Tuesday Showdown: Batman (Dick) vs. Captain America (Bucky)

Tuesday Showdown: Batman vs. Captain America

Batman (Dick) vs. Captain America (Bucky)

Captain America watched the rest of the Avengers and Justice League file out of the conference. It was the first official meeting between the two new teams and everyone was in "get to know you" mode. There was loud boisterous talking and laughing as everyone headed to the Justice League's satellite rec room for some post-meeting letting off of steam.

Everyone, that is, except Batman. Captain America looked over to see The Dark Knight still sitting at the conference table. He was slumped over, his chin resting in the palm of his hand and with his other hand he was absentmindedly reforming the pages of the minutes of the meeting that Wolverine had cut into bits just minutes before. Batman's body heaved with a big sigh.

Captain America was perplexed. This wasn't the Batman he read about in the Avengers' files. This was the guy who everyone on the Avengers was at least a little scared of? You couldn't even say his name without Spider-Man yelping like a little girl.

Captain America dropped his voice an octave, "Everything okay, Batman?"

Batman looked up from the table and smiled. "Oh, hey Ja–er, Captain America."

Captain America cleared his throat and brought his voice back to normal. "Ah, I see you know who I am. I guess I shouldn't be surprised conisdering all I've heard about you."

"Well, thanks. That's– oh. You think I'm… yeah, I'm not actually the original Batman. He died. I'm his first partner."

Captain America's face lit up and he took a seat across from Batman. Finally, someone else who might understand.

"So are you having an existential crisis," Captain America asked. "Like you're not supposed to be here?"

"Me, you shouldn't even be alive. It was a rule!"


"Nevermind. Yeah, I guess you could say that I'm having a bit of an identity cri– actually, we try not to use that word around here. You never know what you might trigger."

Captain America nodded knowingly even though he didn't know what Batman meant. Just to be safe, he tighened his grip on his shield.

"I guess you could say that I don't know how I am going to live up to the expectations that the first Batman set," Batman said. "He set the bar so high. Too high maybe."

"I know how you feel. The original Captain America? Greatest man who ever lived. How do I possibly measure up to that? It's impossible!"

"Exactly. I know exactly what you mean."

"Well, not exactly. You're not living up to the greatest man who ever lived. You're not living up to an ideal!"

"Okay, well let's not go over board here. He was just a man–"

"Just a man?! JUST A MAN?!"

"Calm down there, soldier. I didn't mean–"


"All I'm saying is–"


Now Batman rose from his chair. "Don't you talk about my dad that way."

Captain America started laughing so hard he had to hold his stomach. "Oh, man, I can't believe it," he said as he wiped tears from his eyes. "He was your dad. You must be messed up."

"Shut up."

Captain America kept giggling. "No, really."

"I said shut up."

"Honestly, what did you guys even do for Halloween?"


And with that Batman launched himself across the table at Captain America.


Batman (Dick) vs. Captain America (Bucky)

Who Wins?

(Show your work)


  1. Bucky would kick the shit out of dick.

  2. Oh snap. I knew it was only a matter of time before shit got real on the Tuesday Showdowns.

    Its going to take me a while before I can answer this.

  3. Dick would win.  Not only does he hav heightened adrenaline from rage but it is obvious  that Bucky is underestimating Dick.  Any Batman (and probably a Cap or 2) will tell you that that is THE fatal flaw.

  4. This one is going to be tough. I’m curious to see what some of the answers will be.

  5. Batman. Hands down.

    Bucky is being a douche up there and Dick is gonna go totally balls-to-the-wall crazy.

    Dick has probably got the frequency of Bucky’s arm hardwired to a device in the belt. One press of a button and Bucky is on the floor, his big mechanical arm now a dead-weight.

    Dick stands over Bucky, staring down in a way that would make Bruce proud. With another press of a button the meeting room door sliently slides shut.

    "Now," says Dick, menacingly. "What were you saying about my Dad?" 

  6. Dick would totally mop the floor with Bucky even with his robotic arm. . .

  7. also very cool story Conor.

  8. Why is Cap being such a dick to Dick? Dick would win…Cap just pissed me off.

  9. The trick is that they’re the same person. 😉 

  10. hasn’t Wizard been doing this stuff for years now?


    anyway, Dick would take Bucky down

  11. Bucky would deliver a serious beat down. You know what they say.. It’s hard being a Dick; you’re best friend is a pussy.

  12. Standard issue bat-utility belt gear comes with an EMP device.  As long as Dick does not go down from the first punch thrown with that robot arm, he wins.

  13. Yeah, I could get into these guys having a tough, sweaty inferiority complex fight.  I don’t even CARE who wins.  I just want to watch.

