Hello. My name is Erik. I’m a batalcholic. Even though I can’t stand Batman: The Dark Knight and hate every thing about, when that 3rd week of the month rolls around, and I walk into the comic book store, and there is only ONE new Batman comic on the shelf, and that comic is Batman: The Dark Knight, I just can’t help myself but to pick it up and buy it. I know it’s insane, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, but I always end up with the same result. With the same feeling….. “this comic is fucking bullshit!”

The Twelve Steps of Batalcoholics Anonymous

1. We admitted we were powerless over Batman – that our comic book reading had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Comic Book Writer greater than David Finch could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Grant Morrison as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our comic book collection.

5. Admitted to Grant Morrison, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have Grant Morrison (or Scott Snyder) remove all these defects of character by re-reading their Batman runs instead of Batman: The Dark Knight.

7. Humbly asked our significant other to remove the issues of Batman: The Dark Knight from our longbox.

8. Made a list of all comics we passed over and didn’t read because we bought Batman: The Dark Knight instead, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such comics wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory of our longboxes and when we found a shitty comic in them promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Grant Morrison as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of Grant’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to Batalcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.