Here’s the original G.I. Joe team:
You may have noticed that more than a few of the members of the team have codenames that begin with “S”. Here are the five best.
5. Short-Fuse
I’m a pretty big G.I. Joe guy and I barely remember Short-Fuse. (Sometimes spelled Short-Fuze.) His name is somewhat familiar but that’s about it. The reason could be that the mortar specialist spends a lot of time in the background.
4. Steeler
Steeler drives the tank. That’s cool.
3. Stalker
Stalker served in Vietnam in the same platoon with Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. He has a bad ass mustache. What more do you need to know?
2. Scarlett
Scarlett served in the all-male G.I. Joe unit in the early 80s which means she got sexually harrassed a lot. But it was delightful! Because it was the early 80s.
1. Snake Eyes
Here’s the thing about Snake Eyes. Bad ass ninja? Yes. Full of quiet dignity? Of course. But what most people don’t know: wonderful penmanship.
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Moustache beats penmenship.
What about Sgrunt?
I hate to do this to you Conor, because this is doubtless a stroke of genius, but Sgt. Slaughter’s exclusion is making me think of leaving the company.
@josh Sarge wasn’t original, though. But not mentioning Snake Eyes breakdancing skills is a serious problem.
@Conor Wasn’t Stalker the CO of the platoon? If so, that would make him even more bad-ass. But maybe that was just in the IDW stuff and not in the original stuff.
Or maybe it was the Devil’s Due stuff. I dunno, all of it runs together after a while.
Steeler is from Pittsburgh.
Oh! And isn’t Shooter just a shout out to then-EIC Jim Shooter? He wasn’t an actual Joe, right?
@josh @nudebuddha Orginal or not Slaughter HAS to be mentioned, right?
I declare this whole list invalid because it fails to account for Sgt. Slaughter.
Agree with your list Conor, especially seeing as the title only refers to ORIGINAL Joes. Of course, weren’t they the only five with an “S” name?
Scarlett was in heaven.
I am reading the original stories now. Half way through Classic G.I. Joe vol. 2
I remember Sake Eyes’ ‘V.’ It was like a perfect triangle. I used to encourage him to print.
two thoughts:
1) Snake Eyes is so badass he can take notes WHILE looking through binoculars that seem to be backwards
2) Short-Fuze was a great character that never got developed, the mild mannered blond man with big glasses who has a temper and gets all hulked out? that would be genius!!
@wangman31888 Another little-known Snake Eyes fact: he suffered from extreme hyperopia, which required him to use binoculars in that manner.
The moustache is boss, but the beret really makes the ensemble.
Damn! Wangman and kennyg beat me too it.
Oh man! I didn’t read it carefully enough. I am deeply shamed. I was up late editing. That will remain my excuse.
I remember Marvel put out a ‘Who’s Who’ style G.I. Joe book that listed Rocky Balboa as being a Joe. Weird.
Also, William ‘The Refigerator’ Perry was in it, if I recall correctly. I do remember him getting a figure with a metal football on a chain as a weapon. Also weird. Here’s the commerical for it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ShZiSRktUg
Those are Ninja binoculars. They aren’t backwards. They are used to look behind you or through time, as needed.
I remember them all. Had every G.I. Joe issue up until the over-the-top outer space stuff. I even had the figures of each of the ones mentioned. Steeler came with the “Mobat”
@JRScherer I sent in my proofs of purchase, and the order form and the shipping money… AND I NEVER GOT MY REFRIGERATOR PERRY ACTION FIGURE. He had a football mace on a chain…
The Rocky Balboa listing led to the only comic book retraction I ever saw, the seriousness and Soviet officiousness of which still makes me laugh whenever I think about it. “Rocky Balboa is not now and never has been a member of G.I. Joe. Mr. Balboa hopes the press will respect his family’s privacy during this difficult time.”
Am i only the one shocked not to see Shipwreck on the list?
Ok, I just looked it up on Wikipedia, and no he was not an “original” team member, but he was certainly a one of a kind character, that has to make him original.
Original or not, if you don’t at least give Sgt. Slaughter an honorable mention, you are a PATHETIC PUKE!!!! YOU MAGGOT!!!!!
ATTENTION PEOPLE WHO DON’T READ: If they aren’t in the picture at the top then they were not an original Joe and therefore not eligible for this list. I included the picture to avoid this very discussion.
Where’s Starscream?!
*Shakes Fist*
Where’s Storm Shadow?!
@Fett02 Works for Cobra
YO JOE!!!