PREVIEW: Prepare To Die! by Paul Tobin

Everynow and then, the worlds of comic books and prose novels collide and the latest entry into that arena is the upcoming novel Prepare to Die! by Paul Tobin, published by Night Shade Books.  Prepare to Die! is an intense story of super heroes, sex and love and the emotions involved with being the world’s greatest superhero in his last days and is definitely a must read.

If you don’t believe us, hear what writer Chris Roberson had to say about the book:

“Paul Tobin’s novel reads like a Chuck Palahniuk novel in superhero drag—it is MIND BLOWING. Veteran comics scripter Tobin turns to prose with tremendous effect, and in doing so demonstrates why he is one of the most versatile, exciting writers I’ve had the pleasure of reading. The emotional density of Prepare To Die! is juxtaposed against the reader’s preconceived notions of what a superhero story is, creating a reading experience like no other. I wish I had written it.” –Chris Roberson, writer of iZombie

If you’re curious about Prepare to Die!, Night Shade books has provided us with a look at the first chapter in the exercept below. If you like what you see, you might want to pre-order Prepare To Die!, especially during the 50% off sale at Night Shade Books website.

And now, we present the Chapter 1 excerpt of Prepare To Die!:


I pulled off Interstate 184 into the parking lot of the Minute Marvels convenience store and turned off my iPod. My toes ached from how long I’d been pressing down on the gas pedal. All I wanted was some water, a bathroom break, and of course some caramel crab cakes, but the instant the music was gone I could hear the woman’s screams.

Her voice was keening and sharp, like a laser’s hiss when it cuts through damp air, or the kiss of metal scraping on metal, and I was out my car door and wishing I could take a piss before dealing with whatever was happening, with whoever’s life was being shredded, with whoever was acting the part of the asshole.

I say acting the part of the asshole, but of course for so many people it’s not an act. They really are assholes.

The parking lot smelled of gas and confections and soda pop, and my feet stuck a bit to the pavement with each step. The screams were coming from a blonde, too overweight to be considered as pretty, but well dressed. She didn’t look like a bad person. She wore a red business skirt with a white top and a dark blazer, and three convicts were in the act of stealing her car, one of them punching her again and again, trying to force her to let go of the steering wheel, which she was clearly holding onto for safety. If someone could have explained the reason she was being hit, she would have let go of the wheel, slid out of the car, and stood aside. Take it from me, though… most people don’t have any reasoning abilities during a fight. It leaves them entirely.

I said, “Hey.”

Nobody did anything.

I said, “Knock it off. Right now.” One of the three convicts stopped what he was doing. I swear to god he was cleaning the windshield, right in the middle of the car-jacking. Another one was topping off the gas while the third man was beating the woman. It was a full-service crime.

All three of the men were in orange jumpers from the Athens Penitentiary. I’d heard a report of the prison break. Two dead guards. Thirteen dead convicts. Three men on the run. Looks like they were tired of being on the run and were now trying to be on the drive.

The man punching the woman was huge, and clearly a member of some Aryan brotherhood. He was probably the worst threat. The man pumping the gas was a squirrely type, like a Holocaust survivor about halfway through his stay. His jumper was ripped and bloodied near his left calf: he’d taken some damage during his escape. It didn’t look too bad, but he wasn’t putting much weight on the leg. The man cleaning the windshield, the one looking at me, had a big mustache and a bald head and his mouth was full of beef jerky he’d obviously stolen from inside the Minute Marvels convenience store.

With all the food in that store, he’d stolen beef jerky. The criminal mind at work.

“Stay out of this shit,” he said. I nodded, and walked closer. All three of the men were now looking at me. The woman was slumped down in the driver’s seat, bleeding from a wound on her cheek, mumbling “Nine One One” over and over again. The Aryan Brother who had been beating her reached to the top of the car and picked up a Glock. I hadn’t noticed it before. It was probably something I should have seen.

He said, “I’m in prison for killin’ a man. They goin’ execute me. Nothin’ to lose by killin’ one more.” The gun was pointing at me. It was a Glock 19, one of the compact types, and it looked like it’d been dug up from a ditch. I wondered if he’d buried it before going to prison, or if somebody had planted it for him prior to his escape. I could hear sirens from far away. Too far away to make much difference. We were surrounded by cornfields, with corn that was dick height to a midget. Three cows had somehow gotten into one of the fields and were munching on the growth. It was anybody’s guess how they’d gotten there. Cows will often go somewhere just because they’re too stupid to know they’re not welcome.