  14. Why?

  15. If Bruce taught Dick anything, Batman should have at least a small plan in place for beating every Avenger in the room. Whether its an EMP or something else, the arm is probably moot. Hand to hand it’s probably close, but I’ll give the edge Dick, I think he’s got a few more tricks. Or they just go at it JLASAT Mountain style, either way, Batman wins.

  16. As Dick infused with rage ludges towards Bucky, Bucky surprised by Dicks actions dodges split second. Dick rolling into a crouch position and Bucky in position to throw the sheild. Dick reaches for a capsule from his belt and unleases the smoke from within then disappears which leaves Bucky scanning the room, wondering where he’d gone then Dick reappears from above swinging ready to kick Bucky in the chest but Bucky with his fast reflexes was able to block his kick with the sheild. Bucky, annoyed with Dick and his magic tricks charges Dick ready to strike, but Dick grabs hold to his cape spins, tangling Bucky with it. While Bucky is struggling to escape Dick takes out a cord from his utility belt and starts running around Bucky, tying him up.After a few minutes of struggling Bucky escapes only to find a note saying "Im Batman"

  17. That cybernetic arm has got to have some sort of protection from EMP’s. The Russian’s dont f*ck around with stuff like that on an agent that they had been using for so long. Plus, Fury just upgraded Bucky with new one that’s got to be even better. Bucky is the better fighter, plus you put martial arts trained WWII vet who had been trained by two of the most badass governments in the past hundred years up against a martial arts trained acrobat and the WWII vet takes it every time.

  18. Bucky wins. Easily.  Dick doent have that killer instict that Bruce has, the instinct to do whatever needs to be done to win the fight.  Dick is and has always been more about the art in the fight, the ballet-like dance which comes from his acrobatic training and circus background. Dick’s head isnt into whipping asses, he is trying to carve out his own niche but at the same time emulate Bruce.  That conflict has been part of his make-up for years, its why he initially gave up the Robin identity.  Bucky on the other hand is a stone killer. He learned at Captain America’s feet and before that he was trained in Special Forces. He has been through WWII and likely did more than his share of killing, add to that his stint as the Winter Soldier, coulped with his history in battle tactics, the man is ice cold.  Dick’s rage plays right into Bucky’s hands, and the next words out of Dick’s mouth will be "I taste floor…"

  19. Who’s drawing Dick?  If it’s Quietly, then he wins.  If it’s anyone else, I take Bucky.

  20. Bucky being arrogant keeps taunting Dick for another ten min. Dick pulls a Bruce type move and analyzes Bucky’s body and uses Thermal goggles in his cowl for about ten sec. He realizes that one of his arm’s is robotic and uses a Elctro Magnetic Pulse minutre gadget from his Utility Belt and presses the button and Bucky’s arm goes limp. Bucky pulls his gun and fires it in rage at Dick and dick does his signature quadruple Summersault and breaks Bucky’s human arm in three places and the proceeds to try and choke him out. Bucky ignores the pain in his arms and tries to get out of the chokehold but to no avial. Bucky passes out from the pain and then Dick proceeds to kicking in Bucky’s sets of ribs and then tells him "Your a superstitious cowardly punk." and then walks into his bunker on the satelite and he notices Wally walking by and tells him in scary growl "Wally go pick up that piece of trash I left in The meeting room and spare the medicine." Wally scared tells dick "Your starting to become more like Bruce."  Wally picks up Bucky and drops him off in the JLA’s Detainment room that’s fully escape proof and then they teleport him after a day back to the Avengers Underground Lair . Bucky is scarred for life and never wants to go back to the JLA’s Satelite HQ or The DCU ever again after that beatdown. Bucky can never go back to being a Superhero or Master Assasin ever again and he retires.

  21. Bucky and Dick begin to throw down. In the middle of the fight Damien casually walks over to the Batmobile and uses the comm system to call… none other than Norman Osborn.

    "Hey Oz what’s up?", says Damien grinning from ear to ear.

    Norman baffled and annoyed, "Who is this? How did you get this frequency?"

    Damien replies, "Lets cut to the chase Normy. How would you like the Avengers and the JLA wrapped up in one neat little package?"

    "I’m listening", says Osborn.

    "Wire $100,000,000 to my offshore account and I’ll give you their coordinates and the passcodes to get into the compound", demands Damien.

    "Done", says Norman.

