OPENING SCENE – DC COMICS BOARDROOM: DAY

EVIL DC BOSS
“So yes, to answer your question Johns, Snyder, and Morrison get to do whatever they want. Do not not interfere.

NEW DC EDITOR
“But what if they want to kill a beloved character like say, uhm, Damian Wayne? I mean the fans would go crazy if anything ever happened to that kid.”

EVIL DC BOSS LOOKS AT THE NEW DC EDITOR AND SMILES – THEN HE LOOKS DOWN AND PRESSES A BUTTON THE FLOOR UNDERNEATH THE NEW DC EDITOR OPENS UP AND HE AND CHAIR FALL DOWN INTO A FIERY PIT BELOW.

EVIL DC BOSS
“Anyone else have anything to add to Johns, Snyder, and Morrison directive?

THE OTHER DC EDITORS ALL SHAKE THEIR HEADS IN UNISON

EVIL DC BOSS
“No, good. Okay then on to the next matter at hand – Suicide Squad. As you are well aware this title is not one of our best selling ones. We need to decide now whether to cancel or continue. I will say that I am leaning towards canceling the book, that is unless one of you has a good plan that will keep this book going. Anyone?”

THE OTHER EDITORS LOOK AROUND AT EACH OTHER, NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING.

EVIL DC BOSS
“No one has a plan they would like to implement? No one here has any good ideas to keep Suicide Squad from being canceled?”

FROM THE BACK OF THE ROOM A SMALL VOICE IS HEARD
“I think I do, uh, sir.”

EVIL DC BOSS
“What was that? Who was that? Did someone say something?”

FROM THE BACK OF THE BOARDROOM SCOTT LOBDELL EMERGES FROM THE SHADOWS
“It was me sir, Scott. I think I have a idea that might work.”

EVIL DC BOSS
“Ahh Scott, my faithful little lackey, I knew I could count on you to have a plan. Please, tell us what you have come up with.”

SCOTT LOBDELL
“Well sir, my plan involves bringing in a new writer to make the book better.”

EVIL DC BOSS DOESN’T LOOK HAPPY
“Are you kidding me Scott? This is your master-plan? Bring in a new writer? We do that shit all time and it costs us money!”

SCOTT LOBDELL
“Hear me out – we bring in a new writer, someone good and full of fresh ideas and yes I know these kind of writers cost more money but trust me, it will all work out. Okay then, we tell the writer, “look, you can do anything you want with this series, shake things up, get rid of characters or plot devices that you don’t think works, you have carte blanche! We will not get in your way.” We let that writer change the direction of the book – now either two things will happen next: One, the book will still continue to sale poorly and get canceled – if this happens then we can blame the new writer and not take any blame. Or two: The book starts to sale better and a buzz starts to grow around it. People start talking about it on comic book websites. Things change for Suicide Squad and it starts to make us money – we let the new writer continue to build a fan base around the book and keep the new ideas coming in for about 3 or 4 issues, then we fire him and hire a cheaper writer to take over and say to them, “Just keep doing what the previous writer did. DON”T CHANGE ANYTHING.” My plan is what is called a “win win”.”

EVIL DC BOSS
“Scott you sick twisted bastard, I LOVE IT! Hire a good writer for 3 issues to show us how to make Suicide Squad better then fire them and hire a cheaper writer to copy the formula. Brilliant!

SCOTT LOBDELL
“Thank you. And don’t worry with our Non Disclosure Agreements the new writer can’t say a thing – people will chalk it up to “creative differences”. If this plan works I can see us utilizing it on other sagging titles. For Suicide Squad I think I found the perfect guy – his name is Ales……

SUDDENLY A BRIGHT LIGHT APPEARS IN THE BOARDROOM. THE SOUND OF THUNDER AND LIGHTENING FILL THE ROOM AND A MAGIC PORTAL OPENS. OUT STEPS KAREN BERGER AND NEIL GAIMAN.

KAREN BERGER
“I can’t let you do this DC. You have gone too far. Neil, take care of them.”

NEIL GAIMAN
“With pleasure.”

NEIL STRETCHES OUT HIS HAND AND A BOLT OF BLUE LIGHT ERUPTS FROM HIS FINGERTIP, VAPORIZING THE EVIL DC BOSS.

KAREN BERGER
“Let this be a warning to those of you we left alive – we are watching you.”

THE MAGIC PORTAL VANISHES.