Daredevil vs. Doctor Mid-Nite
The doctor hadn't made up his mind about Peruvian cuisine by the time he parted ways with Power Girl that last evening of the Ninth Avenue Food Festival. The owl perched on his shoulder seemed to like the scraps, but then the owl liked just about anything. The Kryptonian had slapped him with her Playbill before soaring off to the Brownstone. A doctor had no right being so picky, she'd laughed.
It was an unseasonably warm night for May, but the breeze carried the scent of spices through the boulevards and alleys of Clinton. The doctor's senses were abuzz. He decided to take the long way home.
It was not long before the doctor noticed the ninjas. Some followed on foot, but many were leaping from the rooftops and fire escapes overhead. He stopped counting after isolating a baker's dozen heart rates. He paused then, and the owl took to the air, circling slowly before taking perch on a street lamp.
"A little late to be out alone in Hell's Kitchen." came the voice, low and gruff.
The doctor turned and scanned the darkness. A man in red tights was perched on a gargoyle. The doctor wondered if he'd brought the thing with him.
"Well, I have my seeing-eye owl. He's named Charlie, after my predecessor. I'm Doctor Mid-Nite. Justice Society." He put out his hand.
The man in red sneered. "This place is dangerous for anybody. Owls and physicians included. I'm Daredevil, and this is my beat."
Mid-Nite was about to protest, but then he saw the notification from his goggles. He put down his hand and advanced toward the sullen man in red. "Are you…blind?" he asked.
"As blind as justice herself."
"So, entirely blind then." said Mid-Nite.
"I make up for it."
"How so? The Sharks and the Jets, there?" said Mid-Nite, gesturing to the scores of ninja skulking in the shadows.
"Those are the Hand. But I don't need them, really," said Daredevil, shooing the Hand away. They cartwheeled off into the night. "My remaining senses are very keen because of isotopes and a childhood accident. I went to law school and they kept pushing Braille books at me, but I just used regular books because I can feel ink."
"I have special glasses," said Mid-Nite. "I don't have any ninjas, but my owl once took a pill and flew through a guy."
Charlie did the unsettling thing where his head turns around farther than new people might expect it to go. Daredevil couldn't really see it.
"You know this place has been gentrified, right?" said Mid-Nite. "This isn't a Charles Bronson movie."
"I don't understand that reference!" shouted Daredevil as he leapt toward the physician, who he deemed an incredibly mouthy tourist.
Daredevil vs. Doctor Mid-Nite
Who Wins?
(Show your work)
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In the contest of lawyer vs. doctor, the lawyer wins every time. That’s just the way things are. I hate it as much as you do.
My bias for Sawbones may be showing on this one.
But seriously. The owl flew through a guy! (Actually, it was probably the previous owl. I’ll have to double check.)
I’m not very up on my Doctor Mid-nite knowledge, but I have to assume that DD is a far superior combatant.
This may be my favorite bit of fanfic prose ever. 🙂
I thought that said Doctor Manhattan at first, which made me laugh out loud at how ridiculously one-sided and very sad that fight would be
It’s lucky that Doctor Mid-Nite is medical professional. He’ll need his skills to put himself back together after Daredevil’s through with him.
@Dan – Amen Brother!
@Dan – What about Doctor vs Lawyer vs Investment Banker?
I don’t read JSA so Doc Mid Nite is mystery to me. With that said its a tie and they both go for ice cream.
Midnight bombs? Not so useful here. This does not go well for Dr. Mid-nite. I did enjoy the gentrification comment. I was just looking at a map of Manhattan going, say, Hell’s Kitchen is actually a nice place to live. Who knew?
"incredibly mouthy tourist" made me lol.
Who drew that Daredevil? I remember seeing that picture months ago and loving it.
@Slockhart Grampa.
Oh, Dr Midnite is blind? Huh. That explains a lot.
daredevil throws his billy club and breaks mid-nite’s goggles. daredevil kicks his butt and then steals the owl to have stuffed and mounted over his fireplace.
Daredevil sulks off in to the night, randomly thinking about Karen Page. Meanwhile, the ninja circle Doctor Mid-Nite and beat him like they were the LAPD.
Winner: Daredevil
The two begin fighting and each realize and acknowledge the skill of the other fighter. Each look for openings in which to gain the upper hand on thier opponent. With each combatant having super senses, both Daredevil and Mid-Nite are at a stand still. Then suddenly a thought dawns on Matt.
"Of course if I befriend him then… excellent". Matt mutters.
Dr. Mid-Nite replies, "What are you talking about ‘befriend’ me? We are locked in the heat of battle."
"Lets be reasonable, we are both superoheroes after all. Why don’t we just drop this. I’ll even have one of my Hand ninjas escort you home", suggest Daredevil.
"Oh very well, I just want to get home. It’s been a long day.", responds Dr. Mid-Nite.
"Farewell Doctor", Daredevil says.
"Good night", Mid-Nite replies .
Dr. Mid-Nite walks home escorted by the Hand ninja Daredevil promised. The Hand Ninja stops Dr. Mid-Nite just a few houses down from the Brownstone.
