A Wednesday State of Mind

What… is… that…?  Is… that… my… cell… phone…?  Argh…  it’s… too… early…  must… get… comics… must… get… up…

Have… to… shower… can’t reinforce… negative fanboy stereotypes… plus, you never know… who you might run into out there… I need to… wake up… this walking into things business… that’s no good…

Clean now… smell good… it’s always a good day when I don’t cut my head… shaving… don’t have an hour to sit on the couch… waiting for the bleeding to stop…

Keys… wallet… pull list… Metrocard… watch… ring… iPod… Moleskine… favorite pen… sunglasses…

Okay, it’s bright… and humid… fantastic… already sweating…

Aaaand… I forgot to eat… too late now… I’m already a good… 50 feet from the building… can’t turn back now… have to press on… be a man… like Jeffrey Brown… maybe I’ve got cash for food… six ones?

Day camp kids… everywhere… please, let them not be going to the subway…

Dodged the summer camp kids bullet… down on the platform… ten times more humid down here… the ventilation in the subway… is some kind of cruel social experiment… how far can we push people… until they break?

Train arrives rather quickly… everything’s coming up Milhouse… my favorite part of Wednesday commences… people watching on the train… in the last car… most people get on in the first and last car… and directly in the middle… that’s where the station entrances are…

I hate… all the music on my iPod…

If… disaster struck the outside world… who are the top three women… in this train I would want… to pair off with… hmmm… pickings are slim… got one strong candidate… one okay candidate… one makes it on the list by default… strong candidate gets off at West 4th… no replacements board… the future of humanity is now… in jeopardy…

Almost miss my stop… trying to find something to listen to…

Out on the street… not as humid… streets are crowded… doesn’t take long… to fall in love… walking around Manhattan… in the summer…

Another block… in love again…

Dudes… blocking the entrance… dudes are always… blocking the entrance… up the stairs… pull list in hand… air conditioner on full blast… like a bucket of ice… being dumped on my head… shocking… but it feels good… how many books… can I grab… without looking at the pull list… fifteen… sixteen… seventeen books in hand… checking against the pull list… only missed one… Final Crisis: Revelations #1… sorry, Greg… there it is… to the register… girls behind the counter… talking about some big fight… two people in the hospital… one might be… paralyzed… their lives are clearly… more interesting than mine… oh, wait… it’s from a webcomic… never mind… we’re all boring… no discount this week… ouch…

Out the door… back down the stairs… total in-store time… under three minutes… just how I like it… quick… and efficient…

Another block… in love again…

Another block… in love again…

At the corner… by the station entrance… Mr. Softee Truck… so hungry… I can already feel… the chocolate… and vanilla… double cone in my hands… I can already taste it… on my tongue… no… can’t have Mr. Softee… as the first meal of the day… self-respect… camera adds… ten pounds… vanity wins… this time…

Through the turnstile… to the end of the platform… customary spot… by the 90210 poster… don’t know anything… about this show… except that… apparently it stars that girl’s ass…

First train comes… rather quickly… of course it’s not the one… I need… damn you… MTA… second train comes… it’s mine… why is the train always so crowded… in the afternoon… after one stop… a seat opens up in front of me… no pregnant women… or old folks… that I can see… the seat is mine…

Humanity’s future is… much safer… on this trip…

Wonder Woman is on the train… apparently… either Wonder Woman or… a girl in royal blue jeans… a bright yellow belt… and a bright red tank top… she gets off… at Delancey St… come back, Diana… I wanted an autograph…



  1. gonzo journalism strikes ifanboy.

     loved it conner, and yes a big city can make you fall in love every five minutes

  2. I fell in love six times yesterday

  3. Hmmmm, time for a walk, I think.

  4. ah this is awesome

  5. Great job Conor. My story involves more Taco Bell. And if i want something that i know my LCS is only gonna order a couple of, my story involves getting up very early.

  6. Paul Montgomery (@fuzzytypewriter) says:

    On The Road…to the lcs.  Love it!

    How did you go about writing this, Conor?  Did you keep notes in the moleskine?

  7. "I hate… all the music on my iPod…"

    Isn’t that always the way?

