iFantasy Football

Smell that? It’s September. September means that October is near – and that means that baseball is almost over. Boo! However – as I write this – football season has officially started. Yay!

With that in mind I thought I’d visit the well one more time and draft my iFantasy Football Team – comprised of comic book characters (mostly, anyway). Coming up with this list was surprisingly tricky because I realized that I have no idea what most of the positions are in football. So, even though I play Fantasy Football, I don’t actually know what I am doing. My strategy is to try and gather as many names as I recognize and play them. Perhaps it’s not the best system…

Anyway – here is the breakdown for the league I play in…

  • QB
  • RB
  • RB
  • RB/WR
  • WR
  • WR
  • TE
  • D/ST
  • K
  • …and 7 bench players…

If you don’t know what all those initials mean – you have nothing to be ashamed of. The first time I played I really didn’t know either. QB = quarterback, RB = running back, WR = wide receiver, TE = tight end (I still don’t know what that is?), D/ST = defense and special teams and K = kicker.

Before I get too far into this I feel like I should set some parameters – although why? Most likely the field is just going to turn into some kind of melee/Australian Rules Football looking thing. So without further ado…

At quarterback – Batman. The reasoning is simple – I need somebody that is resourceful, quick on his feet, and also a quick thinker. The quarterback is often the captain/team leader – and The Dark Knight can be sort of a wild card because of that. But, if he can get the team on board – it might be an unstoppable offense. Don’t believe me? Read Hush.

My backup quarterback (hanging on the bench) is Aquaman. Why Aquaman? Because we all sort of like him, but we really don’t want him to play. Just like any other backup QB in the league.

For my first running back I’d be ludicrous to not pick The Flash. He’s fast, he’s smart and he’s humble. What more can you ask for? And I guess if I’m going to play clean I may as well put LaDainian Tomlinson in as another running back. Sure… he’s “mortal” – but he’s a great running back and a stand up guy. In my third running back slot I’m going to put Wolverine. Sure, he may not be the fastest – but he takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’. He sort of reminds me of Jerome Bettis aka “The Bus.” Does Wolverine have asthma?

The wide receiver slots are a little tougher to fill for me. One of them should probably be Spider-Man. He’s got that great Spidey sense and those sticky fingers. I’m not sure he’ll always run the right plays and/or avoid/break tackles – but he’ll always catch the ball. For the other wide receiver – Hiro Nakamura. I think I am picking him because I just saw a commercial for Heroes – but beyond that he might be pretty good. He can stop time, grab the ball and shuffle to the end zone. No football skills necessary.

Tight end is easy – I’m playing one of the Danger Girls. As I mentioned – I’m not sure what a tight end does – but I do know that all the girls in that book have tight everything. Really I’m just making a logical decision here… right? If they don’t end up working out, I’ll trade mid-season for some of the Zenescope girls.

For defense and special teams the logical choice would go to a group; the Fantastic Four or the Justice League, for example. But you know what would be even better? The ThunderCats. Panthro on defense – amazing. Cheetara returning a punt – incredible. Hell, even Snarf could… well… he could do something.

Finally for my kicker I’m going to pick Sven from Northlanders. He’s a loner that doesn’t take orders from anybody. He lives in Scotland (I’m not sure what that means – but it seems important) and in the event that he misses a filed goal he’s probably going to pull out his sword and start hacking everybody up – and that would at least be fun to watch.

I’ve already got Aquaman on the bench; the rest of the bench would consist of that kid from The Incredibles, Dash. Space Ghost. And the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – picked solely because they’ve been on m mind since I mentioned ThunderCats earlier.

So there you have it. One iFantasy Football team. If I need a coach I’d go with Tony Dungy from the Indianapolis Colts. I think that we’re pretty much unstoppable. And with those words – the gauntlet has been thrown. Pick your team and crush mine. Just remember – we’re built for speed!

Go Colts!!!  


  1. American football is even worse than normal football!

  2. @SamMorgan – BZZZT!!  Wrong! 