"Stop you’re in danger Doctor.", says the ninja.
"What? What do you mean? I don’t hear anything." says Dr. Mid-Nite.
The ninja leans into Dr. Mid-Nite and whispers in his ear, "I’m talking about me."
The nameless ninja then thrust a concealed dagger into a the back of Dr. Mid-Nite.
"You sure have lousy taste in friends. Don’t you know what happens to thoughs who ‘befriend’ Dareedevil? Ha, ha, ha.", the ninja says as he pulls the dagger out.
It is then that Mid-Nite realizes, "Befriend, that bastard set me uppppp……"
Dr. Mid-Nite falls to the ground dead. The Hand ninja pulls off his mask and reveals himself to be none other than Bullseye. He then pull sout a cell phone and make a call.
"Hello Mr. Fisk, this is Bullseye. How much is it worth to you fro the location of the JSA’s base of operations?", ask Bullseye.
Theh Kingpin responds, "The ususal, no more."
"Excellent, wire it to my account and I’ll send you the data", says Bullseye.
Meanwhile back in Hell’s Kitchen Deadpool shows up.
Daredevil perched on the same gargoyle say again for the second time tonight, "A little late to be out alone in Hell’s Kitchen."
"He don’t know me very well do he?" Deadpool responds to no one. "Can we just be friends?"
"Friends?" Daredevil muses with a smile. "Yes friends, let’s be friends."
Dr. Mid-Nite barely dodged his opponents attack. He would only have seconds before "The Daredevil" would come about.
Obviously Daredevil was mad as a hatter, but Mid-Nite could also sense Daredevil was perhaps once a man bound by honor – verses the glory bound ruffian he was now. He seemed to have been touch by the spirit of death more than Mid-Nite himself. But in the here-and-now Daredevil was certainly mentally ill, for only the mentally ill fail to recognize the name "Charles Bronson". Mid-Nite could easily detect the collected efforts of Lord Bendis, The Brubaker, and Prince Miller, perhaps even a hint of the near fatal touch of Count Smith (scoundrels of the lowest order), and their efforts had so broken his mind and crushed his psyche.
Daredevil quickly reminded him there was more here than contemplating the low-lifes of this world. Mid-Nite rolled with the new punch, yet still the glance was intense.
In the realm of fisticuffs, Mid-Nite would not last long. If he only had time enough to get his special item, a tool he had on himself tonight for the first time in a long while.
Daredevil launched himself again at Mid-Nite intent on the kill. "I have you now, Doctor, you shall feel my fury and…"
The Devil fell to the ground, immobile and quickly becoming motionless as his remaining energy died out.
Dr. Mid-Nite stowed his cryotuber, and slung Daredevils body over his shoulder.
"I will make you right again. That is a promise my friend."
After months of difficult treatments (interrupted occasionally by the random ninja, and a former Soviet agent), Matt Murdock emerged from Dr. Mid-Nite’s lab, a restored man.
"Thank you, Mid-Nite. Thank you. I am sane once more!" Tears streamed from Matt Murdock’s blank useless eyes.
Dr. Mid-Nite smiled, giving his former patient a hug of friendship.
Over the following years Matt Murdock abandoned his Daredevil persona, adopting the name "Dare-Angel", joined the JSA, later marrying PowerGirl (much to the chagrin of his JSA team mates) in a private ceremony in the Bronx.
Dr. Mid-Nite himself fared well, with a few professional missteps, yet managed to have a positive outlook on life. After it came out he had failed to pay taxes dating back before he was born (see Dr. Mid-Nite #32, "Attack of the Taxing Time Machine!"), and his failed attempt at the "Mid-Nite @ Midnight" talk show on FOX (he was quickly replaced by Conan Obrien), he later moved to Cleveland, Ohio where he now happily works as a Reference librarian. He is married, with two lovely children, and three owls which "…deliver the mail to me, just like in Harry Potter" as he points out to all the neighborhood "lil ruffians" (his words).
So who won this fight? YOU DECIDE!
@powerdad Anyone who spends the rest of their days banging Power Girl wins at life. 🙂
Oh, @Diabhol, you hopeless romantic! 😉
Charles McNider kicks Daredevils ass. The New Guy… still kicks Daredevils ass.
Okay, I had one more fight story come to mind, so I thought I would post a second time.
THE FIGHT : IN SOUND!
SWISH! WOOSH!
"Nice try, Daredevil, but I’ve learned from some of the best. I’ve trained a bit with The Batman. OUCH!"
POW!
"But it appears no one has taught you to talk and fight at the same time, Nite. And who’s ‘The Batman’? Never heard of the guy. OH!!"
CRUNCH!
"You say I have a problem talking and fighting, huh. And you know Batman! Who doesn’t know Batman? ARGH!!"
KA-POW!
"I haven’t heard of him. Maybe Spider-Man’s dealt with him. Our villains don’t always mix. OH, SO CLOSE!"
SSSSSWWOOOOOSSSSHHHHH!
