Comments

1. Bedhead says:

   August 20, 2009 at 10:31 pm

   Dumb me could not get the paragraph breaks to work (thus all the back slashes).  Here’s the text with breaks:

   I read it once, twice, three times, through and through;

   I read each sorry page, and I didn’t know what to do.

   What could I write, how could I display any sort of  originality?

   Were there any more adjectives available for this new banality?

   You see I’d already excoriated The Hangman (article included)

   And I feared writing a similar review would mark me as deluded.

   They’d call me a crazy fanboy, rambling, drooling, likely feral

   If I continued to shoot such slow fish in such a small barrel.

   Why go on, why continue to take your money and invest

   In the recent consistently mediocre work of sad JMS?

   For God’s sakes man, leave us alone, just let us frickin’ be

   All us poor, poor fans of the once great Mr. J. Straczynski.

   But, I cry back, I cannot!  For I am not just another web-based screamer

   No, no, dear friends, I am much like you, I am ever the hopeful dreamer.

   I see a day in the future in which fortunes will turn, tides will ebb

   And we will no longer be subjected to forgetful dreck like The Web.

   The contrast between this comic and previous JMS work could not be starker:

   For one thing, the origins of his characters weren’t just rips offs of Peter Parker.

   You see the Web is a hero who used his powers for fortune and fame

   But his arrogance cost him the life of a loved one, to his great shame.

   Now he has dedicated himself and his unexplained, undefined power

   To helping the poor, day after tedious day, hour after tedious hour.

   There’s nothing new, exciting, or interesting about this first issue

   And the art is so dull I suspect it may have been drawn on a tissue.

   (Very oddly, as with The Hangman, we see a man whose facial hair comes and goes;

   One can only assume it poofs on and off depending on which way the wind blows.)

   What happened to the JMS of Rising Stars, Supreme Power, and Thor?

   How did a writer go from being such an original to being such a bore?

   Someone needs to do something, the man needs help, he needs wrangling;

   He needs to focus on comics and not on the DVD sales for the Changeling.

   (OK, yeah, sorry, I know that last one was kind of a stretch;

   I’ll give you a moment to excuse yourself if you need to wretch.)

   You see people, I’m not just some anti-JMS fanboy predator;

   I’m just saying, lately the guy could use a stronger editor.

   The man is undoubtedly a master of the word, letter after subjugated letter.

   Maybe, perhaps the man just needs someone to say to him he can do better.

   Not in yet another oversized, underwhelming screed full of rank and ire

   But in something different, something original, something meant to inspire. 

   And thus I changed my style, decided in this instance to neither rant nor curse,

   But simply to say “please JMS, you’re capable of more”, while writing in verse.

    

   (New non-rhyming policy:  If I give a bad review, I’m going to recommend a superior work by the same creator.  Check out Amazing Spider-Man #500, one of the best anniversary issues of all time.)

    

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2. daccampo says:

   August 21, 2009 at 6:19 pm

   Nicely done. Clapclapclap. How can one argue with a review done in verse? 🙂

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3. akamuu says:

   August 25, 2009 at 1:25 am

   A+  (the review, not the comic)

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