  3. My team would consist of the Thundercats and Silverhawks.  The coach would be the horse from Bravestarr.  

  4. totally suprised myself. the only initials i didnt know were ST!

  5. My team:

    QB – Captain Kirk  Backup:  Commander Arcturus Rann of the Micronauts

    RB – Nighthawk, Rom: Spaceknight, Buck Rogers

    WR – Machine Man, James Bond

    TE – Serena Williams

    D/ST – Fin Fang Foom

    Bench – Abraham Lincoln from that episode of Star Trek, Cerebus, Dirty Harry, Tron

    Coach – Zeus from Clash of the Titans


  6. You know I can’t resist. Here’s the team to beat, gents:

    QB: Optimus Prime – you knew it had to happen. Prime’s a born leader and could transform to auto-mode when he needed to throw blocks for the RB.

    Backup QB: Hal Jordan – he’s got no concept of fear and you can’t be afraid to take a hit if you’re a QB.

    RB: Juggernaut – this is too easy. in case you didn’t know it, the man can’t be stopped once he gets going. you’d best get to him in the backfield.

    RB2: Luke Cage – because RBs tend to get injured at some point in the season it’s important to have somebody who can’t get hurt.

    WR(primary): Hawkman – i struggled with my receivers, strangely enough. but considering the way these guys tend to get roughed up these days i felt i needed the roughest necessary. hawkman’s tough, agile and has great leaping abilities. good luck stopping him. i wouldn’t be suprised to find out there’s a sport greatly similiar to football somehwere on Thannagar.  

    WR(secondary): Snakeyes – yes, i know, he was left-fielder on my fantasy baseball team, but i got faith that snakeyes is capable of making the transition. i’ve yet to see anything the man can’t do. again, i need someone who doesn’t mind waiting to be called upon. this is my man.  

    TE: The Punisher – gotta have someone who can block and run short routes that likely end up in rough tackles. frank would likely thrive on the position. no doubt, he’s a football fan in real life(?)

    TE(tight-end): Sharon Carter – in my heaven they all look like that.

    D/ST: Voltron – defender of the universe!

  7. whoops, clicked submit too soon.

    K: Sagat – looks like he’s got a pretty good leg from ryu’s point of view. lets see what he can do to a football.


  8. Think I’d have to go with:

    THe Blob as my Offensive Line.  I mean nothing moves him right?

    And THe Juggernaut as my runningback, cause, well, you know…

  9. Since offense is done; I’ll go defense: 

    Nosetackle:  The Blob

    Linebacker:  You really won’t need one with the Blob up front.

    Cornerback: Iceman (WRs will never get any footing)

    Safety:  Mystique (can appear as the other teams WR for easy interceptions)

    Special Teams:  Mr. Fantastic (good reach for blocking field goals)

  10. @Horatio — Haha! It’s about time "Savage Curtain" Lincoln gets some recognition. Don’t forget to balance him out with Evil Lincoln from Futurama.

  11. @Paul  You mean 30-30 right?

  12. My all bad guy team…

    QB- Bullseye.  That pretty much explains itself.  Deadshot would be a good backup.

    RB- Juggernaut is the obvious pick but I’ll have Unus the Untouchable as a backup. 

    WR- Toad- Hear me out.  He has excellent jumping ability and doesn’t he ooze Stick-Um?  He’s never going to drop a ball.  Stilt-Man would be on second string. 

    K- Batroc the Leaper.  The guy has a hell of a leg on him. 

    The Rogues would be on Special Teams because…well…it would entertaining. 

  13. I might have had Jabba play center, but he’d have a tough time squeezin the ball between his legs, if he had legs. 🙂

    Nick Fury would make a great coach. He’s already got the look. That cigar speaks volumes.

    and couple of great bench guys might have been Guy Gardner and Booster Gold considering they’ve seen some playing time.

  14. @BrianBaer – I could have used RoboAquaLincoln from my days as a City of Heroes player…

    I can’t believe I forgot Optimus Prime!

