Dr. Drew can suck it.
You have burning questions. "Why does it burn when I _______?" for example.
"IT DOES BURN! THE DOCTORS CAN'T TELL ME ANYTHING!"
And though we'd normally field those questions to Conor in the weekly iFanboy Letter Column, sometimes you want to pose your query to a more fictional sage.
That's why we're opening up a rift in the multiverse for a new weekly feature called "Ask _______!" You will now have the opportunity to pose questions to your favorite fictional experts from actual comics related to whatever topics you so choose. And they will answer!
"OMG! WHAT? GIVE ME A FOR INSTANCE!"
In the coming weeks you will get the chance to ask comics characters like Jonah Hex to help you solve your complex relationship problems! "My boyfriend is not tender with me, Mr. Hex. Whatever shall I do?"
You may seek the counsel of Dr. Fate in career matters, be they mundane or cosmic! "Dr. Fate, I really need this promotion. Is it important that I go to Gerry's weekly strategy session/laser tag outing? Every Saturday?"
A new character will step in to provide advice and guidance each week, with a notice of the next week's fictional guest columnist at the bottom of the page. Their responses come free of charge.
"HOW? HOW DO I DO IT?"
Email your questions along with your first name (or an alias "Call me Lonely&Looking from the New Castle Wendy's") and your general location to ask@ifanboy.com. We'll take care of the rest. And if you ever miss posing a question to your favorite character, don't worry; they may well return to solicit another batch of questions later on.
Start submitting questions now for next week's very first advice columnist…Doctor Doom!
WOW! I LOVE DOCTOR DOOM! HE'S SO AUSTERE! I AM TOTALLY DOING THIS!
Submit your relationship/career/dermatological/pet/cooking/productivity question for Doctor Victor von Doom to ask@ifanboy.com by midnight EST on Sunday, February 6th for a chance to have it answered next week!
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Next…Watcher, P.I.
Yes, he lives on the Moon, and he’ll observe…yes, observe for you at the right price! ($10 a day, plus expenses, and a hot meal…or at least a really good cold sandwich. He isn’t picky.)
(Oh man, what to ask Doctor Doom, what to ask? Got to come up with a good one here.)
I will be seeking Dr. Fate’s advice on work related conundrums. So excited.
Awesome, awesome, awesome. I just submitted my email.
a million times YES!
Thus week on Bonanza. Jonah Hex comes to the Ponderosa. (not on topic but I read this while I was actually watching Bonanza, and the idea made me giggle)
I’m looking forward to this
Oh man, I forgot to email a question! My birthday was Saturday, and I spaced on the important things, like asking Doctor Doom a question. Oh well.
@powerdad It’s a new weekly column so you can still send questions in.
But I thought it would be different characters each week. Is it Doctor Doom each week?
Okay, I didn’t make my point very clear. I wanted to ask DOOM a question, and that’s what’s bumming me out.
@powerdad It’s a new character each week. Some weeks I might open it up to “Ask anybody”, inviting you to pick the character yourself. But this week it’s Doctor Doom and next week it’s somebody else. It’s past the deadline, but if you have a really good question for Doom, you can send it now.
Just this once! 😉
Thanks for the offer, Paul! Don’t worry about me, and I don’t want to set any precedence for your new column. I imagine you have a deadline to maintain, and frankly I have work to do. I’ll keep my eye on the ball better next time, and just enjoy the answers when they come out this week.