I learned most of what I know about the world's pervading evils not from Sunday school or from a bedraggled street urchin in Dickensian London, but from a series of informative segments in the mid 80s live action Welcome to Pooh Corner program. The song "Too Smart for Strangers" tells you everything you need to know about why the unfamiliar is horribly, horribly wrong. Pooh would not lie to us. We know him on a near preternatural level because his kindly presence has been projected via marketing assimilation waves capable of permeating uterine walls…for years.
I bring up this cautionary tale because vile strangers are even now headed for our comic shops in unmarked vans (or maybe UPS trucks). I speak of course of the villains of DC's Flashpoint. They seem like familiar old friends, but they are in fact strangers. So if any of these characters ask you to aid in the search for their border collie or offer you pixie stix, remember the song and ask for a code word. I probably shouldn't share this, but mine was "Burger King." Luckily I never had to be picked up after school in the wake of a parent's car accident or peanut allergy attack. Because that code word sucks.
Let's take a look at some of the familiar, yet unfamiliar villains of Flashpoint, courtesy of DC Comics.
Is the Joker a hustler? Does he…*gulp*…count cards?
FLASH QUESTION: Who is The Joker? And what is his dark connection to the Wayne family?
FLASHPOINT: BATMAN – KNIGHT OF VENGEANCE #2
Written by BRIAN AZZARELLO
Art by EDUARDO RISSO
Cover by DAVE JOHNSON
Sinestro's pink countenance is cropped from this image. This makes him even less trustworthy.
FLASH QUESTION: Will Sinestro side with Abin Sur against the Guardians of Oa, or is all hope lost?
FLASHPOINT: ABIN SUR – THE GREEN LANTERN #2
Written by ADAM SCHLAGMAN
Art and cover by FELIPE MASSAFERA
Doomsday is I think a sentient orbiting satellite in this week's comics. In Flashpoint, he actually looks kind of traditional.
FLASH QUESTION: Will Booster be able to stop Doomsday and help The Flash – or has his time come to an end?
BOOSTER GOLD #46
Written by DAN JURGENS
Art and cover by DAN JURGENS and NORM RAPMUND
Don't kiss Snart! I think? He could be good or bad! But probably still has weird dad issues either way!
FLASH QUESTION: Will Central City’s greatest hero be able to stand against the Rogues?
FLASHPOINT: CITIZEN COLD #2
Written by SCOTT KOLINS
Art and cover by SCOTT KOLINS
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It’s very possible that I’m just being stupid, but I found this article quite confusing.
@TheGoddamnDeadpool You should be. Flashpoint is about everything being off kilter. Up is down. Left is right. Good is bad. Bad is good. We’re not sure who to trust.
@PaulMontgomery If your comment isn’t a quote on the hardcover edition of Flashpoint I won’t buy it.
so anyone dressed as Winnie and the Pooh is not a stranger, especially if they are offering candy (or honey) in their dark, windowless van. Thanks @PaulMontgomery, now I know.
God you took me back with that Winnie the Pooh show…
That’s just about the best two first paragraphs of most of your articles, Paul.
And Doomsday is showing up in Booster Gold? I may have to pick that up now. If you’ll recall, Doomsday kicked Booster’s ass the first time they fought back in 1992. Rematch, ya’ll!
Also, that code word does suck, Paul. At least try a burger joint that’s not in your region, like “In-N-Out Burger.” Much harder to guess.
@JeffR Yeah, but if he said In-N-Out to a stranger wouldn’t that just be encouraging bad behavior? No need to tempt them even further, need something better than that I think.
Was looking at my Previews form and I have no idea what the Hell I want to get from this. I think I’ll just have to wait and trust Conor to set me straight on what I need to pick up.
@JeffR Off topic, but why is Guy Gardner acting like a weenie and using a yellow ring in that page you posted. Only read a couple of issues of the Death of Superman and I think I was 10.
@AlanRob It was when Kyle was the only GL and there was no Corps. Gardner was using Sinestro’s old pwer ring for a time. At the time Sinestro was “dead”, after Hal killed him as Parallax.
Oh wait, that was before Hal became Parallax wasn’t it. But pretty sure it was still Sinestro’s ring.
@AlanRob You’re close, MikeG. Guy had been kicked out of the Green Lantern Corps for various reasons. He still wanted power, so went on a quest to get Sinestro’s old yellow ring what with Sinestro being locked up by the Guardians at the time. Guy succeeded and used that yellow ring for about two years. The death of Superman happened during that time period. Later, when Hal became Parallax, he fought Guy and destroyed the yellow ring.
I still have not a clue what Flashpoint is about yet. What gives?
@robbydzwonar That’s intentional.
Thw “pooh corner”