Hello, and welcome to Job Evaluations. We stumbled upon a box of files here at the iFanboy HQ. Inside that box were performance reviews for jobs kept by many of the characters we read about week to week. Let’s dive in!
NAME: The Max Rebo Band
OCCUPATION: House Band
EVALUATED BY: Jabba the Hutt (with assistance from a translation droid)
We love the fine arts here at the Palace. We embrace everything from music and dance to beautiful works of art. Music being our most favored form of entertainment. Several bands would come and play the Palace and they were all great. We had the Modal Nodes come through here, Pekkie Blu and the Starboys played a few sets, we even had a visit from Mrp-Mrp Poo. If you ever had a chance to see her live you really should. She is just fantastic.
These bands would come and play and they would be great, but then they would leave and there would be no band. If there is no band there is no music and if there is no music then there is no dancing Twi’leks and if there is no dancing Twi’leks there is no happy Jabba. So I turn to Bib Fortuna. “Bib you’re a music guy? You think we can get a permanent act here?” Bib always has some new band that he is into and won’t stop talking about. That is until they make it big and he hates them but that’s just Bib. Anyways, Bib sends a droid over to play a hologram of this band and they had a great sound. I booked them immediately.
THE FIRST GIG
It was the original four: Max Rebo, Sy Snootles, Droopy McCool and Joh Yowza. They did a little set. They were good. Not perfect but good. I recommended they add some more instruments. I gave them the names of some musicians I had also enslaved, Doda and Rappertunie, who both joined the band quickly. That’s how it came together. I offered a lifetime contract or death. Next thing we knew, we had a house band and damn good one too.
Oh yeah, they were going by the name Max Rebo and the Galactic Raiders. I said, “Drop the galactic raiders bit, just shorten it to The Max Rebo band.” They did and immediately they took off here at the Palace.
We had some great parties then. Times were so much simpler. Money was good. Business was great. It was a fun, happening place. This also right before they blew up with “Jedi Rocks”. I will never forget. Salacious Crumb and I were just hanging out late one night. Shooting a few back. Talking. Max walks in and says he just wrote a new song. He then sits down and plays “Jedi Rocks” on his organ. It was beautiful. So yeah, me and Crumb were the first ones to hear that song. It was in its early stages before Snooty really dominated the vocals. A little bit slower and a lot more sentimental.
It sure is fun to reminisce on those times. This is before things got bad. I mean they still play here because they have a lifetime contract of servitude to me but I can just tell their hearts aren’t in it anymore. Snootles and Joh Yowza hog the spotlight and ham it up. All that drug use has caught up to Droopy. And Max, poor Max, you can just tell he has just been beaten down by this industry. He hates playing “Jedi Rocks” that’s for sure but he has to. I will feed him to the Rancor if he doesn’t.
THE LINER NOTES (BANDS RESPONSE)
We all have some great ideas for solo projects that we want to pursue but Jabba will freeze us in carbonite if we don’t play “Jedi Rocks” every single night. Sometimes he let’s us play “Lapti Nek” but that’s only when he’s feeling really drunk and nostalgic.