ASK…POST-COITAL THOR – 05.02.2011

He peers at your from across a crowded bar and at first you think his helm some townie's idea of frivolity. But then you see the hammer at his hip and you know. You will ride his rainbow and be taken to a place like Oklahoma but not. And even knowing you'll be making the return trip alone, it is worth the trouble.

He is Post-Coital Thor, and as soon as he finds that sock, he's gonna answer your questions. 
 

 

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Your Mighty Royalness,

After a merry night of drinking too much ale a friend of mine awoke to find a woman in his bed and he didn't even know her name.  How would The Mighty Thor, Odinson and wielder of the devistating Mjolnir, handle this delicate situation?  Rummage about the woman's purse and check her ID, ask if her name sounds like a part of the female anatomy or simply call her 'you'?

Chris Trucksess aka ATO220

PS I think I heard Stuclach call you fat.

Names doth possess great power, Christopher. Enchanters know this. Some foul despots hath redacted their names from every parchment to stir up dark energies, biding their time until their very name becomes a spell of its own. To know a woman's name, it is helpful. By adding direct address to a list of thy own feats, ("it was then, Cobie Smulders, that I unburdened the Frost Giant of his intestines…") thy shall surely soundeth more interested in the woman. Do not rummage in her personal belongings (what if thou stumblest upon a hygiene product?) and do not play at rhyming games (though if they are apt at riddles, mayest they be a troll, and you shouldest take flight, Christopher!). Doest not call her by any venereal malady either, as some braggarts do (this is why I avoided the fair lady Sif for a good while after our introduction) Simply call her, milady.

And then, shouldest the night culminate as it ought, ask her for the proper spelling of her name as thou addeth it to thy phone.

–PC Thor

 

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Dear Post-Coital Thor,

I believe I have the strangest stalker in the world.  There is this woman that I have been romantically interested in for about 2 years now, but when I told her this, she refused my advances and has specifically told me she is not interested in me in 'that way.'  No biggie, I just left her alone, but she insists on being where I am all the time.  After she denied my advances, she started dating some other guy, and I told her I didn't want to talk to her at all.  But she still shows up wherever I happen to be socially, and insists on talking to me constantly about her boyfriend and asking my advice.  Even when my advice began to simply be, 'break up with this tool, and go out with me.'  She still calls and texts me all the time, even though I have stopped responding, and stopped talking to her at all.  Yet, I still can't get her out of my head, and she is the only woman that I think about.

What should I do, O' Spent Thunder God?  What would your advice be?

Vidman, A.K.A. Clinton

My only advice is to be the Thor in any relationship and not the Beta Ray Bill.

OHHHH!! Thor didst go there!

–PC Thor

 

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Thor,

As a strikingly handsome Economics Professor I am often propositioned by coeds who, understandably, find themselves drawn to me like moths to a flame.  When I choose to bed these young ladies I often end up seeing them the next morning in class.  This has proven to be rather awkward.  Advice?

Seriously,
Chris Clark

stuclach

Outhouse, Georgia

This is only awkward if the bedded women believe they are singled out. Bed all of the women, even the unsightly. Bed also the men. This can be achieved at a large bacchanalia mixer at the start of the semester. Netflix Caligula. Make sure to caress all bottoms equally. Stoke all fires. Giveth everyone a B.

As for grades, this is up to your discretion.

–PC Thor

 

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Dear Satisfied God of Thunder,

I have a query that maybe only you may understand and answer, and if you do, that would honour me greatly. Firstly let me say, I love my girlfriend. We are very happy together. I am going to marry her when we become slightly older, and when we are both solely independent. We are still young but old enough to be called adults.

I have known her for 10 years, She has been one of my best-friends for 8 years, and we became more-than-friends about half-a-year ago. The reason I say all this is because I want to make it clear that this is someone special, and not someone who I wish to just have a momentary "release" with (AKA. not a random wench from the bar. No offense to any who feel so).

The problem is this: We are of age (i.e.21), so naturally we engage in physical intimacy. My girlfriend usually likes me to come over to her place when we do this.  The thing is that she lives with her Mom, who let me say is a nice lady. Not to mention smart. And she is USUALLY at home. So, naturally, I am nervous about her catching us in the act right UNDER HER NOSE. If she did walk in on us doing the deed, this would prove difficult for me in the years to come, when I ask for her daughters hand (such are the customs and traditions of the place I am from).

I would prefer if we went to my place. And we do. But sometimes my girlfriend wants me come to her place. She thinks we should take turns going to both places. Sometimes mine. Sometimes hers. Which, for the reasons stated above, I wish to avoid.

Please advice oh wise and strong, Odinson, beacon to all meek men such as myself.

Your humble servant and worshipper,
Comfy Man.