Here’s a sign of the times that might bring a gallows grin to your face:
Do you remember a couple of weeks ago, when the AP reported that superhero glasses from the Warner Brothers store were found to have as much as 750 times the amount of lead in them deemed safe by the federal government? (It may surprise you to learn that these glasses were manufactured in China, of all places.) When the story broke, it seemed all but certain that the Consumer Product Safety Commission would be coming for your Batman tumbler any day now, but over the weekend they reversed themselves on the need for a recall. The reason? “After thoughtful analysis by child behavior experts at CPSC,” they decided that pint glasses with Superman and the Flash on them weren’t for kids.
I chuckled in spite of myself when I read the story, because I can’t even really disagree with them. (Although why graduating junior high makes it okay that I’m unknowingly drinking cadmium, I have not yet been able to figure out. Probably because of all that cadmium I’ve had.) We’ve gone over this ground before. In the last decade or so, at least from where I’m sitting, the story has gone from “BIFF! POW! Comics Aren’t Just For Kids Anymore” to “No, Seriously, Comics Aren’t for Kids; He Really Shouldn’t Be Looking At That.”
In previous generations, this sort of thing would have been unthinkable. What face would Don Draper make at the person who served him a cocktail in a Batman glass? But these are the seeds people our age have sown. We took the things that were for kids when we were kids—action figures, B movies, video games, and (yes, they were largely for kids) comics—and instead of outgrowing them, we brought them with us. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing, or even a strange thing; every guy at the sports bar who likes football now liked it when he was eight years old. It’s just a new verse of the same old song, but because it’s the one that applies to me I can’t help thinking every once and a while, “Should I really have this much in common with my ten-year-old self?”
Do you ever think about the flipside, though?
As much as we may look at that box of Detective Comics in our weaker moments and think, “My God, I have the same reading habits I had in fourth grade,” that’s not exactly true. Sure, the books themselves have changed from the inside out, but that’s not what I mean. There are also plenty of books or shows we never think about anymore that we left behind like snakes shedding too-small skin a long time ago.
Sure, I devoured every back issue of Uncanny X-Men I could find in the mid-eighties, but I also loved the hell out of Marvel’s Transformers. People today will still go back fondly and read a Fall of the Mutants trade or treat themselves to a periodic revisiting of the Dark Phoenix Saga. Did you ever feel tempted to go back and reread that entire run of Transformers comics from when you were a kid? I made up my mind to do exactly that a few years ago, and after that attempt I can say that if you ever plan to do it, my advice to you is to urgently make another plan. As much as you may be thinking, “What about that time they fought at the Bruce Springsteen concert? Oh, man, what about Robot Master? Good times,” there are certain memories that only stay fond with a concentrated lack of adult scrutiny.
I also got caught up in Secret Wars II fever right around 1986. I never seemed to catch on to this stuff when it was actually happening, either; I was always surfing the back issue bins like I was six months out of phase with the rest of the world. Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns were probably visible directly over my shoulder as I hunched over the “A” box looking for that tie-in issue where Mephisto and the Beyonder gamble for Peter Parker’s soul. (Turns out Mephisto was playing something of a long game there.) Looking back, it’s clear that Secret Wars II was the Phantom Menace of its day: it was a big deal sequel that dominated its corner of the world, and I tried to convince myself I was enjoying it a lot more than I actually was. In the meantime, it actually introduced me to a lot of good books, in the sense that I bought 214 crossovers because I was eleven and thought I had to. It’s no parlor trick that I, if called upon, can write an epic poem about the Beyonder. I put in my time. As an adult, though, when I thought it would be a kick to look at that series again for old times’ sake, I made it about as far as the page where Spider-Man teaches the Beyonder how to go to the bathroom. (This really happened.)
You undoubtedly have your own version of this. As you sit there thinking about it now, do you find yourself saying, “Ye gods, I can’t believe how many issues of Madballs I read” or “Were there really Visionaries, or was that a dream I had?” Maybe you have a complete run of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but not the Eastman and Laird ones; you have the Archie toy tie-in ones that were coming out at the same time.
Whatever it is, you might as well own it. You were a kid, and it takes time for your tastes to evolve. You need a few years to work up to the Batman tumbler.
Jim Mroczkowski wonders if the feds have ever tested the Great Muppet Caper Burger King glasses that have been in his cupboard for the last fifteen years. Maybe they why him brain go slow for make words bad now. Twitter, then sandwich.
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Remember the Mutanimals? They were in the Archie TMNT stuff. What about when the turtles were taken to outer space to be wrestlers by that giant cow head? Jesus those comics were weird but for some reason as a kid i never questioned it
I *tried* to re-read Psi-Force and DP7 a couple years back. I really did.
A year or two ago, my best friend and I watched a couple episodes of the Lynda Carter Wonder Woman TV show. I really wish we hadn’t done that.
The only comics I read as a kid was an issue of Sonic the Hedgehog and A Green lantern trade. I still love that Green lantern trade.
I went into my old long boxes and tried to read some old Punisher floppies from the 90s. I’m angry at 90s me for blowing so much cash on these pieces of sh!t!