"I haven’t heard of Spider-Man. Is he new? Plus who are you declaring a villain, villain. You attacked me first! You’re the villain here…OH MERCIFUL MOTHER!!"
CRUNCH! SOCK!
"Wait, you haven’t…OH GOD…you haven’t heard of Spider-Man. Don’t you read the Daily Bugle? Sure its a rag at times, but…AH!"
KRUMP!
"I only read the Daily Planet. I use to read the Daily Star, until it just disappeared in one of those damn Universe re-organization things. I’d blame one of those Monitors, but ‘m not sure how much control they have anymore…MOMMA!!"
CLIPPA!
"Monitor? You mean Watcher. MOTHER MARY!!"
KLUNK!!
"Wait, it’s like…*puff, puff*…there’s a good chance here…*huff, huff*…of another one of those universe things. Like Civic City really being Gotham City and then back again, and again. OH GOD WILL YOU STOP THAT!!"
WOOSH, SWISH, PWEE!!
"Okay…*cough*…break time. I’ve never heard of any of those places. You seem to know New York. HEY!!"
PECK, PECK!! SCRATCH!!
"Sorry, I forgot to call off Charlie. Bad owl, bad owl! Yes, our headquarters are in the city. We should take a minute and see if there is something which is out of place for both of us. That might provide a clue. WOOAAA!"
SWEEEE! THUMP!
"Sorry, Mid-Nite, I threw the banana peel there earlier to trip you up. Let me help you to your feet. Well, looking around the skyline I don’t see anything. Wait a minute, what’s that over…GET OFF ME!!!"
SCRATCH!! PECK, PECK!!
"BAD OWL, BAD OWL!! WOOAAA!"
SWEEEEPP! DA-THUMP!
"Sorry, I forgot about the second peel. Over there, see that tower! Do you recognize it? OH HIDDEN POTHOLE WITH WATER!!"
BULMP! SPLASH!!
"No, never seen that tower before. I think that’s where the Teen Titan tower used to be until they moved to San Francisco. A-CHOO!! SEWER GASES MAKE ME SNEEZE!"
SSSSSSSSSSSSS!!
"Teen Titan? You mean like the X-Men, they moved to San Fran, but I think they’re on an asteroid or something now. I think that’s where the Sentry’s Tower is supposed to be. OH, YOU’RE BIRD JUST POOPED ON ME!"
PLOP!
"BAD OWL, BAD OWL!! Sentry? Who’s he? EEEEEEE! A RAT!! GET HIM CHARLIE!!"
TATATATATA!! SWOOOSH!! CCAAAWWW!
"The Sentry is just a Superman knock-off with emotional problems. OH GOD IT’S EATING THE RAT!!"
CRUNK! SLURP! RIP!
"Bird’s gotta eat, pal. Wait, you know who Superman is? How is that possible? EEEEE!! MORE RATS!"
"Sure, I know Superman. Everyone knows who Superman is. He’s the most famous superhero. He’s more recognized than world leaders or Hollywood celebrities. OH GOD JUST FINISH THE FIRST ONE, YOU STINKING BIRD!"
SWOOOSH!! CCAAAWWW!
"Devil-Man is right, one rat at a time, Charlie! I’m trying my different visions to look at it, and I can see immense power directed directly towards us. Wait, I’ve seen this before. Batman recorded the data last Tuesday. The power made him fight some other patriotic American guy with a shield he had never heard of before. WOOAAA!!!"
SKKEEE! KA-PLUMP!
"Wow, I don’t know where that third banana peel came from. I just had the two. I remember Captain America, a patriotic American guy with a shield, fought some creep guy who turned out to be a hero. I think that location is making heroes fight. Let’s get it!! OH THAT POTHOLE AGAIN!!"
KLAMP! SPLASH!!
"WAIT!! We need to plan the attack! Written across it’s top says ‘iFanboy’. I think it’s part of some sort of strange cryptic message, like ‘One if an boy, two if an girl.’ or something like that. OH! MICE!"
TATTATATATATATTATATATATATAT!!
"Well, if that ‘If An Boy’ tower wants a fight, then they’re going to get it! CHARGE!! OH YOU RAN INTO ME!! LOOK WHERE YOU’RE GOING!!"
CLUNK!
"HEY, YOU RAN INTO ME! LOOK WHERE YOU’RE GOING!! ARE YOU BLIND?! OH!!"
POW!
"YES, I AM BLIND, WANT TO MAKE SOMETHING OF IT?! OH, SCREW ‘THE BOY’ TOWER! I’M FIGHTING YOU! OOOOOUUUU!!"
THUMP!
"SURE THING, PAL! AAAAHHHH!! THE PAIN!!!"
CLUNK! POP! CRACK!
Winner: Paul Montgomery for selecting another awesome fight combination!
Based on the above artwork I think the fight should be "Dardevil battles a freaking Iron", as he seems to have a few wrinkles going on…
@Hawkboy, it sounds like you’re saying Daredevil should fight…(wait for it)…(wait for it)…IRON MAN!
Thank you, thank you! Make sure to tip your waitress. I’m here all week.