‘Green Lantern’ Has a Script

News of a script for a Green Lantern movie, written by Robert Smigel (famous for Saturday Night Live‘s TV Funhouse and Triumph the Comic Insult Dog on Late Night with Conan O’Brien). Here is a quick summary of the rather surprising approach…

Green Lantern is not Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Alan Scott or even Kyle Rayner, rather he is a new Green Lantern: Jud Plato, who is giving a power ring after appearing on a Fear Factor like reality TV show. He is then taken to Oa and trained by Kilowog, and at some point, the two of them dine at an Olive Garden.

This does not bode well.

Comments

  1. NOOO!! Not a good start to a Monday.

  2. So are they trying to kill the superhero movie?

  3. It sure seems like that rumor about a Jack Black Green Lantern had some validity.

    But while this project seems like a disaster of epic proportions, this part here is just stupid comic book fan nitpicking:

    He is taken to the �Book� (yes in this script The Great Book of Oa is only referred to as the �Book�)

  4. Singing muppets train GL? Dude, they need to cast David Bowie as Sinestro!

  5. Wow, this movie looks like it might almost be as bad as Daredevil or Hulk!

    Keyword: Almost

  6. I can’t believe they would make a Green Lantern movie like this.

    I stand by Daredevil Director’s Cut as decent film. The Hulk was cool too, but I wasn’t crazy about the plot line with Bruce father.

    Now Elektra was terrible.

  7. I love Hulk! It’s in my Marvel movie top five.

    A twisted part of me buried deep inside wants to see this Jack Black-ified Green Lantern.

  8. If anything, we’ll at least get to see Triumph evicerating the fans waiting in line for this movie. Of course, for that, they’ll need to have fans actually waiting in line for this movie.

  9. The only Green Lantern I’ve ever read was that #1 from about a year ago, and it was� clearly not written for me. If someone had handed Robert Smigel Spider-Man or a character I cared about, I would probably be crying too, but something about that article’s tone makes me bristle and hope they cast the Napolean Dynamite guy.

    We have survived the Bat Nipples and come out stronger on the other side, my people. This too shall pass. Besides, you’ve heard Kevin Smith’s stories about “Superman Reborn”; this movie could go through ten more drafts and five more directors on the Hollywood Development Wheel of Fortune. Sometimes the wheel stops on Bryan Singer; sometimes it lands on Brett Ratner.

  10. oh dear god.

    so as i’m reading it my first thought…it’s not a walking, talking dog they give the ring to, but a human version of g’nort.

    this can’t be real.

    you go from batman begins and superman returns…you don’t take one of the A list DC heroes and turn him into a joke.

    fuck jack black…he thinks he could be green lantern….fuck him…hes not even funny…i hate that guy…his funny ratio is like 35%…no way….and i’ll stick that fucking puppet dog up smigel’s ass if he makes if a spoof fucking HA-HA movie…

    you could do a cool hal jordan origin movie…and YOU know it. test pilot for air force…crashed alien ship…given a ring of great power to help protect earth…this story could have it all

    somehow, and i don’t know why, i hate ben stiller a little more for this and i don’t know why…i just see him in a dark room pulling strings

    so much potential…why throw it away…be years before they could undo a spoof green lantern movie…if your going to do it…do it right!

  11. Hmmm… so you’re not happy, then?

  12. who could be…?

    i see like an independance day meets batman begins type movie meets last star fighter

    yeah there is your fucking green lantern movie

    my senior quote in high school was the green lantern saying…

    i’m just saying “do it right” like superman returns…i walked out of that movie and said “yeah…they did it right..damn that was a good movie”

    i don’t want to see a green lantern movie that is “guaranteed to be 100% a big bowl of elephant piss”

  13. Eh. I love Jack Black. And I don’t give a crap about Green Lantern. So, I’d probably go to see this with Jack Black. Without him…

    I’m not sure how well cosmic characters would do in a movie…

  14. I don’t think there’s enough of a fan base out there to get behind a real GL movie, so in that sense, I don’t expect anything. And I think both Smigel and Black (mostly in the guise of the D!) are both great, this is going to make my Green Lantern tattoo much more silly, and I’ll likely have to have it removed.