I told the Aryan, “You’re not in prison. You’re in a convenience store parking lot, making bad decisions.” I tried not to make it sound like a threat, but I’ve heard people say that everything out of my mouth sounds like a threat… that I could ask someone if they’d like some whipped cream on top of their pumpkin pie, and they’d crap their pants and run off. I do try to smile when I talk to people. That mostly goes wrong, too.

“Just kill him, Bigger.” It came from the man pumping gas. He’d topped off the tank and was now purposefully spraying gas onto the pavement. It was running in a stream along a dip in the parking lot. I watched an empty corn chip bag get caught up in the flow. I like the smell of gas, but understand it’s not good for you.

I said, “Bigger?” to the man with the Glock. “Your name is Bigger?” He straightened to attention, like a dog that’s been called by name. The Glock dipped up and down, but the aim remained more or less at my head. He had tattoos of weaponry. White-trash heraldry. Women’s names. Hash marks.

“How the fuck you know my name?” he demanded.

“Jesus, Bigger,” said the man who had been cleaning the windshield. “The Colonel just said your name. That’s how this asshole knows.” He was wiping the windshield clean with a paper towel. He threw the towel towards the trash. Missed. Picked it up and put it in place. The woman in the car was still groaning about Nine One One.

“Put the gun down,” I told Bigger. “Put it down and we can end this.”

“Who the fuck are you to tell me anything?” he asked. He fired a shot towards my feet. The woman in the car sat up straight and looked around like she couldn’t believe what was happening, and maybe that was true. Her mind was shutting down. Full fetal in the brain. The other two convicts barely flinched when the shot went off. The windshield cleaner pulled at his mustache, as if in thought. The bullet hit less than a foot from the stream of gas that was flowing across the parking lot. There’d been a spark. We’d almost gone to hell. I wondered about the clerk in the convenience store. I hadn’t seen anybody moving around in there. A car, parked some thirty feet away, had a man peeking his head up at intervals. Maybe he had a cell phone. Maybe he had called the police. Maybe the sirens I was hearing were coming closer. It didn’t seem like they were, but we were in open country and sounds play tricks.

“Who. The fuck. Are. You?” Bigger asked me again. I took a step closer. He didn’t like it. He shook the gun, trying to force me to look at it, to acknowledge it, to understand its power. I refused. Looking at a gun just makes these people happy. Instead, I was thinking of Adele. She was still three hundred miles away. That’s if she was home. I should have called. I should have told her I was coming. I wondered if her life would change when I knocked on her door, and I wondered if that change would be good or bad, and I, mostly, wondered if I had any right to knock on that door and create that change. I really should have called. I really should have given her the chance to say “no.” But… without calling, the whole time I was driving, I could pretend that she would be happy to see me. I needed that dream.

“Answer me!” Bigger yelled. He was flexing his muscles. I admit they were big. The day was hot and his muscles were covered in a glistening coat of sweat. His orange clothes were badly stained. If I walked any closer, I’d probably start to smell him, even over the scent of the gas.

“Who am I?” I said. “You don’t recognize me, do you?”

Bigger said, “Wha…?” He was thinking about firing another shot. He looked back to his friends, confused about how I wasn’t afraid. When he turned, I could see that he had Hitler’s face tattooed on the side of his neck.

I said, “I suppose it’s true that I’m not in costume, but hell… my face has been everywhere. Though, to be fair, maybe you haven’t had a chance to keep up to date. I hear you’ve been in prison for killing a man.” I was getting mad. I usually do at about this time. It always starts calm, but something about the moment when I decide that things have gone too far, it gets my blood raging, and I start to feel like my heart is outside my body, egging me on, pushing me towards these fights.

Bigger said, “Jesus.” I think he recognized me, right then. I think my face came back to him. He fired a shot and I’d been right; he’d been aiming at my head. The bullet struck the side of my nose, just below my eye. It ricocheted up and through my hair, tugging at the strands. I stood looking at Bigger. The Glock is a powerful weapon. He’d made me mad.

I said, “I’m Steve Clarke. I’m Reaver.”


  1. Awesome 1st page and opening to a story!!! I think I will have to buy this, love Chuck Palahniuk and that reference/comparison combined with superhero drag had me intrigued before I read the page. Good stuff, hope this does well.

  2. Clicked on the Night Shade link to see the price and this book wasn’t on they’re sight, did a keyword search too.

  3. He’s a Reaver! Look out!!!
    ” I am a leaf on the wind!!!”
    ” I am a leaf on the wind!!!”
    “Watch how I soar………..”