So lately I’ve been writing too many “good” reviews – using fucking quotes be Gandhi and shit. I need to get my head out of the clouds and my feet back on the ground and get back to comic book review basics.

What better way to do this then read a shitty-ass comic like Wolverine MAX?

Well okay, perhaps “shitty-ass” is a little hard – let’s go with…

Wolverine MAX is a Doo Doo-Butt comic.

“But ghostmann, Wolverine is awesome and gets to say FUCK in this comic!”

Yeah that’s true, it’s is kinda cool to read Logan saying “fuck” but hey, didn’t he say “Fuck off.” in X-Men First Class? Yeah, and that movie wasn’t even an MAX version of the team. So, Wolvie’s foul language here in the book isn’t enough to make it that cool.

“But ghostmann, Logan gets to have sex with a hot stripper chick in this issue!”

Also true – Wolverine does indeed…. wait a sec, no he DOESN’T have sex with the hot stripper chick he meets at the beach in this issue (the beach pick-up scene is some of the worst dialog I’ve read this year in a comic book. Groan inducing.).

No sex with the Stripper?!!! WHAT? I thought this was Wolverine MAX goddamn it? He should be fucking everything that moves in this comic. Instead we get the “nice” version of Logan where is best friend is a dog and he respects woman and wants to help out the poor stripper chick that is in over her head with some bad men. NO MAN! Wolverine needs to be fucking on every page as he popping his claws and cutting people up saying “FUCK” the whole time. THAT is a MAX comic. (see, Marvel needs to hire me to write this shit. Can’t you picture every of my page of my MAX Comic featuring a naked Wolverine having sex with hot strippers while he is slashing some bad guys and saying the “F” word? Look out Eisners, here I come!)

“This is not a MAX Comic. This is doogy doo doo.” – Gandhi, from an alternate universe where the dude is still alive and reading comics.