200 Words with Paul Dini #8 – Bullwhippin’ Son of a Bitch

April 3, 2008

“What the Hell are you doing, you son of a bitch?!?”

I didn’t take it personally; to the old man everyone on the ranch under eighteen, male or female, blood relative or not was “You son of a bitch.” It made it easier than trying to remember every kid’s name and the old man was getting up there. However, he had caught me farting around with a bullwhip and I knew I was in for it.

“Can you use that?” He barked.

I described a weak semi-circle that smacked the floor and snapped back against my pant leg.

“Gimme that, son of a bitch…” The whip sang in his hand. My whole body flinched. Shrill thunder split the barn. I coughed on the flying dust. At no time did the whip touch me.

“Like that.” The old man said, handing it back. “Keep it straight behind you, bring it up to here… that’s right… again… again…” After twenty minutes I had the hang of it. I thanked him for the lesson and began to roll up the whip. “Hell, no.” He snarled. “Old man Harvey’s buffaloes are back in my pond. Go drive them out, you know how.”

Son of a bitch…


Paul Dini is the Emmy and Eisner Award winning writer of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, Detective Comics, Countdown among many, many other things. You can find him online at either kingofbreakfast.livejournal.com or http://www.jinglebelle.com/.


  1. And this man went on to make cartoons!

  2. My favorite one yet

  3. This story reminds me of how every kid in the world wants to run the lawn mower when they are 9, but dad says, "Not till you are older son."  Then by the time you are 15 you hate mowing so much that you pay your friends to mow the grass for you.

  4. I think that he write a western or a John Hex or somting.

  5. I had a bullwhip once. Attached a pointed ninja star to the end of it.

    I don’t know how I am alive today. 

  6. I’m confused

  7. This was Great.

  8. Old people are cool, but in that creepy way.

  9. Very nice, very nice, indeed.

  10. As a black man … I won’t even go there.

    Yes we can!! 

  11. Awesome little snippet Dini! Wish I went to a ranch. Old people are great and full of knowledge if you just take the time to listen.