  8. Awesome article Conor. I love the list of top 3 women on the Subway, the fate of humanity is on you my friend.  So true, it’s easy to fall in love in the summertime. 

  9. I enjoy spotting two ranndom girls on the subway and imagine them dancing to a bad rap song. The only problem is I normally miss my stop when I do that.

  10. "apparently it stars that girl’s ass… in love again…?"

    I’ve been a little elipses crazy myself lately.

    Don’t let women distract you too much you got reading to do.

  11. "Humanity’s future is… much safer… on this trip…"


    Great article!


  12. new york, i love you


  14. That was awesome. New IFanboy favorite.

  15. Every time I call an article on iFanboy the best I’ve read, it always gets topped the next day.

    This is no exception, C-Kil, you’ve raised the bar again. This was nothing short of brilliance! 🙂 

  16. Great article.  Make sure you don’t cut yourself shaving.  The future of humanity might be at risk.

    You New Yorkers complaining about humidity crack me up.  I live in Georgia.  When I went to the shop it was 105 degrees with 100% humidity.  Georgia invented humidity (and racism). 

    So how often do you have to shave that beautiful dome?  My brother-in-law is Italian, so he has to shave his head approximately once every 15 minutes or he looks like Sampson (pre Delilah).

  17. Thanks for the peek behind the curtain Conor! Oh yeah. Right upstairs at the Delancey station is a great Latin cuchifritos restaurant. I highly recommend it.

    I have been disabled for the past year and a half, so my Wednesdays aren’t anywhere near as exciting.

    Generally I wake up. Re-introduce myself to my meds. Sign in to AIM to say hello to my wife at work. Make sure my daughter is fine. Then I fire up my browser windows.

    I have 4 browser windows open. Two of them are websites that I get my comics from. (It usually takes until noon before the scans start trickling in.) One is Ifanboy.com, and the other is my "working browser". The working browser is where I get my emails answered, buy my hard covers on ebay, check news, pay bills, etc..

    In between doing my day to day stuff, I constantly come back and hit "refresh" repeatedly hoping to see a new release get posted. When a comic is released, I download and read it, (It is at this time that I decide if the comic in question is ‘review’ worthy.)

    Oh yeah! I also know that its new video episode day on Ifanboy, and I wait for that with baited breath.

    By the end of the day, the trickle of new books has become a torrent (no pun intended), and I usually have 25-35 comics sitting in the download folder awaiting my attention. This is a good feeling. Needless to say I am up till the wee hours of the morning reading my ill gained comic goodness.

  18. @Unoob – So, you download scans of 25-35 comics a week?  When you are deciding if a comic is "review worthy" are you also deciding if it is "pay for it worthy"?  Do you ever decide to go pay for the comic as a signal to the publisher/writier/artist that you enjoyed it?

    To be clear: I try not to be a hypocrite, so I am not questioning your morals (I wore out Napster back when it existed and that is really no different from what you are doing) I really want to know if you ever go out and buy a book to send a signal to the producer.  You vote with your dollars.  If everyone who loves The Walking Dead (for example) is downloading it rather than paying for it then the book will cease to exist.  The only efficient way comic book companies can track demand is through sales.

  19. A trip to my LCS usually involves a quick fanatasy about living a life with the girl behind the counter and reading comics together.


    @Unoob – Come on man don’t download books. Its not like the artists and writers are millionaires and don’t work hard every month putting out material that we all enjoy. 

  20. There are girls behind the counter at your comic shops? If i could be so lucky. Loved the iPod line and the fate of humanity line. Nice work! But…the…elipsis…were…a…little…much…after…first….line.

  21. Conor you should make this a weekly thing. Actually each iFanboy should do something like this. I completely agree with the iPod list and i actually do the same thing you do just grab what I can remember before I look at my pull list.

    Good Job!! Kudos!!

  22. Times I fell in love today:
    The guy with dark hair and the dog headed toward the bus station
    The guy with lighter hair in the sunglasses headed away from the bus station
    The guy with the shaved head and great briefcase on my street (was really hoping he lived in my building)
    This article. 

  23. This is actually the script to Final Crisis #4.  Conor found it in a cab.

  24. @ Unoob – What’s with all the theivery, dude?