  15. Stilt Man as a special teams player – he could block all the kicks!

  16. haha, this is awesome.  Ok, my turn

    QB – Iron Fist.  Hell of an arm, and with his kung fu he is damn near untouchable

    RB – Kilawog.  That guy is the intergalactic version of "The Bus"

    RB – Frodo Baggins.  If the forces of evil couldn’t catch this kid, no one can. 

    RB/WR – Dr. Strange.  Beware to master of mystic arts.  Plus the cloak, along with his fruity nature, would confuse the other team.

    WR – Spider-man.  Nimble, quick on his feet, and sticky hands so he would NEVER drop the ball

    WR – The Beast Master.  Could totally call hawks and ferrets to his side to distract the other team as he runs for the endzone.

    TE – Emma Frost…cuz that girl has a tight end (by that I mean she has a fine ass)

    D/ST – The Blob.  Nothing gets past that beast.  Maybe have Jabba cover his back.

    K – Hank Pym.  The Kicker is always the odd man out that, no matter how hard he tries and makes the world a better place, no one ever really likes him or takes him serious.  No one ever lets Pymie forget that he knocked around his wife and he is the poor man’s Reed Richards, perfect fit!  

  17. QB: Wonder Woman. As an Amazon warrior, she’s used to leading a group into battle.

    RB: The Flash. Duh.

    WR: Mr. Fantastic, Reed Richards. C’mon…he could catch ANYTHING!

    TE: Kilowog. Got a problem with that, poozer?

    D/ST: The Hulk, The Thing, and Wolverine. Good luck getting down the field past them! DEFENSE SMASH!

    K: Superman. He has the leg strength. Plus, it would be cheating to let him on the field too often.

    Bench: The Watchmen. They are retired after all, so starting them might not be the best move.

  18. QB: Supernman. a natural leader

    RB: Quicksilver. runner

    WR: Green Lanten. able to willpower to catch anything

    TE: Invincible. w0rd

    D/ST: Wolverine, Rhino, Luke Cage. 3 strong defenses

    K: Rocky Raccoon. small, but powerful

    Bench: Young Avengers. They are kids so they might not know how to play

  19. QB- Nightwing.  I was gonna say Cap and/or the archers but Dick’s good at rallying troops.  Plus Cap got shot, so I’ve heard.

    RB- Strong Guy.  Everytime someone hits him he’d get bigger and stronger.  Sign him up.

    RB/WR- Wonder Woman, she’d be the best power-back ever.  Quick and can block. 

    WR- Spider-man.  He could catch a high flyer just as easily as summersaulting over the defensive line.

    WR- A Jedi.  They’ll push anyone out of the way while running fast and if the balls not really near um for a pass they can attract it like a magnet.  

    TE- Colossus.  He’d be great in the pocket and he’s fast apparently cuz if you ever read a Claremont X-men comic everyone seems to always say, "Blue Blazes!  I’ve never seen anyone so big move so fast!"  

    D/ST- I want the scariest bastards possible.  Venom, Chewbacca, and an Alien from the movies. Acid blood, Wookie rage, and people eating.  The advertising revenue would be obscene.  

    K- I got to agree with Superman.  Especially with the scene from the first Superman movie, it’d be like ‘The Natural’ for football everytime he got on the field!  

    Bench: All seven of the samurai from Akira Kurosawa’s film Seven Samurai. 

  20. It’s all about the mutants in this game. Xavier’s kids have gotten so much practice playing football and baseball over the years (during games written primarily by Claremont), they should be naturals.

    QB – Cyclops

    RB – Colossus

    RB/WR – Angel with feather wings, not Archangel

    WR – Quicksilver

    WR – Wolverine

    TE – Beast

    D/ST – Xorn’s Special Class

    K – Toad (definitely fits the ‘kicker as an outsider’ role)

    Bench – Cable, Jean Grey, Gambit, Rogue, Iceman, Armor, and Shadowcat

    Plus they’d have the hottest cheeleaders.