I’m not a ranter. 

I’m really not.  I generally LIKE the comics I read and have never felt the need to take time out of my day to go online and complain about something.   But …

Coming off the Whedon/Cassaday run on Astonishing, a masterpiece in my mind, I was a little apprehensive about this new arc.  But, despite many online rants to the contrary, I really enjoyed the first issue of Ellis & Bianchi’s run.  Bianchi’s art is certainly very stylized but at least he has a style.  The panel layouts and the things he did with negative space were a little weird but whatever – he’s trying something new and I give him credit for that.  The writing was solid and consistent enough for me with the voices of these characters.  This issue, on the other hand, was a trainwreck.  So much so, that it crossed over from comic to comical and inspired me to come here and rant. 

I won’t say that the art was bad (the rating system here really needs something between “poor” and “average”) because technically it was fine – well rendered, interesting compositions etc.  It’s more that it was completely careless and I’ll give you the one glaring example… 

This story takes place in one location in one day and yet Hisako (Armor) changes costumes several times in this issue including one instance where her costume changes 3 times ON ONE PAGE!  I can resist nitpicking to a point, but come on.  How do you look at a finished page of artwork an not see that you’ve drawn a character completely different in 3 separate instances?  Are you drunk?  And how does that slip through editorial?  Has Axel Alonso never played the “pick-out-what’s-different-in-the-2-pictures” game?  Little kids can do that!  Clearly, in his illustrious career as a magazine writer and editor, Axel never picked up a copy of Highlights. 

And don’t think you’re getting off the hook Mr. Ellis – I’ve got bones to pick with you as well …

So, Emma scolds Hisako for calling her “Miss Frost” and tells her that Cyclops insists on code names when they are in the field … but what is Emma’s code name?  She’s not the White Queen anymore right?  I don’t know, maybe she has one and this is my own fanboy ignorance talking.  But I am fairly certain that her code name is not “My Girlfriend” which is how Scott refers to her later in the heat of battle.  WTF?!  Never mind the total contradiction to the “always-use-code-names edict, but what a sissy thing to say to a villain. 

OK … *breathe* … I’m done ranting.  I promise the next time I write something it will be about something I liked.  And I’ll be back for the next issue of Astonishing because I’m not ready to give up just yet, but come on guys – pick up your game.  At least pretend that you’re putting the same time and effort into these books as creators that we are as readers. ‘Cause if you don’t, I’m going to have my girlfriend kick your ass!

– BP