Top 5: Mighty Mutes

Shhh…be vewy, vewy quiet. We're counting down the top five silent heroes in comics. Some can't talk and others simply choose not to. Their actions should speak loudly enough. But we're speaking up for them. As advocates really. Because mimes are screwing it up for all of them. And us. 

 

 

5. Cougar 

Some guys just like to shoot off at the mouth. Others just like to shoot. Cougar's the second kind. As the mostly silent sniper of The Losers, Cougar's all about precision and economy. One clean shot, one perfectly timed grunt or reply. With all the double-crosses and back stabbery going on, Cougar's one of the more interesting players in the bunch. Like most silent types, he's a mystery man. What's he thinking? Whose side is he really on? Above all, he makes for some great reveals and PFAM's! 

 

 

 

4. Jericho 

Jackal got your tongue? Jericho was a nice enough kid whose only real mistake was being fathered by Deathstroke and being de-tongued by a rival assassin as a child. Okay, there's not much he could've done about that. So if we have to stick him with any one fault, it's that he's dressed like Prince Adam of Greyskull without a tiger to back him up. 

 

 

 

3. Batgirl II (Cassandra Cain) 

Oh, Cassie. Her story ended up tangled in so much bat-rope. But conceptually, she was an ideal successor to the Batgirl mantle. Why? Because she was absolutely nothing like Barbara Gordon. There's a pretty simple analogy here. Cassandra is to Babs as Jason Todd was to Dick Grayson. Troubled youths who reinvented the persona of their rank and moniker and even spent part of their careers on the other side of the hero/villain equation. Cassandra also brought something to the table that her predecessor never did. Fear. 

 

 

2. Snake-Eyes 

Probably better known as an action figure or cartoon, Snake-Eyes was also the star of what is arguably the most popular silent issue of a comic. Not only was he mute, he was also a mysterious man in black. Like Johnny Cash with a shuriken. There are Snake-Eyes origin stories out there, but he's at his best when he's simply that badass in the corner sharpening his knives. The guy is a walking Swiss army knife, and no offense to that stumpy Canadian, but he's also the best there is at what he does. 

 

 

 

1. Blackbolt

…………………………………………………………………KABLAM!

 

Now before you say anything, Awesome Andy isn't much of a hero to anybody. 

Comments

  1. It was fun to hear a bit of the thought process behind this article last night. I’m a fan of the finished product, but am still a bit sore about the exclusion of Silent Girl… what, no love? (that is the first time i’ve written that phrase on a message board. I plan that it is also the last.)

  2. One final thing, I came to this article through twitter, so I just read the sub-heading on the front page. Sir, you are one funny man.

  3. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    Silent Girl is an antagonist! 

  4. I’d argue that Seth Bingo is the antagonist and she is an unwilling accomplice. Gotta pick up a paycheck somewhere. She plays "Atomic." How bad can she be?

  5. Paul, as always, I’m impressed.  If you were to ask me to name 5 mutes in comicdom, let alone 5 mighty mutes, I would have been at a loss.  Impressive sir.  Mighty impressive.

  6. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    Hmm…she really is kind of a Marcy to Seth’s Peppermint Patty. Still, Neutral Evil. 

  7. Excellent list. If it was 7, I’d add some Mute-ants with Chamber from Generation X and Martha Johansen the Mutant Brain from Morrison’s New X-Men. Also, how can you mention the king of the Inhumans without mentioning his mute dog, Lockjaw! And in comics, a dog that doesn’t talk is much less common than a dog that does!

  8. What list is complete without Wundarr the Aquarian?

  9. Fair game, Mr. Montgomery. The debate is over for now. Don’t know how long that will last if Ali gets in here, though.

  10. Great list! I like ActualButt’s suggestions of both Lockjaw and Chamber, the latter of which got me thinking: the Generation X roster had 3 mutes on it at one time: Chamber, Penance, and Gateway. Must’ve been awfully quiet ’round the mansion in those days. (Though I guess having Banshee yalping it up all the time would’ve negated that. And Jubilee never shut up, so okay, just scratch that.)

  11. I vote for Proty. Or perhaps Proty II.

  12. I was so ready to get into a fight about why Snake Eyes isn’t #1 good sir. Then I realize…..yeah Black Bolt would probably rip his skin off just by saying a letter. So good choice.

  13. @TehDave – Proty?

  14. We were talking about this a little last night: what ever happened to Gateway? I had this feeling that if I suggested him, three x-heads would emerge citing an issue where he has a soliloquoy. Probably during Age of Apocalypse or something.

  15. Silent Villains!

    i give one to Onomatopoeia. 

  16. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    Was Gateway a component of the X-Men in Australia? 

  17. @Paul  The DJ is always a hero unless you are in a Morrissey-penned song. Silent Girl forever!

  18. Still cannot believe you left out Marmaduke. Such strong emotion is evoked from such a quiet yet destructive character.

    Hey didn’t Jericho become a bad guy recently in Teen Titans or did I just make that up. I only remember him from the Judas Contract really.

  19. @TimmyWood – Jericho’s been a villain since the mid-90s and this continued on into Johns’ TEEN TITANS run. As the old saying goes, you take away a guy’s gold plated chest circles and he immediately becomes evil. Or maybe it was his losing the sideburns that really did it.

  20. @Paul: that’s the lad. He was the story gods’ answer to the question, "If the X-Men are alone in the outback, how will they go and do anything?" "Oh, there’s a teleporting aborigine out there already. As it happens. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it."

  21. I’m always glad to see Snake-eyes get some love.  That silent issue (G.I. Joe #21) may be my favorite single issue of all time.

  22. What about Snoopy? No matter, Black Bolt conquers all.

  23. Love the Awesome Andy reference.  I love these lists!

  24. Great list. Though you left off Artie (Of Artie & Leech)! He projects pictograms to communicate with people! He was also on Generation X for a bit. He’s one of those X characters that has never aged in his 20+ years of existence. (He was part of the early X-Factor books, perhaps even their first story if my memory holds.)

    @Jimski, others. If I’m not entirely mistaken during Claremont’s X-Treme X-Men run, Gateway says one word to Bishop shortly after revealing – through projected pictures (I sense a theme!) – that he is Bishop’s grandfather. I honestly think that’s the last time I’ve seen him in a book.

  25. Miho !

  26. @stuclach agreed!

  27. @zackcahill

     

    I agree Miho should definitely be in the top 5, Miho is scary not Batgirl II.