ULTIMATES 3 #5 (OF 5)
What did the
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Size: pages
Price: 2.99
This review contains spoilers, click here to read
Ugh, so glad this is over with.
When Ultron started talking aloud to itself to explain the plot to the reader, I just shook my head and settled in for one last crappy chapter of Ultimates 3. There was like *a* great panel in the entire story--the one that was lifted straight from Ultimates 2. Remember when the story was still compelling and made sense, and the characters were being developed and treated with respect? Ah, good times.
So then there's the lack of internal logic even within this final issue--it's explained that the copies are maintained effectively by keeping the originals in the glass case of goo, like Tony...yet Cap has been hiding in the Black Panther uniform the whole time, so how does that work for his robot copy that was hanging out with him, being Cap? And why was Cap just pretending to be the Black Panther when he knew there was a robot pretending to be him?
And back to the Ultron thing...did that entire crappy story happen just so that there could be a panel that read: "It was a crime of passion...and no one guessed the butler did it." Ultimate Scarlet Witch deserved better. And Ultimate Quicksilver was a seriously cool character in vols. 1 & 2. They were always entertaining, and it was great to see them...in v.3 they were just plot devicey dupes, and the mystery story made little sense, in retrospect.
Maybe I'm judging it unfairly...maybe if I went back and reread the whole story from issue 1 now that it's done, it would seem less insipid than I remember. I don't know...all I'm sure of is that I have enjoyed every part of this so little that I am disinclined toward giving it a second read. Also dropping Loeb's Hulk as of this week's issue, as that is clearly going nowhere.
Elsewhere in the Ultimate Universe, however, the FF/X-Men Annual has made Ultimatum enticing and provided useful information regarding what's to come. Bravo other Heroes writer guys for succeeding where Loeb failed.
Art: 4 - Very Good
I never understood why Loeb receives all the acclaim. This is in the same lines of Hush, which I hated (100% exposition.) His works seem to involve including as many characters as he can (Hush) that really holds no relevance to the overall plot. (also, see Kevin Smith’s Marvel Knight’s Daredevil.) I feel like Loeb is like K.Smith and Robin Williams; people are to nervous to not like their works.
I keep telling you people, Robot Cap wasn’t around until the end of issue #4!!! The whole time prior to that, Cap and Panther were the same person. Didn’t anyone notice that you never see both of them at the same time?!? Cap wasn’t around during the Venom fight and in the trip to The Savage Land because he was dressed as Panther. Panther wasn’t around when Cap was wandering around the mansion because he was dressed as Cap. Get it???
Wow, how did we fit Kevin Smith bashing into this comment board? Ultimates 3 was terrible and poorly written. Kevin Smith and Jeph Loeb have pretty much nothing in common as writers. And Kevin Smith’s Daredevil was… really, really good.
Okay, I can stop now.
I suspect if you read all the issues together it would be even worse. Insipid is a very good description of this garbage. I have to give Loeb credit though, every time I think he can’t get any worse he manages to surpass himself.
Please somebody stop him…