Charlie said it clearly. AA and recovery isn't for winners. Charlie can do it with the power of his mind. Just close your eyes, and… WINNER.
Here are some characters everyone previously respected for dealing with their addictions. Not a one of them capable of Bi-Winning.
5. Rex Tyler – Hourman
The man needed his Miraclo, and fought long and hard to get over the one hour thrill ride. Sheen would have wanted to roll with Rex, and it would have been epic. Too bad he's such a pussy.
4. Harry Osborn – Green Goblin
What's the matter, boy? Can't keep up with the old man? Sheen knows a thing or two about legacy. But that's how you've gotta roll. You handle your stuff.
3. Karen Page
Not Charlie's problem. He tried to give her a gift.
2. Roy Harper – Speedy/Arsenal/Red Arrow
Cat in a back alley? Charlie can respect that. He probably has tiger blood.
1. Tony Stark – Iron Man
Ugh, enough with the AA meetings, Tony. You want to be a winner? Then you go win. You win here. You win there. Make it happen. Regret nothing. Bring it.
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Article of the year.
I just watched Due Date and since there is a Two and a Half Men scene that makes this even more hilarious.
Charlie wouldn’t see the problem with any of these folks. Compared to what he’s done, these are just armless children.
Hilarious article. You forgot that Bane loves his Venom and MirrorMaster hoovers the cocaine like nobody’s business!
Vatican Assassin Warlocks was one of the most underrated Iron Man stories by Michelinie and Layton.
You could read Charlie Sheen’s list- But
It would melt your face off.
@Jordan0061 I don’t think it’s so much he “forgot” as it is there is only so much room in the top 5. I probably would have had your 2 in my list though. Along with Daredevil’s addiction to easy women with psychological problems, Batman’s addiction to justice, and of course, Iron man’s double addiction to booze and adrenaline.
Tony really takes the cocaine filled cake here- Booze- easy women-adrenaline-let’s face coke- and above all WINNING.
If they’re still on the drug, he’d think they’re still awesome, though, so MirrorMaster is definitely a guy Charlie could hang with. Band is off the Venom, though, right? Wuss.
You’re a winner though, Josh. You’re a winner.
RESULT!
Josh, you rascally scoundrel.
You have made me laugh.
Oh, such a laugh.
@StripeyTees WINNING.
Charlie Sheen doesn’t have time for these fools and trolls. Not gnarly enough.
Part of me has to think this is all some andy kaufman-esque prank on Sheen’s part. it’s just so funny and crazy people and addicts usually aren’t clever enough to come up with vatican assassin warlocks who murder people for the pope.
Guys. He’s grandiose.
I have no doubt Charlie Sheen will see this article. iFanboy has just made a powerful enemy.
They all clearly lack Adonis DNA..
God, someone has to change Harry’s hair. I don’t care how “iconic” it is, it’s ugly. How does he expect to win with hair like that?
I’m thinking the cat thing puts Roy over Tony, but that’s just me. Either way, Sheen is a nutbar.
I can’t process this article with my normal brain. Winning!
They’re all high on something: CHARLIE SHEEN!
I imagine Roy Harper and Sheen would get along quite well.
@drakedangerz Don’t pick a fight with a warlock.
That last one made me laugh so hard. If that cover were to be released today I would buy it out of sheer shock value and hilarity. Same reasons why I buy so many bad anime like MadBull34. (I probably said too much…)
@kennyg LOL!! I saw that interview and damn, he’s batshit crazy! Making fun of people’s small homes and ugly kids! ” Winning!”(points thumbs at himself)–catchphrase of 2011
@Jesse1125 Winning is now a meme!
I love that panel of Roy freebasing off of an iPad. It gets me every time.
Hurm.
I used to be addicted to buying floppies but I closed my eyes and cured myself in a nanosecond. Now I only read trades.
Roy Harper freebasing Charlie Sheen off of an iPad. A comic where this happens should exist.
I really enjoyed Hot Shots!
No tiger blood in these people. Not a one.
~G.