  15. Why couldn’t they go for a more serious approach, like this trailer:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SMJ1YhtJRVs

  16. I think the FIRST problem was getting a comedy writer to write a SERIOUS COSMIC character story. I mean seriously…Triumph and the Ambiguously Gay Duo offer nothing in support of accomplished action writing.

    Who the hell lost a bet on this one?

  17. Holy crap Steve, that was hilarious.

    And I’m not sure that a cosmic character could be done seriously. I mean, not without a crapload of CG. I’m not sure it would have an audience. I think people want to see superheroes interacting on an environment that they’re familiar with.

    But I may be wrong. Isn’t the next FF supposed to have the Silver Surfer and Galactus in it?

  18. First of all, why does a Green Lantern movie have to take place in space? I realize that is a large part of the character, but it isn’t all there is. He is the GL of earth and I don’t think the story has to leave the planet. Well, there would have to be a couple scenes on Oa, but I believe a large scale space battle isn’t necessary.

    That being said. Why couldn’t a cosmic character be taken seriously? If they spun the story the right way it could be very dramatic. There have been serious and silly moments in Star Trek films and, more recently, in Serenity. I think a Green Lantern film set entirely in alien environments could be used to show different sides to humanity.

    Third, I would like to see a super hero comedy, just not one that stars Green Lantern. Go with Speedball or the Creeper. They aren’t as recognizable of characters as GL, but I think Jack Black would have a better chance pulling off the Creeper than he would Hal Jordan. Then again, what do I know? I am not a film-maker. I am just a fanboy. What I do know is I won’t be spending $10 to go to the theaters to see a Jack Black GL.

  19. How about a third act with some sort of Black Hawk Down-like scenario where the Green Lantern corp is called into an alien world? Some rings begin to fail, maybe through a scheme by Sinestro. Green Lanterns get caught behind enemy lines. A rookie Hal Jordan rises to prestige by surviving and dealing with the conflict, fighting and defeating the villain, and saving some of his fellow Corp members.

  20. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just really wrong about the space thing. It makes me think that people will think of the character kind of like Star Trek, which has less of a universal appeal than say, Spiderman.

    I don’t know. Maybe I just don’t dig cosmic characters.

    Also, I think that a Speedball movie would rule.

  21. I know more about the Kyle Rayner version of GL than any of the others. How I understand Hal Jordan is that he is some sort of maverick super hero. He is the best and everyone likes him because of that. He gets the hot girls and there is nothing he can’t do.

    With that kind of character you give him something impossible to do and you give him the most unbelievably attractive female lead to fight next to. The most important thing we need to feel is that whatever the conflict is, it is impossible to overcome and it has to be something we can relate to our world. Something with global scope. An impossible battle, because the GLs are cops/soldiers. Make the female lead a Green Lantern too. Make her tough and sexy as hell. Hal isn’t the boy-next-door like Peter Parker. He is a cool guy, but he doesn’t have to be a jerk about it. It wouldn’t have to be soft and feely like Superman Returns (which I did enjoy, but I don’t think we have to repeat that sort of story with every super hero). It would be a story about a guy on top of his game and going beyond that to save the day.

  22. I think a no-nonsense, space cop flavor to GL would work well. Like “Training Day” in space, with Sinestro playing the Denzel role. That way, you could have all the Corps, so nobody would go home disappointed.

    But yeah, nothing would beat a Speedball movie. Cast Kiernan Culkin as Speedy and Gary Sinese as Nitro or whatever villain they choose to plug into the story, and it would be SOLID GOLD. I’d buy a ticket, anyway. I’m sure if they shot it as an art house film with KC on a bouncy ball rather than CG effects, it’d break even.

  23. Kiernan Culkin would be PERFECT.

    Hell, I’d even chip in for the bouncy ball.

    Well, I know that they’re trying to do a Cloak and Dagger movie, so that’ll have to appease the Marvel D-list lover in me.

  24. I just sawthe GL YouTube Trailer. It looks like Green Lantern is fighting the cure. Not like X-Men 3 are fighting the cure, but like Ron likes to fight the cure.