    Thirty-seven minutes later, an armada composed of the Dark Avengers, Thunderbolts, The Hoods crew, Taskmaster with several Initiative recruits, and a newly hired Deadpool, arrive at the super secret compound to arrest the Avengers and the JLA. In all the comotion several heroes are killed and others captured. Bucky engages Deadpool.  Both are highly skilled and experienced. Bucky uses his shield to evade one of Deadpool’s blows.  Bucky succeeds in protecting his vital areas but Deadpool cuts off Cap’s cybernetic arm, incapaciating him.  Deadpool then faces off against Batman.  Deadpool keps landing blows without breaking a sweat and manages to cut off Batman’s head.  This reveals that Deadpool wasn’t fighting Batman at all but a life model decoy he purchased on the black market.

    Deadpools exclaims, "Is everyone a robot today?"

    At that moment back on the H.A.M.M.E.R. Helicarrier, Batman walks out from the shadows in Osborn’s office.  He turns to Norman and says, "Checkmate".


  22. @JesTr: I was getting mad until the Checkmate bit. Bravo. You still loose points for using Deadpool though.

  23. This is tough, I love Dick Grayson so I want to say he wins but I’m having trouble imagining it.

  24. The answer is that they both beat on each other for a while, and then they go out for drinks and bond over their daddy mentor issues.

  25. @JesTr nice one, that really had a good ending.

     They fight in the sewers to a draw and then they lead an amalgan universe against two strange cosmic doods with multifaces. 

  26. Taking a batarang to a gun fight?  Winter Soldier wins from a snipe a mile away.

  27. Captain America seemingly throws his shield away, punches Batman in the face, shoots him in the kneecap and then catches his shield as it ricochets off of two walls and clocks Batman in the back of the head.

    Batman is unconscious and bleeding.

    Winner: James "Captain America" Barnes.

  28. Batman wins hands down. It doesnt help that Dick is my favorite hero…

  29. Bucky reaches for his pistol, Dick throws several batarangs, forcing Bucky behind his shield, Bucky rises with Dick going straight for the pistol. Dick gets his hand on Bucky’s wrist, but is forced to let go when Bucky attacks with the shield leading to one of those Jackie Cahn Kung Fu moments where he keeps letting go and re-grabing the pistol arm to prevent from being shot. Bucky runs out of ammo and attempts to drop back to re-load when Dick kicks the gun out his hand. Dick then drops several smoke pellets and quickly drops out of sight before getting taken out by a shield throw. Bucky takes out the flashlight I am pretty sure is somewhere on his costume and knife and follows into the smoke. Bucky catches shadows thru the smoke when suddenly a small EMP device drops down next to Bucky, shorting his cybernetic arm. Batman leap kicks the knife and flashlight out of his hand. Bucky rolls several yards away as the smoke starts to clear.

    "So you knew about the arm?" -Bucky

    "One of the perks of having a preparation crazed father." -Dick

    "Okay, I admit it, that was a little harsh." -Bucky

    "Little late for that isn’t it?" -Dick

    Dick jumps in for one last assault, as Bucky’s cybernetic arm reboots, which Dick notices too late. Bucky lands one good blow to Dick’s midsection and an elbow to the back of the head.

    "Well, I have Tony Stark making my tech as a perk." -Bucky

     In case anyone doesn’t understand the last part, reference the Death of Captain America: Hawkeye, where they use an EMP on Iron Man, whose suit re-boots something like 10-30 seconds after any EMP is activated. 

  30. Damn.  I’m completely unqualified for this one.  They’re inside a sattilite, which woule seem to rule out guns or vibranium shield-throwing.  I’m tempted to assume there’s no way Bucky could win in close-up hand to hand combat, but I don’t know that much about Bucky.  I guess I’ll leave this one to the experts..

  31. If Dick wins then its over, but if Cap wins as soon as he steps outside he will be rapidly and completely disassembled by Damian.  Without Dick there to hold him back he would make short work of the patriotic cyborg. 


  32. Wow, this one messes me up.  Because, "Batman always wins" has been an existential certainty for as long as I’ve known about Batman.  But. . .did that really mean "Bruce Wayne" always wins?  Does Dick Grayson being Batman mean the rules no longer apply?  Is up still up, is down still down, does the sun still rise in the East, does "Two and a Half Men" still suck?

    I’m gonna have to go lie down.

    Oh, but if you take ‘Batman’ out of the equation, Bucky wins because he has a metal arm.

  33. Dick all the way.

  34. @leonard I don’t think you know what you’re saying…

  35. i’m gonna have to give this one to dick

  36. @capfanboy: That’s what she said?

  37. @spiderphilman & @reg5000: Thanks!!!

  38. Dick would give him a pounding.  Yes, I just wrote that.

  39. Dick, nuff said…… For some reason I just got an a image larry flint as EIC of marvel comics.