I think the only comics I read as a kid (granted, I’m only 21 now, but that isn’t important) was the old Heroes for Hire series (Iron Fist, Power Man, and Black Knight, not the most recent one before the A&L one) and Star Wars: Rogue Squadron. I’d say I read through each of those at least once a year in bits and pieces. Everything else I started reading around Infinite Crisis
I’ve been clearing out my old longboxes of some of this very stuff that I bought by the boatloads as a teen in the 1980s but that now I’ll never read again. Like DC’s Electric Warrior miniseries. And the X-Factor vs. Mephisto mini. Am hoping the local Boys & Girls Club or some other organization will enjoy these things more than I ever will.
For me its GI JOE. As a kid it was all i really cared about….toys, comics, cartoons until Batman the Animated Series came along and got me hooked on that.
As a result i don’t want to try and revisit the new GI Joe stuff. I’ve been down that road before with things i loved as a kid (mostly movies) and usually it gets ruined for me when i realize it wasn’t that good when viewed 10+ yrs later. Also part of me just wants to keep GI Joe as a childhood thing….its more special that way. I know that IDW is doing some good things with it NOW, but i’m not sure if i can do that to my memories. Its like getting becoming friends with an ex after your married.
Sometimes I feel lucky that I didn’t read comics as a kid, because I can encounter most of this stuff for the first time with the proper ironic adult distance.
Aww, who am I kidding? I wish somebody had given me a Transformers comic when I was 10. I’m kinda reluctant to go back to the show, though.
Try giving kids “Final Crisis” to read. That book would make ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE to them. They’d probably think that comic was a piece of crap. Heh, dumb kids…wait?
I imagine Final Crisis will make as much sense to them as it did to me
“Yet what I loved as a child I love now, and what I love now I will love to the end of my days. For love is all I have, and none shall take it from me.”
Ok, quoting Kahlil Gibran feels pretentious, but that line always stuck with me, and it’s what I think of when this subject comes up.
Never revisit anything from your childhood directly. Just remember it. Talk about it. NEVER ACTUALLY RE-READ OR RE-WATCH IT.
@ResurrectionFlan Except Peter Porker: The Spectacular Spider-Ham, that still holds up!
@ResurrectionFlan –AGREED..but its really hard to stay away!!! I did that with Never-ending Story…kind of ruined things. Flight of the Navigator still holds up. lol
I kinda feel the same way about the current Transformers comics. Why can’t I stop reading them?
Back when I was a kid, I wasn’t a heavy comic reader. I blame my parents for being so damn stingy. However, I LOVED comic characters by ways of other mediums, like cartoons and movies. I loved the X-Men and Batman cartoons, but do you know what my favorite toon was?
WildC.A.T.S.
For years without going back and watching the show, I always thought of this as a cool adaptation of a probably cool comic. When I actually started buying comics, I got the first few issues and thought “This was ok, but it’s NOTHING like that awesome cartoon!” Then I went back and watched it. I honestly don’t think anything personifies lame 90’s ‘tude better than that cartoon.
I think half of the equation is that we’ve grown up, but the other reason so many ’80s comics seem hard for us to read is that we don’t really have the attention-spans that we used to. Most people don’t anyway. Everyday on the internet I read and hear people saying that they can’t concentrate on anything for very long–so how can they read comics that take more than 10 minutes to read? They can’t. I realize that a lot of ’80s and ’90s comics are simply bad, but it says something that we used to be able to concentrate and read those comics when we were kids, and now we can’t. The internet has made us stupid in some ways, particularly when it comes to sustained concentration.
@Kick-Ass & D: I know four teenagers who read Final Crisis, liked it and understood it. I know it’s a cheap stupid stereotype that “Final Crisis makes no sense”, and people just put up with it. But just because you can’t understand something doesn’t mean it doesn’t make sense. I didn’t even like Final Crisis, but it does have logic to it. It’s just a different sort of storytelling. That’s another thing about kids in general: kids are generally better at thinking in different ways. For all you guys who think Final Crisis is nonsensical, you basically lack the ability to interpret different types of storytelling. Not everything has to be decompressed or a cinematic narrative. The kids who read old comics could actually interpret switched perspectives and non-linear narratives quite easily. We can’t do that so well anymore.
ROM!!! FTW -it was cheezy and had a whole cast of multi colored warriors but I picked up every issue I saw
ROM!!! FTW -it was cheezy and had a whole cast of multi colored warriors but I picked up every issue I saw
Actually, ROM ages like a fine wine.
BRICK SPRINGHORN
Madballs!! So great that you brought that up. I had a half and half issue with the Popples. I read that thing til the cover fell off. Memories.
@comicBOOKchris I loved WildC.A.T.S. too! I had recently been thinking of tracking down the series and rewatching it. Is it worth watching for the ‘tude at least?
@AlanRob http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtSPJZ-qlhA
The X-Men cartoon animation can be a bit rough but the stories are generally pretty good. Esp. the set up for the 2 part season Finale at the end of Season One when Professor X goes “My watch has stopped.”
And Cyclopes says “Why is that important?”
PX: “Because………….. IT’S MAGNETIZED.” and he drops it and it sticks to his hover chair. (They thought Magneto was dead.)
It’s pretty awesome.
One of the best moments of the wholes series. gave me chills as a kid and it gives me chills now.
@Jimski ROM is the finest of vintage.
@ResurrectionFlan Oh yeah that was effing awesome. I’m pretty sure that was the first cliffhanger i can remember seeing on a tv show and being so pissed i had for next season to find out what the deal was