  25. The best part of living in a metropolitan area is the frequency with which you can fall in love.

  26. Great job, Conor — aside from giving us a peek at the inner workings of your brain, it gives a great feel for Manhattan too.  I’m glad I’m not the only one who fantasizes about the other people on the train.

  27. I love it! Style was great on this, I could visualize every step. Great read!

  28. Good job, Hunter!

  29. Be a Man!

  30. Loved it.

    If you’d thrown in a few ‘goddamns’ it would have been perfection.

  31. Conor is the fucking man

  32. Fear and Loathing to the LCS.

  33. Neato

  34. This is great, my favorite line "no discount this week… ouch…" That is a perfectly Midtown Comics moment…I never keep track of where my tab is so that I get the slot machine like surprise of getting that discount…

  35. @stuclach

    I spend aprrox one to two hundred dollars a month on trades/absolutes/etc. (Much to my wife’s chagrin. Check that, Dismay!) I have gone into this in depth in other posts. I do support the industry until it hurts. I just want to look at my collection of books and say "Money well spent" instead of "geez I cant believe I spent all that money and I hate more than half the stuff I bought."

    I dont mean to pull the disability card, but the LCBS is NOT an option for me. So I buy all of my stuff online.

  36. You know what? I dont want to hijack this thread, and feel free to delete, but the current model of floppies does not work for me. Additionally I am not going to "roll the dice" on trades that I dont know I will like. I know most ‘pirates’ never spend a cent. And I feel there is a special place in Hell for them. But I seriously "give until it hurts". I will post a picture of just this years purchases alone if it would make anyone feel better. I felt a twinge of guilt once back in the day, but I went to NY Comic Con this year. It hurt a lot, but I stayed in the city (after meeting the fanboys), and went. I discussed my downloading with creators in Artist Alley. The bottom line is they would rather have my monthly money than not, and if downloading was what got my hand in my pocket, than thats what it is.(Im not going to ‘out’ anyone, but a certain artist that has been accused of ‘tracing/lightboxing’ was very supportive.

    The days of floppies/lcbs are numbered.

    I feel that I am a modern reader. I download, read, and if I enjoy it, I go online and order it.

    And when I buy my books online, i use the coupon code "ifanboy" and get deep discounts.

  37. Nice work there Conor.  That part about pairing off on the train.  I do that all the time.  It’s strange, yet entertaining, fantasizing about post apocalypic life.

  38. Unoob, you are not alone, I do pretty much the same. DL (and this site) has caused my comic trade buying to go through the roof.

  39. @Marbles

    Could I have kept my practices/buying method a secret? Yes I could have. But I feel that this is a point of view that needs to be out there and discussed. Someone called me a thief and it caused me to look at this years purchases and see how much the actual amount of money I spent was. It came out to 250 bucks month! Thats a car payment! If the digital books were not out there I still would not be going to the LCBS to buy floppies. The scans keep me interested in the medium enough to dig deep and purchase the books that I love. 

    I realize that for every person like myself, there are probably a thousand that would never reach in to their pockets. So I know that what I am doing cannot be a viable business model, but here’s an idea, deliver the monthly issues to people (Electronically) as long as the comic company has a commitment from the consumer to purchase X amount of product per month. The more titles they read on a monthly basis, the more the commitment to purchase. The companies will than have a guaranteed cash flow, and the creators of the product that does get selected for shipping can get a bump. Something like that would possibly work. I know I would sign up.

  40. This was fantastic Conor. Really enjoyed it.

    You must find Diana.

  41. i didn’t even bother to read… it… it… all the… energy… sapped… from my… brain… can’t understand… to arty farty… need to… stop writing comment now…

  42. "I hate… all the music on my iPod…"

    Me too.  That’s why my iPod is full of podcasts! 

  43. Remind me why you don’t just DCBS your comics again? I know you’ve said it, but I swear, it doesn’t seem like it’s worth the effort for you to go all the way to the store and give your money to people you’ve no interest in actually interacting with.


  44. @Diabhol – I think that answer to that question is fairly obvious.

  45. Awesome narrative Conor.  I hate that I hate all the music on my ipod feeling right before the subway.

  46. that is a fantastic story! i love it!!!!