June 19, 2008
(With special thanks to Misty Lee)
PAUL: What are we watching?
MISTY: “Sex and the City.”
PAUL (Wincing): Ow. For reals?
MISTY: I’ve never seen it before. All the talk about the movie had me curious.
PAUL: So what’s your verdict?
MISTY: Those women are lizards. Hideous reptiles clawing each other over shoes and men.
PAUL: Like the Skeksis.
MISTY: Excuse me?
PAUL: Monsters in The Dark Crystal obsessed with flamboyance, emotional pettiness and a wasteful attitude toward life.
MISTY: That’s what I said. (Beat) Nothing about this concept is appealing, even on a fantasy “girl empowerment” level. Talk about shallow. These women don’t have the depth of a kid’s wading pool.
PAUL: Personally I would rather watch a hyena devour a dead animal than listen to another one of Carrie Bradshaw’s self-indulgent monologues about clothes.
MISTY: That’s a little extreme.
PAUL: Think so? (Produces laptop, punches up YouTube) Here’s a minute of Carrie prostrating herself in a walk-in closet and blissing out over Manolo Mary Janes:
PAUL: And now here’s a minute of a spotted hyena eating its way though a giraffe’s stomach:”
PAUL: Not much difference, is there?
MISTY: Not much. Except I could probably stand to watch the hyena again.
Paul Dini is the Emmy and Eisner Award winning writer of Batman: The Animated Series, Superman: The Animated Series, Detective Comics, Countdown among many, many other things. You can find him online at either kingofbreakfast.livejournal.com or http://www.jinglebelle.com/.
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Hahahahaha, okay, that’s funny.
Though I now have a kind of weird urge to defend this show. I’m not actually going to DO it, but there’s the urge.
I’ll just have to content myself imagining a scene between Carrie, who just spent $900.00 on a pair of shoes, and some guy who just spent $900.00 on some rare piece of geek memorabilia, and they try to convince each other that one of these choices is actually sillier than the other.
"And I thought they smelled awful…on the outside."
Is there a video of a hyena eating its way to Carrie Bradshaw’s stomach? I’d watch that.*
*As much as I love my wife, I blame her for my hatred of Sex and the City and
BarabaroSarah Jessica Parker.Allowing my wife (!?) to indulge her Sex and the City fetish enables me to continue my comix buying habits. When she questions my $500 purchase of *gasp* COMIC BOOKS!? I buy her a pair of Manolo shoes. It’s expensive, but it buys me more time! To each his own!
BTW Does this copy of The Incredible Hulk make my hips look fat?
Borvo! Paul Borvo! This by far the best and funnyest artical that you done thus far. My sisster really whats to see this movie.She keeps on trying to get me to see it because she donse’t have any friends to go see it with. Theres no way iam never going to see this movie!
Nice Dark Crystal reference, as well as ESB Josh. "Eww, its like Orsen Welles’ autopsy."
Ha! Awesome. I’m showing this to my fiance when she gets home.
i just love the fact that a Sex in the city quiz AD showed up with this article.
That giraffe is so cute.