Meanwhile, back at the Hall of Justice….

SUPERMAN
“I’ve gathered you all here today, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, and the Flash to discuss a threat so great that Darkseid himself trembles in fear. Us all can be wiped out in the blink of an eye if this new villain so chooses and we won’t even see it coming when it happens. Never before have we faced such an evil. The time is now to band together with all our powers and defeat this new enemy.”

THE FLASH
“Who or what is this new threat Superman?”

SUPERMAN
“His name…. is Geoff Johns.”

GREEN LANTERN
“Jeff who?”

BATMAN
“That’s Geoff, with a ‘G’ Hal.”

GREEN LANTERN
“How the fuck did you know I was pronouncing it with a “J”?

SUPERMAN
“Enough you two, we have no time for your squabbling. Hal, Geoff Johns is the guy that is currently writing our comic book – and doing a poor job of it. So much so that our reputations are on the line here. We have to come up with a way to beat Johns before it’s too late. And it very well may be.”

WONDER WOMAN
“Superman is right guys. Have you read the last 10 issues of our comic book? My god the man is single handedly destroying everything we have built in the last 50 years. He is making us out to be nothing but a kids comic.”

BATMAN
“Well, isn’t that what we are?”

GREEN LANTERN
“Shut up Bruce. Wonder Woman is right, I’m being written like a douche bag. I’m not a douche bag. Right guys?”

SILENCE FALLS OVER THE HALL

SUPERMAN
“Anyway, I’ve taken the liberty of compiling names and phone numbers of some writers I think might be able to save us. My hope is that we can convince one of them to come aboard and return the JLA to being the greatest Super Hero Team there is. Flash can you quickly hand out the…..”

THE FLASH
“Done.”

SUPERMAN
“Thanks. Okay, so the first name on the list is I believe our best chance at regaining they glory that is the Justice League, Mr. Grant Morrison.”

BATMAN
“As long as we doesn’t kill me again I’m cool with Grant. His run with us back in the 90’s was some of my favorite times as a Justice League member. Remember when I saved you all from the White Martians? Man that was cool.”

GREEN LANTERN
“I don’t know, I’m partal to J.M DeMatteis and Keith Giffen. I loved the humor they brought to the League, not to mention that time they had Bat-Dude here punch out that jerk Guy Gardner.”

WONDER WOMAN
“Not to sound mean or anything, but have you read Justice League International that Giffen was writing lately? Yeah, not that good. I think Giffen’s time has come and gone.”

SUPERMAN
“I agree. Plus, what we need is not humor to save us here. We need EPIC! We need a storyline and event that feels important and the ramifications monumental. All we have now under Geoff Johns is a third rate villain and juvenile dialog.”

GREEN LANTERN
“What about Alan Moore?”

THE HALL ERUPTS IN LAUGHTER

BATMAN
“Good one Hal.”

AQUAMAN
“Can I chime in here?”

EVERYONE AT ONCE
“No!”

AQUAMAN HANGS HIS HEAD AND SLUMPS IN HIS CHAIR

THE FLASH
“Who else is on the list here…. ahhh, I like Mark Waid. He did great things with me before, but isn’t he a bit busy at the moment winning Eisners for his work on Daredevil?”

SUPERMAN
“Yeah, it’s a long shot but it couldn’t hurt to call him and ask. Also I included the names of the guys currently writing the “X” books for marvel – they are a doing a bang up job on titles like Wolverine and the X-Men and Uncanny X-Force. Wonder Woman, perhaps you can call Rick Remender and Jason Aaron and see if you can’t “sweet talk” them into coming over to DC.”

WONDER WOMAN
“Oh sure Kal, you want me to breathe heavy on the phone too?”

SUPERMAN
“Errr… uhh…. that’s not, that’s not what I meant. Look, it’s just desperate times call for desperate measures. We have to use all our skills to find a good writer to come and save us.”

WONDER WOMAN
“No, you are right Kal. I’ll do my best.”

SUPERMAN
“Thanks Diana. Okay everyone, our darkest hour is now upon us. May we overcome this John’s, our greatest foe, and pray for a re-boot. God speed.”