair for a thorough refit that actually results in an improved distributed control system.  Years later, they laugh it off over a bottle of claret.

  26. Captain Cold sets his freeze gun to frost and frost up Doc Ock’s glasses. A blinded Doc Ock swings his arms around aimlessly destroying the entire shop. "Now you’ve done it.", said Captain cold. "Now neither of us get a pair."  Captain Cold then freezes Doc Ock arms and all up to his face. He then takes Otto’s glasses says, "Hmmm, perfect fit.", and walks out to leave Doc Ock to the cops.

    Winner: Captain Cold

  27. Going on a date with Doc Ock must be hell. I bet he’s all hands.

  28. Go Albatross!

    Claret? Cold doesn’t strike me as a Rosé kind of guy.

  29. Ah yes, the claret… 

    Based on an old-timey romance novel he read in jail, Mr Snart thnks women like claret. He always buys a bottle before he goes on a date or kidnaps a woman.  They generally end up standing him up or escaping, so he has a great excess in the pantry.  Snart is an aspirational drinker, usually opting for high-end spirits when drinking with rogues. 

    He brings 2 bottles of the claret to other people’s parties in order to impress the ladies.

  30. @Albatross: Marry me.

  31. @JumpingJupiter  What you need to understand is that @Aalbatr0ss IS Captain Cold.

    Aalbatross — well played!

  32. So far, Ruo21’s got the best one. The proof is in my emotional reaction…of horror. 🙂