Top 5: Boldest Headwear Choices in the Marvel Universe


There's an old urban legend that says John F. Kennedy showed up to his inauguration hatless, and hat wearing immediately fell out of fashion. Whether or not that's what really happened to hats in our universe, in the Marvel Universe something very different happened in 1961: 90% of men stopped wearing hats, and the rest of them went in the other direction entirely. Here are some of the outliers.


5. Power Man's dainty headband

There's "I am secure in my manhood," and then there's "I have the sparkliest tiara at the ball." Go on; you tell him it looks stupid. It doesn't protect him, and it can't be comfortable; I assume it's mainly there to make his foes say, "Whaaa?" just long enough for him to get the first punch in.
 


4. Havok's scalp arches

Alex wanted a costume that would finally get him out from under his brother's shadow, something creative that would show the world a thing or two about his power. "An atom," he thought. "I'll make my head look like an atom." For years thereafter, every fight began the same way: "What are you supposed to be, some kind of space rooster?"


 

3. Hela's entire upper region

Let's be honest: if you were in the wrong mood, everyone on this list could be from Asgard. Anyone who has seen Loki will tell you that the Norse gods continue to influence mortal man today, especially the mortal man in charge of designing cars' hood ornaments. But poor Hela… is there even a head in there? Who is she trying to impress? "Sure, only Thor can lift Mjolnir, but only I can do this with my shoulder blades."


 

2. Torpedo's jet-hat

Learned students of classic literature will no doubt immediately recognize Torpedo as one of the main characters from ROM, Spaceknight. As the guy who patrols ROM's neighborhood when he's out of town, Torpedo is equipped with jet turbines on his wrists and ankles. Naturally, then, he needs a cowl with sleek aerodynamic properties, but his choice of headgear also makes a strong statement, specifically "My wife did not get a look at me before I left the house." Later in the series, Torpedo retires to spend more time with his crippling neck-aches.

 


1. Galactus'… "helmet"? I guess?

Has it ever been established in Fantastic Four whether there is a planet where everybody dresses like this? And what must it be like to try and see a movie there? If Galactus were human-sized, would he go Minnie Pearl or Carmen Miranda?

Comments

  1. Don’t y’all be talkin’ smack about the Galactihat!

  2. I got to number 4 and I thought, "How is he possibly going to find three pieces of headgear more ridiculous than Havok’s"?  I underestimate the ingenuity of comics.

    My favorite thing about Havok’s costume is that, if I remember correctly, it was invented by a supervillain who kidnapped him and forced him to wear it.  Then after the X-Men rescued him. . .he just kinda kept it.  It’s like if Jean Grey had decided that corset Mastermind forced her into was her favorite thing to wear, forever and always.  I’m not sure when or why Havok changed his look, but I assume there as intervention involved, including liberal use of the phrase "Stockholm Syndrome."

  3. I’m just wondering about DC’s headgear, and off the top of my head (no pun intended…ok yes it was!) i can’t think of anything really out there.

  4. I actually like Havoc’s costume.  I have no explanation for this.

  5. @weakly—c’mon..Firestorm, Dr. Fate, Hawkman/girl, Big Barda, The Brainiac "helmet" from the Curt Swan "Man of Tomorrow"….. i’m sure there are a ton more… =)

     

  6. This may be slightly off-topic, but wasn’t there a DC villain called "The Hat" who could supposedly pull "anything" out of his top hat?

  7. Jeff Reid (@JeffRReid) says:

    I’m a little surprised that Gambit’s ‘head sock’ wasn’t on this list. But you went for the less obvious approach. I know that I never would have thought of Hela or Torpedo. Nice!

  8. @Wally Yeah big Barda and probably half of the New Gods could be included on a DC version of this list.

    Watching as much Blacksploitation as I have over the years I have to think that they wanted to give Luke a headband and when that seemed to work they thought "Well he’s unbreakable. Why don’t we give him a metal headband to go with that metal belt?" And then it’s just one small step and that metal headband has a little point at the front and suddenly Power Man has a tiara.

    Clearly I’ve put too much thought into this.

  9. I love that old Havoc costume.  I know it’s stupid, but hey… what’m I gonna do?  I likes what I likes.

  10. For the DC list I submit: Ma Hunkel as The Red Tornado

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/7/7d/Red_Tornado_Hunkel.jpg

  11. @wally, i knew there were some, just nothing was coming to mind. I don’t find hawkman and girl’s headwear to be that bad though.

  12. I think a couple costumes from secret warriors got neglected

  13. I don’t know how the field goal posts (or maybe it’s a tuning fork?) on Black Bolt’s head doesn’t at least get an honorable mention.

  14. One word: Modok. The dude is all headgear.

    Honorable mention to Changeling (formerly of the X-Men); and Cottonmouth and King Cobra of the Serpent Society 

  15. Galactus was ahead of his time with the 1st 4G helmet!! Havok’s pose is "FIERCE"(snaping my fingers)

    Funny article Jim!

     

  16. Haha, inspired by the Galactus hats all over the Con perhaps?  🙂

  17. You’re not wrong!

  18. Havok’s costume is all kinds of aweome! Certainly bold. Boldly awesome, indeed.

  19. At first I thought no one could top Havok. But I was wrong…

    Galactus I can understand. But what are the purposes of the headwear from #4-2?

  20. I really, really a lot want there to be a planet where everyone dresses like Galactus.